Some people are so insensitive.

annibes · November 2013

Omg. I'm in the waiting room for my first visit with the RE to get some answers and a baby was fussing. The mom actually just said, "shhhhh. Shhhhh. quiet. You're going to make these people not want one of you."

Fortunately, she was on her way out, but WTF? How can you say that in a room full of people who are here solely because they want babies? And it blows my mind that someone at the RE would even allow themselves to say something like that.

Vent over. People amaze me.

KC1212 · November 2013

OMG! How did you not slap her?! X(

That's like before I had DS - I had a friend who has 3 kids and is VERY FERTILE and she would be like " be glad you don't have kids, etc" or "be glad you don't have to worry about getting pregnant"

Gah! Stupid people kill me!! ~X(

freakyfast · November 2013

Geez! That's all I got to say.

pettycrocker · November 2013

I do not know why people are so fucking compelled to bring their babies into the RE office to squee. I can totally understand wanting to show your RE what they helped create, but there is such a thing as a fucking CARD with a fucking PICTURE in it.

I would never even dream of bringing DD to the RE's office. I didn't even want to bring her to the OBs office that specialized in IF, and that was an actual OBs office where pregnant people go. I just think this is such a huge AW thing to do, and it's wildly inappropriate.

KC1212 · November 2013

Mrs Castillo said:
I do not know why people are so fucking compelled to bring their babies into the RE office to squee. I can totally understand wanting to show your RE what they helped create, but there is such a thing as a fucking CARD with a fucking PICTURE in it.

I would never even dream of bringing DD to the RE's office. I didn't even want to bring her to the OBs office that specialized in IF, and that was an actual OBs office where pregnant people go. I just think this is such a her AW thing to do, and it's wildly inappropriate.

This 100% =D>

tuscanbride2007 · November 2013

People can be so insensitive! During my last cycle when I went in for betas and was experiencing a chemical pregnancy, I rode on the elevator with a woman with a baby in a stroller. My RE office is the entire third floor in the building, so when she pushed the button to go up there I was shocked. She strolled right up to the front desk and asked about some eggs that she had frozen there. Thankfully they quickly took her in a back room, but I thought, you couldn't have picked up the phone to discuss this?

mrsgabus · November 2013

I would never bring ds1or 2 for any RE appts but I must admit I did have to bring ds2 when I dropped of DH's semen.

I am blessed to have two children and sometimes I feel so bad for wanting more when some ladies can't conviece one.

People suck sometimes.

KC1212 · November 2013

mrsgabus said:
I would never bring ds1or 2 for any RE appts but I must admit I did have to bring ds2 when I dropped of DH's semen.

I am blessed to have two children and sometimes I feel so bad for wanting more when some ladies can't conviece one.

People suck sometimes.

I think it's ok if it is done out of necessity and you're not making dumb ass comments around a bunch of grieving infertile women like the case in the original post

Jen071407 · November 2013

So this was someone who was well aware everyone in the waiting room is doing everything under the sun to get pregnant and have a baby?! What. An. Idiot.

CeCe8579 · November 2013

Ugh! I had an experience like that with my last m/c in February. A woman sitting next to me had a newborn and a 4 or 5 year old and she asked if I had any children. I told her I had an "almost" 6 year old. She said "Well, don't have anymore, it's not worth it. Kids are a pain and more then one is annoying and just plain trouble. This last one was an oops and if I could go back and change it, I would". WTF???? I looked at her and said "I would give anything not to be loosing the one I am pregnant with now. Yes, children can be a handful but be lucky that you are blessed with them because some women aren't as fortunate as you". She just kind of stared at me and then the nurse called me back. It just makes me wonder why people like that have children so easily but I can't seem to.

SnowflakeBride06 · November 2013

I'd like to chime in and say I totally agree that what that woman said was wildly inappropriate and that bringing a newborn to a fertility clinic is all kinds of painful, even the OB's office I struggled with whether to bring her.

