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Difficult day... Siggy warning, pregnancy mentioned

ajsweetonajsweeton member
in Late Term and Child Loss
On Monday I had a cerclage placed to hopefully prevent another loss of these twins due to PTL/PROM. I had the procedure done at the same hospital I delivered Elliott and Ryland. Following the procedure I had to pee before they would let me leave. It was extremely difficult due to the numbness not wearing off completely so my husband and I were walking around the recovery area in order to try and get things moving. In the worst possible storage area next to the bathroom in recovery was all of the hospitals loss things. The crocheted outfits for babies born too soon, loss books for children, things to make handprint molds etc. My husband and I immediately started crying. I haven't been able to get over seeing those things and thinking of nurses collecting those things for Elliott and Ryland and for other women who've lost their babies. My husband has been struggling with it this week too. I feel angry that they even store things like that out in the open and so sad to see them and think that the hospital has to carry such a large stock of such things that it has to be stored out in the open. It just poured salt in the wound. It was already difficult just to be in the same hospital on the L&D floor without having such a visual reminder of what we lost there in our faces. I'm thinking of writing the hospital to say that maybe they could find a better storage area out of patient view for such things. Do you think that's petty? Should I just leave it alone? I was so very thankful to have the things they gave us when we lost Elliott and Ryland. I treasure their hand/foot prints and their crochet blankets we took home from the hospital. Sorry so long just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading.
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Re: Difficult day... Siggy warning, pregnancy mentioned

  • Bayberry12Bayberry12 member
    I'm so sorry you had to go through that, it sound very painful.   

    Shortly after my daughter died, DH and I met with a specialist to talk about what happened and what we could do next time.  Well, the nurse gave me a book about loss and told be to "quick, put it in your purse".  I guess she didn't want the pregnant women in the waiting room to see it.  This pissed me off, it was like shhhh, hide your loss, don't let anyone know.  I my mind, I didn't want to hide it, I wanted everyone to know this happened to me, it happens everyday, and nobody tells you it could happen.

    I guess what I'm saying is, if it will help you heal by telling the hospital that seeing those special little items out in the open is extremely painful, tell them.  It's "little" things like these moments, that can be so hard for us.  Most hospital staff don't get it, but some do.  Making one change could help someone else not have to feel the sadness you and your DH felt seeing those things.      
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  • Dixon813Dixon813 member
    ~~Siggy Warning~~




    I'm so sorry it was a rough day.  (I do hope the procedure went well).

    Do you have/know someone at the hospital that you'd be comfortable talking to?  We got to be(and still are) close with two of the MFMs and if I saw something like this, I would feel comfortable talking to them about it.  I don't think it's petty at all - it's nice of you to look out for others...
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  • stefugestefuge member
    I'm sorry that you had such a tough time, that would not be easy to see.

    I don't think it's petty. I too have been debating about contacting our hospital regarding a couple things that happened while we there after having Colton. I feel like, if I can do something to lessen anther family's pain, it's worth it.

    Hope the procedure went well.
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  • angelsnightangelsnight member
    Ticker warning

    I'm sorry you had to see that and that it upset you.  My thoughts are, my hospital was wonderful with my loss, and they were all very compassionate.  But 30 years ago?  Who knows.  I can only assume that someone/someplace does everything right, because someone told them of something they were doing wrong.  I don't think it's bad at all to let them know it can be painful to see, and ask if there is someplace more discreet they can put them.

    On an unrelated note, I hope your procedure went well.  We're you able to pee before you left?  I couldn't, I tried so hard and even had them run water to help me, but ended up needing a catheter.  But I was still numb enough it didn't hurt....worrying the cath would hurt was the whole reason I tried so hard to pee.
    Lilypie - (fm2j)

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  • ajsweetonajsweeton member
    Thank you ladies. I don't really know anyone at the hospital well except my doctors, but I'm going to look up the card of the administration office in charge of losses and shoot them an email. Even if they just put everything in a cabinet instead of open shelving it would be a lot better I think.

    The procedure went very well. I had minimal bleeding and just some cramping for a few days. They feel really good about the placement of the stitches so that's good. I was shocked at how tightly the doctor pulled the stitch! I could feel the vibration of him pulling and even heard him grunting a few times! I guess the tighter the better in the long run. I FINALLY was able to pee 3 1/2 hours after the procedure and 4 hours after the spinal. I was getting worried I'd never get out of there. I just pray this cerclage holds and keeps my babies in. Thank you all for your responses.
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