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August 2013 Moms
Bunnyfer
member
Working Mom Check In
Bunnyfer
member
Its that time of the week again...lets hear it
Well I have been back a full month....and still hate every minute of it. Dh does not get it and just tells me to get over it. To make matters worse, I have another shift bid coming, and may end up losing my shift that is working well for us. I hate picking a new schedule every 4mo. So today is my Monday, and I am dreading it already. How about you guys...how we holding up
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Re: Working Mom Check In
I have access to hospital grade pumping machines at work. When you sign up for a lactation room they give you a free kit that has the tubing, shields, and bottles. Everything you need to pump plus an attachment to make it manual. You just use their machines if you want too. It's pretty sweet.
Since I've been orientating, I've been doing 8 hrs. I am dreading 12 hrs. I hate them.
DD is STILL refusing bottles. The only way we have got her to take one is while still asleep in her crib just as she begins to wake and eat on her hands I can slip the bottle in and she will eat. So I know she CAN do it. I have no idea what to do...
Also it is like she is realizing this is coming because she has slowly been moving her bedtime earlier this week from midnight. Last night it was 10! I hope that continues.
Mommy to J: Born 5/11/2010 & B: Born 8/26/2013
Pumping went ok...I pumped what she ate so I can't complain. Id like to have a little extra just in case, but I know that part could be much more stressful from some of the stories here. My heart goes out to anyone with pumping issues.
I feel more at ease with the woman watching LO and this has alleviated my overwhelming anxiety I was having and reduced the hormonal sobbing spells that were happening every night.
So, all that being said, I know LO is asjusting and she seems happy. I do enjoying being among adylts and I do love my job and the company I work for is great.
I'm having a really hard time being both. Being an employee and being a mom. It feels unnatural and like I'm living a double life. If I think about LO at work I feel like I'm being distracted and not performing to the standards I set for myself. When I come home I feel disconnected from LO and like I don't really know her as well. I notice so many new things she is doing and it just feels strange to only see them for a few hours at night, it almost feels like I'm just babysitting until I go back to my 'other' life at work. I don't know how or what to do to make the dual roles coexist. Hopefully time fixes it because I'm fresh out of other ideas.
Eta: sorry for the novel, I have a lot on my mind!
I'm excited to be around adults again, but DD is growing up and getting a lot more fun to be around, so I know I will miss her tons.
I am going to spend the weekend preparing. Meal planning, cleaning, organizing, choosing outfits in advance. One thing I do enjoy is how being a working Mom forces you to get organized.
@lokilahve I hear ya about the double life.. I too have been feeling the same.. I hope you're able to find balance!! I know I'm still searching for it.. Knowing he's in good hands makes it easier.. But I still wish he was in mine! But then I do enjoy my job and want to excel at that too.. Oh the struggle!!
I had to actually start working this week.. The previous weeks I was kinda skating by.. Now this week I started covering for a manager on medical leave.. She manages a team of 20 who does a job I haven't done in 3 years.. I also haven't managed anyone in 3 years either. It's been quite the eye opener... It made time go fast.. That's a plus..
I was pissed because I worked a late shift last night and my co-worker wouldn't let me take a break. So, when he went on his midnight break I pumped in the department (pharmacy). It worked out really well and he had no idea since I finished before he got back. A female co-worker was totally okay with it. First time I've pumped in front of a person that wasn't family.
Daycare is going so well. She started taking long naps for them which is really nice. There is another baby that she "plays" with and it's so freaking cute.
I think I found that family-work balance that I needed.
the two just seem so unnatural and conflicting. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like, if I'm am a good employee and work to the standards I've always held myself to, then I'm not able to be the mom I've always envisioned myself being. But if I try to be the mom I've always envisioned then I'm falling short of my own set of professional standards I've always operated by. (Eta: quote fail but you know what I'm talking about)
Set boundaries. I leave work at a decent hour and make dinner/bath/bed a priority. I get to emails and put out fires once everyone is in bed. When I'm at work, I do work. I take a few mental breaks here and there and check in with you all
It's hard and it's an adjustment, but it does get easier.
I still struggle with feeling like I'm missing out on so much, but I just try to make the most of the time we do have together.
I was able to attend my le leche meeting and I cried between food allergies and pumping just needed the support.
Here's to week two.
At the same time, when I *eventually* had kids, I imagined I would be a SAHM. Well, eventually came a lot sooner than we expected.
I am having mixed feelings, but DH and I agree we'll do a trial month and then evaluate our family situation.
