Babies: 9 - 12 Months
dgiles44
member
FTM needs encouragment :/
dgiles44
member
Hi Moms,
DD is 11 months old and going through rapid changes. She suddenly hates being confined - high chair, car seat, swing - and fights meal times, car rides and nap times. Naps only happen if I catch her at exactly the right moment, give her a bottle while rocking and slip her into her crib as she's falling asleep. Otherwise, she pops right up and cries in her crib till I come back.
She's no longer happy in her jumper, walker or play yard - she's only happy when she has free reign of the house, which means I follow along to keep her out of trouble and get nothing else done.
My real issue is that I feel like I spend my days doing the minimum to keep her entertained while also doing the minimum in housework - since I can't seem to do both things well - and therefore she's not getting enough quality time and my house is still a mess. I know lots of moms do both with more kids so I'm frustrated and feeling like a bit of a failure. I want to be the creative mom who is always finding cool things to do but somehow I never get to that after dishes, laundry, etc. How do I break this pattern?!? Thanks for any suggestions!
DD is 11 months old and going through rapid changes. She suddenly hates being confined - high chair, car seat, swing - and fights meal times, car rides and nap times. Naps only happen if I catch her at exactly the right moment, give her a bottle while rocking and slip her into her crib as she's falling asleep. Otherwise, she pops right up and cries in her crib till I come back.
She's no longer happy in her jumper, walker or play yard - she's only happy when she has free reign of the house, which means I follow along to keep her out of trouble and get nothing else done.
My real issue is that I feel like I spend my days doing the minimum to keep her entertained while also doing the minimum in housework - since I can't seem to do both things well - and therefore she's not getting enough quality time and my house is still a mess. I know lots of moms do both with more kids so I'm frustrated and feeling like a bit of a failure. I want to be the creative mom who is always finding cool things to do but somehow I never get to that after dishes, laundry, etc. How do I break this pattern?!? Thanks for any suggestions!
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Re: FTM needs encouragment :/
I let DD have free roam of the living room, dinning room, kitchen, and her room. She still gets into the garbage, she loves dirty diapers and used k-cups, but that's what babies need. I know where she is and call her name or talk to her from the other room (our dinning and living rooms are almost like a great room and there's a door to the kitchen next to it), I'm close and she feels independent.
I don't have laundry put away, I've delegated the easing and drying of it to DH, and he puts it in our room. I'll put away a little every few days if I can.
Dishes are rarely ever all done, even with a dishwasher. Dd tries to take everything out or climb on it, so I do it when she's sleeping or someone is home to occupy her. There's days I don't do them at all, like today.
As for those other moms, I'm convinced they're secret alien pod people trying to make us feel inferior.
Sure we all know those moms that se to always have their shit together, but eh. My kids are happy and healthy and that's all that matters.
This age is very trying, they can't communicate, they are eager to learn, there is SOoooo much knowledge out there they are dying to soak up. It's also great practice for when they're 3, which IMO is far more challenging than any other age I've dealt with thus far. I'll update when I have a tween.
Please don't compare yourself to other moms, don't think about what you ardent doing or should be doing, just do. Live for that day with DD because tomorrow that day will be the past and she won't give a flying fluck if mommy cleaned properly.
Also see if someone can help. Being a mom is so hard and we do need to ask for help once and a while.
You're doing great! Give DD some extra cuddles and buy some good coffee!
Just make sure you are baby proofed. They are going to get into things, but be conscious of keeping chemicals locked away and small objects out of reach, cover those wires and outlets, and honestly, your child will probably be just fine. If I don't hear my son making noises for a few minutes, I will go and check on him, but I can usually hear a steady stream of happy babble, and I know he's OK.
As for housework -- forget it! I do what I can, but yeah, my house could be cleaner. I also work full-time from home running a freelance business, so I also sometimes feel guilty about my lack of time doing those creative mom things with my kids...but they are both bright, happy, healthy, and well loved, and that's what really matters. You can only do what you can do.