Welcome to the rest of our lives

stefuge · November 2013

So it has been 11 weeks since we lost Colton and I can tell that we are reaching that point of people not wanting to talk about it anymore, wanting us to "get over it." One friend in particular has this attitude like our loss is nothing compared to their 5 miscarriages and every time I talk about missing Colton or trying to find answers she turns the conversation back to her and their struggles with infertility and their miracle triplets. Sigh. Welcome to the rest of our life, huh? I realize life goes on and no one is as affected by this as we are, but still, he matters so much to me and the only way to remember him is to talk about him. Besides, I listen to all of them tell stories about their babies and brag over photos of their kids. My little boy died. I almost died. I may have a disorder that could affect my health the rest of my life. I guess 2 months is the limit on sympathy.

Dramatic rant over. Thanks for listening.

VyD81 · November 2013

I'm sorry. Unfortunately, people don't understand. We will never "get over" the loss of our children. I'm learning that some people will never get it, and only talk to people who cares.

Sending you many hugs.

BrittianyM · November 2013

So sorry that you are having to deal with people like that. We will always have the right to hurt and talk about our babies. They are our children whether they are here physically or not. Talking and thinking about them is a great way to keep them alive here on earth while they are living in Heaven. Sending hugs!

AJCagle82 · November 2013

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think most of us know how you feel all too well. I really don't think people understand what we're going through. Someone told my brother that I just need to get pregnant again like that would fix everything. It doesn't fix it!!! Yes, I would love to have another child, but another child in no way brings Parker back or replaces her. I don't want to replace her or forget about her. Our babies are a precious gift even if they aren't still here with us. I just wish people could understand that this is something we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. I hope you find some comfort.

irons633 · November 2013

I'm sorry your feeling this way sweetie. People can be so insensitive and no one understands that even when people who suffer losses have other babies they never forget the ones they lost and how they would be apart of our lives. Hugs!!

kz's_girlygirl · November 2013

I am so sorry! People really just don't understand, and I am trying to tell myself every day that it is OK- OK for them to not understand, and more importantly, OK for me to protect myself from people and situations that don't support my needs. Whether that need is to grieve openly, be silent, or just try out a "normal" face for a while.

The rest of the world wants us to be our old happy selves, but the fact is, we are changed. We can still be happy, but we aren't the same people we were, and dealing with people trying to get you to act a certain way because they expect it from you is exhausting!

Huge ((HUGS)) to you, and know that Colton and you matter to US and we want to hear about him.