Staring on Monday
1. For some reason my milk supply has dropped from 5 to 6 oz to 3 oz this weekend I'm thinking stress and tamiflu. I'm not sure I will have enough for my Monday 10 hour shift. I may have to dive into my freezer supply which is not that substantial.
2. When I went for a DC visit I wasn't as comfortable with my choice compared to pre LO there were so many babies crying I was so stressed out
3. LO is a sparkler she has no self soothing fall backs ie. paci, thumb the only thing that calms her is either comfort sucking/ eating or walking around. None of which her grandma teach can do with her. I picture her screaming all day.
4. She is a light sleeper and likes to be swaddled and the daycare has a no blanket policy so I don't think she is going to sleep at all.
5. When talking to the teacher she seemed put off by a EBM baby, like it was impossible and I think she said something along the lines of sometimes babies at this age need 6 oZ, I'm not sure I was so overwhelmed with all the babies crying
6. My little sparkler needs attention and makes it known I'm so scared there going to force feed her to shut her up
7. I made such a big fuss about returning full time pre LO and now I want to switch to part time.
A. I didn't say anything at my pre return to work meeting and my boss fired a temp because I was returning full time soon. He didn't like her interaction with patients but would have probably needed to keep her if I said I was returning part time. Evidently it is really hard to find qualified physical therapist for small private practices.
B. I owe a shit load in student loans and feel guilty over cutting my income in half even though DH wants me to work part time. He made a good point that my schooling allows me the opportunity to work part time and still make a decent living, but I still feel guilty.
I think that's it but I might come back with some more gripes. Pre LO I would be downing this bottle of wine in front of me with all of this stress but need to pump in an hour. I NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!
My supply is all out of whack because I don't really have enough time to pump and go to the bathroom and refill my water. And my work has acted like I'm a slacker since coming back.. Crazy I don't want to spend my days off at meetings..
And I secretly wanted LO to cry for everyone because he missed me... Never happened. He's a big flirt!
Dramatic vent over.
@lokilahve I relate a lot to what you're saying about the difficulty balancing work and mommihood. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo kinda.
I started back to work this week and LO started daycare. Daycare is going well and thankfully LO now takes the bottle no problem! Although she doesn't like the taste of my frozen milk, so I have to have fresh milk for her... Kinda puts a lot of pressure on me!
And work... Well they didn't find a place for me to pump and said I'd have to use the single stall women's bathroom. Ummm NO. I made a big stink about it so now I have to track down and see which of the managers is not in their office at that time, get a key to that office, and pump there. It's a big hassle and I don't like pumping in random managers' offices. The only thing that's getting me through it is the fact that if I don't do this to pump, Hailey won't have anything to eat at daycare the next day. It sucks, plus the 45 minute commute each way and getting her to daycare each morning is draining. It does get easier right? RIGHT???
On the plus side work is letting me work from home on Fridays, which is huge. I don't want to ever work 5 days a week again! Which could make finding a new job hard...
Mommy to J: Born 5/11/2010 & B: Born 8/26/2013
Just finished my 4th week back which means LO goes to daycare starting tomorrow. I am at work today for a few more hours then need to prepare everything for her for tomorrow. I am actually off work tomorrow, but am taking her for a few hours as a trial. I don't want to, but I know it will be good to do it. While I said that it's gotten better over the 4 weeks that I've been back at work, I do feel like I am starting fresh now that she will start daycare tomorrow.
Aug.13 May Siggy Challenge: Moms
@lokilahve I hear you on the balancing mommy/work. Dd had a really fussy day this week and I totally said "I cannot work all day long and have a fussy baby. I just can't do it." I know I can do it, but it was a rough day.
Week 4 starts tomorrow. It's getting easier, but not more manageable. I still have to bring a ton of work home and I refuse to do it when dd is up. I miss enough time with her while I'm working, I refuse to choose work over her. That means some very late nights for mommy. I got my flu shot this week and have either had a reaction to it or have caught the plague that's going around. I don't have the time to be sick. I'm hoping that it's the same cold dd had last week and not something new. I really don't want her to get sick again (I know she'll catch colds. I'd rather her not be sick again this soon).
We have our "Irish Twins"
DD born 8/7/2013
DS born 7/28/14
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My new plan is to not do ANYTHING in the evenings and just play with LO. Also, after this week, LO won't be going to the sitter anymore. She got a job and I was tired of driving so far. My MIL will be watching LO until January when he starts at DC. My H is a teacher and I can't wait til he's on break!!
DS born 9/3/13; DD born 7/22/15; LO due 5/28/18
FS (age 5) and FD (age 2) to become AS/AD very soon!