At 2 out of the 3 fertility clinics I went to, I saw children in the waiting room, the first RE's had older kids which was ok but the second RE's office had a 1 year old and the parents were ridic. They assumed everyone in the wait room wanted a slobbering baby toddling around them and I have a kid. They acted like they were the most interesting people in the world and had no regard that all of us were trying and could not get pg.

This new RE I am seeing had a special family waiting room. I have never seen anyone use it and I never bring DD out of respect and its just easier without her.

I will say after my last BFN beta I walked out and saw a newborn and mom waiting outside and I lost it when I got to my car.

Whether you have kids or not, I just think that its better to be sensitive to others. You never know where they are at in life. Even at the OB when I was pg with Isabel, there was a woman waiting as long as me, the nurse came out and hugged her and said her beta was 0. Its crushing.

Gah

*steps off soapbox*

CheesyPeas · November 2013

Iloveshanej said:

Ugh! I had an experience like that with my last m/c in February. A woman sitting next to me had a newborn and a 4 or 5 year old and she asked if I had any children. I told her I had an "almost" 6 year old. She said "Well, don't have anymore, it's not worth it. Kids are a pain and more then one is annoying and just plain trouble. This last one was an oops and if I could go back and change it, I would". WTF???? I looked at her and said "I would give anything not to be loosing the one I am pregnant with now. Yes, children can be a handful but be lucky that you are blessed with them because some women aren't as fortunate as you". She just kind of stared at me and then the nurse called me back. It just makes me wonder why people like that have children so easily but I can't seem to.

This makes me want to cry for that poor kid. What a horrible woman! On top of being insensitive to others around her, she was incredibly hurtful to that precious baby. Thank goodness the baby was too young to understand.

CeCe8579 · November 2013

CheesyPeas said:

Iloveshanej said:

Ugh! I had an experience like that with my last m/c in February. A woman sitting next to me had a newborn and a 4 or 5 year old and she asked if I had any children. I told her I had an "almost" 6 year old. She said "Well, don't have anymore, it's not worth it. Kids are a pain and more then one is annoying and just plain trouble. This last one was an oops and if I could go back and change it, I would". WTF???? I looked at her and said "I would give anything not to be loosing the one I am pregnant with now. Yes, children can be a handful but be lucky that you are blessed with them because some women aren't as fortunate as you". She just kind of stared at me and then the nurse called me back. It just makes me wonder why people like that have children so easily but I can't seem to.

This makes me want to cry for that poor kid. What a horrible woman! On top of being insensitive to others around her, she was incredibly hurtful to that precious baby. Thank goodness the baby was too young to understand.

I know. I wanted to take that sweet baby with me! It was heartbreaking. I remember going into the room and bawling!

annibes · November 2013

Ugh. It sucks that so many have had similar experiences, I am sorry for everyone who has.

There were actually quite a few kids there- a few about 2, and a couple preschool aged kids. But none of their parents were making stupid comments. I don't mind seeing kids in the office, but even to joke that a little fussing would turn us all off to having children (or more children) put me into shock.

On the plus side, we now have some (even if a little shaky) answers. So the visit was worth it even with the dingbat and her mouth.

chusum · November 2013

I read a blog post on someone's personal blog recently, a friend had shared the link on FB. It was beautifully written by a mother with two children. She started the post by saying she saw new parents with a fussy baby at a grocery store, they were strangers, and another stranger came up and said "Just wait..." as in just wait, things are about to get tough. You know the same thing everyone says who doesn't know what a miracle children are. This women went on to say some great things she has been able to experience with her children and then at the end she wrote what she said to the new parents, she said the same thing, but her tone and delivery was much different. I am getting goosebumps and tears in my eyes just thinking about it again. It was just so well written and refreshing to hear someone say something so different than the norm.

Here is the link if anyone is interested. What you encountered today just made me think of it: https://katiewetherbee.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/joy-or-just-wait/

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