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mother-daughter ball

ambrvanambrvan member
edited November 2013 in Blended Families
SD brought home a flyer for a mother-daughter ball and has asked me to go with her. First let me say I am overjoyed and deeply touched that I was automatically get first thought.

But herein lies my dilemma... I never went to any of my own school functions. I also am fairly uninvolved with her school events and the other parents at this time because with a full time job and school on my plate, the last thing I want to do is run around with a bunch if parents who talk about each other and make everything a competition between their kids. It's like an episode of Dance Moms around here.

So obviously I think I should just suck it up and go because seriously, how many SMs get to go to a mother-daughter event? I am often struggling to find things for SD and me to do together because she is so girly and I'm not. This is perfect.

They are going to have a gingerbread house station, ornament making station, Santa, the daughters can get special "holiday braids" some by stylists, and chair massages for the moms. I have to say it sounds intimidating to me.

First, do you think it is inappropriate for me to go with SD, knowing the backstory? Regardless, we won't even tell BM about it. SD probably wouldn't think anything of it even if BM and I were standing next tiny each other when she got the flyer.

Second, if SD happens to mention it to BM after the fact during a visit, if there is any backlash, how do we deal?

And last, what do we wear? It says "a night where moms and daughters can celebrate the magic of the holiday season in the girliest ways imaginable."

ETA: Horrible phone grammar. Sorry.
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Re: mother-daughter ball

  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    I would get a couple of fantastic dresses! How fun!
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    Oh honey, DO IT.  

    Yes, there may be a clique.  But there will be enough other moms who are not part of the "in crowd' for you to hang with.  

    Go get a coordinating (not matching) outfit (winter tops and bottoms that you can use with other clothes) and have a blast. 
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Go. You MUST

    I know that there are cliques among the parents. But who cares? This isn't about the cliques, it's about SD. So go. This will mean so much to her. Get some fun dresses, do your nails and hair all pretty and go have a good time. Screw what the catty moms may or may not say. You're not there for them. You're there for SD.
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  • SueBearSueBear member

    Definately go and have fun!  It seems there are enough "hands on" activities to keep everyone busy that they won't have time to stand around and gossip. 

    I would also add.....there are probably a lot of really great moms at SD's school, and you don't notice them because the Dance Mom moms are the loud ones who get the attention.  This may be an opportunity to meet some of the nice ones, especially the moms of SDs friends.  That is who I would talk to - usually nice girls have nice moms.

    Get dressed up and get mani's or paint SD's nails.  Don't do her hair too fancy (b/c it will come undone during the braid station) but maybe put in a hairband or bow.  And if you aren't girly.....I'm sure if you dress up in dress slacks, a nice top and nice shoes, you will fit in.  Not every mom likes to wear dresses. 

     

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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    I'm excited that asked me to go with her but thinking of an actual event (I don't do social scenes very well) is already giving me anxiety. Of course I am going to go. SD would have fun and I have been looking for more bonding time with her that falls in her interests. But ugh... I'm already shaking and this thing isn't til Dec4th.
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  • SigirSigir member
    As a working mom I don't have the same opportunities to meet the other moms as the sahms do, and in my town the majority are sahms. So I used to feel anxiety also about going to things like this, but I found that there are always other moms like you who don't know anybody. You can talk w them, or just focus on your sd. There are so many planned activites that you will stay busy... It's not like a prom or something where you will just be sitting at a table all night.

    I wish my school did this, it sounds fun!
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  • sweetwalkssweetwalks member
    Ditto everyone else! Go & have a good time!
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    It will be so fun and magical for her, and her excitement is bound to rub off on you. I get being nervous but just remember that there are other people there that won't know the 'dance moms' either. Have so much fun!!!
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • Pinkpenguin+Pinkpenguin+ member
    Lavender P said:

    It will be so fun and magical for her, and her excitement is bound to rub off on you. I get being nervous but just remember that there are other people there that won't know the 'dance moms' either. Have so much fun!!!

    This. I completely understand your anxiousness about these types of events, but try to turn some of that into excitement at sharing something so special together. You'll have lots of fun and there will be other moms just like you. SD is excited to show you off, let her excitement wear off on you if you can.
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  • PumpkinpiemommaPumpkinpiemomma member
    edited November 2013
    That sounds like so much fun, definitely go and don't let a bunch of snotty moms scare you off. Go out and buy pretty dresses for SD and yourself and make a big deal about it, I'm sure she will love it and remember it for yrs to come. A chair massage sounds amazing too, I never pass up the opportunity for a massage, especially a free one lol.
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