Hi to everyone. I wish we didn't have to meet this way.
4 weeks ago I went in for my 36 week appointment. My pregnancy had been completely healthy and boring up to that point. I measured 3 weeks behind at that appointment so I got an ultrasound to check things out. Baby was very small, measuring at only 31 weeks. Dr said the baby needed to come out because he wasn't thriving inside. At this point, except for IUGR, our baby was seemingly healthy. My husband and I went over to the hospital to have a baby. The little booger was still breech, so I was prepped for a c-section. Our peanut was born at 3 lbs 1 oz and unable to breath on his own. We were also informed that he had several apparent birth defects and Trisomy 18 was everyone's diagnosis. Our sweet Jude was taken to a children's hospital 45 minutes away.. My DH went with him while I recovered. The next day I was released and joined them in the NICU at the other hospital. We spent 6 days with our sweet munchkin, loving him, amazed at how strong he was and how much progress he was making; waiting for the chromosome test results. We got those results on day 6 and he did in fact have Trisomy 18. Our hearts shattered. We got 12 hours of family saying goodbye to him and us holding our beautiful boy. That was the first chance we got to hold him because of all the different lines he had going into him. He still had his ventilator which made it tricky, but I got to hold him and kiss him and smell him. It was amazing to hold him, he felt perfect there in my arms. That is where he was meant to be. We made the difficult decision to remove him from life support that night.
Making the decision to take him off life support was the most difficult decision my H and I have ever had to make. Holding my perfect boy in my arms as he passed away is the most heart wrenching thing I have ever done. It has been just over 3 weeks since he left us and I miss him every minute. Our family feels so incomplete without him here. But, we are so incredibly thankful for the 6 days we got with Jude. We know we are so blessed to have that time with him.
Thanks for hanging with me through that long story! I'm sad to be here, this sucks big time.. But I'm thankful for a group such as this.
Re: Intro - quite long
Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
I am so sorry that you have to join us . I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy Jude. Hugs to you!! We are all here when and if you need us.
Heather
I am so sorry for the loss of sweet boy Jude. Welcome to the board and big big hugs.
Ticker warning
My heart aches for you, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Jude. I can't imagine how much harder it is to have to face the decision you had to make, no parent should have to go through that. I'm so sorry you have to be here, but I am glad you found us. Please feel free to post as little or as much as you need. Huge hugs to you!
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
I am so glad you got to spend a few precious hours with him, and am sending thoughts of comfort and healing to you.
Please use this board as much or as little as you need to- it has been an incredible help to me.
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
I'm so very sorry for the loss of Jude. Please know we're here for you however and whenever you need us.
Many prayers to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your little Jude. I can't imagine how much harder it is to have to make that decision. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I hope you find the support and love here on this board that you need.