Pregnant after IF

why? Why? WHY???

Why do people have to tell you pregnancy horror stories about their mom's friend's sister's cousin's daughter in law? Don't they know I'm already paranoid as it is?? I wont even share the stories with you because i dont want to worry anyone else. Now I'm even more freaked out, and all I can do is sit and wait for my next appointment in 2 weeks. This is a really awkward time...I'm feeling better but not feeling movement yet, I don't think, so I'm a little on edge and so didnt need to hear anything so grave. Vent over,
DH & I: 29
TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
TTC #2 since October 2011
2IF issues
7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

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Re: why? Why? WHY???

  • TJ1979TJ1979 member
    edited November 2013
    Ugh, people are such idiots. When someone tells you they have cancer, do you tell them the most horrific cancer death story you have ever heard? NO, you wish them the best and keep them in your T&P. Yet its totally okay to panic pregnant women? what is wrong with people?
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • Because people suck. That's my only explanation.

    There was a post on my BMB a few days ago about m/c basically asking how common it was. @letsgobowlingx posted a nice chart for them breaking it down. Of course, tons of people had to chime in and say "well that's all fine and dandy but myself/my sister/my friend/my coworker/my neighbor/my random acquaintance had a miscarriage at such and such weeks so what you posted basically doesn't matter". If there's a 3% chance of a m/c at 12 weeks (let's just say) and you happen to know someone who had a m/c at that time, they're part of that 3%. The other 97% of people probably doing a-ok.

    They just need to realize there's the exceptions, and then there's the rules. By and large, women do not m/c late in the game. But everyone knows someone who did because they're part of that rare percentage of people and those are the stories that get around and that people remember.

    /rant

    I wouldn't put much stock into people's horror stories. You can even tell them "No negativity at this time please, I don't need help feeling any more nervous than I already do"



  • Yeah I hate that crap. Especially when it took us so freaking long to get here. Chances of loss fall after heart starts beating, then after first tri. The other thing is dont people know if you cant say something nice, dont say anything????????????????????




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  • Why don't people just tell us the good stories!

     

  • Ya, idiots all around.  For some reason people think pregnant women have lost some kind of sensitivity to EVERYTHING.  They can call you fat, tell you horror stories, tell you you're going to have a m/c, tell you your life is over because kids suck, etc, and then they call you emotional for being upset by their stupid ass comments.  I don't get it.

    I interupt people and tell them I don't want to hear horror stories.  So far it has worked like a charm.  Sorry you had to hear what you did.

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

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  • I am sorry, I know it sucks. However it gets worst when they compare your kid to their kid at that age. I always what to say, my kid is not the same! 

    Good luck 
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  • BeeBee08 and would probably just interrupt people if I think the story is going down the wrong path.  We IFers don't need the added stress!  Plus, as @katekat8721 said, people only tend to remember the bad stories.  But for every bad story think about how many more good stories there are.  uuugh people!
    Me 31 ~ DH 30
    IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
    <3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
    DX - PCOS 2004
    FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
  • Thanks gals... I knew you'd understand. I was even having a conversation with a friend about how scared I am about the pregnancy and she commiserated by saying, "I know, I was scared during my last pregnancy because my friend told me..." WTH? First of all, you got pregnant with all 3 kids at the drop of a hat, and then you're trying to relate to me?? UGH. People. 
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

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  • ForevAAROSEForevAAROSE member
    edited November 2013
    I HATE this and truly its been driving me crazy lately. This lady at my job goes "you're huge". Like wtf! Just because I'm pg don't call me fat dammit!!!!! Then everyone chimes in with their labor horror stories. Labor Is scary, and DH finally got me to calm down about it but when people randomly tell you about their emergency c section or 48 hr labor story, all of dh hard work goes down the drain.

    Why do women feel so comfortable telling us pregnant women their experiences? Unless I ask you, save it or shove it. .
    Another thng is I keep hearing "your nose is getting big". Yes I know!!!! Why state the obvious! That's like me saying "oh wow thats a huge pimple on your face". Grrrr

    Rant over.
    Thanks :)
    TTC Since 112010 Naturally. Diagnose:PCOS(ME) + Low Motility(HIM). Started IVF+ICSI Cycle 12312. ER 27 & ET 210 two embies transferred. *BFN 1ST IVF CYCLE.* **Getting as healthy as possible and will try IVFICSI#2 again hopefully in April.** -- HAVE FAITH; LET GO & LET GOD --
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