Maybe I am very cold hearted

MoFree · November 2013

Reading the posts about feeling a responsibility to give life to embryos created via IVF, I don't feel that way. I respect any and all beliefs as long as they are not imposed on others, but I do not feel that way.
If the FET I am now preparing for becomes our take home baby I can honestly say I feel no obligation to transfer the remaining two frozen embryos. I know this doesn't jive with many people's beliefs but I do feel that I should give them life just because we created them in a laboratory.

Hopeful1981 · November 2013

I do agree with you. I respect all beliefs as well and I fully intend on using my frosties, but I would never think that someone should feel obligated to use their frosties. There are many reasons for wanting to limit family size and not use all your frosties and I don't think anyone should feel obligated to have a child (whether an unplanned pregnancy, whether frosties, whether anything) if they do not want to have a child (regardless of reason).

I just happen to be someone who wants a large family and so I intend to use my frosties (because I don't have that many of them)...but if I had come away from my previous IVF cycle with like 15 frosties, then no I would not feel obligated to go through 15 FET and possibly have 15 kids.

itsmevkb · November 2013

I get that everyone doesn't feel the same way I do. For me, I see them as little human beings and so I can't donate them to science or just discard them. It's also the reason I went into our IVF knowing we would never create more embryos than we felt children we would be willing to have. It is something my husband and I both feel strongly about. It isn't something we expect from anyone else, just something we expect from ouselves.

Ruthie04 · November 2013

I agree. While I completely understand why someone would feel passionate about giving the embryos a chance, I don't feel the same way. We had a total of 25 embryos between our two full cycles and never had any frozen embryos. We have horrible quality (the RE said that was probably our issue all along- lots of fertilized eggs during the years of TTC, but crappy quality that hindered implantation). I don't think of those embryos as babies we lost. But, prior to that discovery, we were planning to donate any unused embryos. DH's GF suffered from Parkinson's and the research was important to DH. My family; however, thinks I'm totally immoral for feeling this way.

ccam · November 2013

I also agree about there being different beliefs. Not everyone is going to feel the same about this situation. So I'm not sure why you'd think you're being cold hearted.

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