STMs....I have a potentially stupid question

BB0214 · November 2013

What do you do while you're in labor? Obviously it depends on what your birth plan is. But what are you doing while you wait to deliver? Please don't flame me for a potentially stupid question. I'm just curious if I should bring books or an iPad to watch movies, or is so much going on that I won't need or want to do that?

boogerbearoriginal · November 2013

Well, it really depends - are you plannign to get an epi or not? From my experience and talking with friends/family who've given birth - if you're getting an epi typically you do have a lot of down time. Supposing the epi does it's job, and it's not like 3a, you'll have typically time to play online/stuff. If you plan on giving birth without meds, then yea, you'll not want to read/etc.

I will say, everyone's experience is different even with an epi. I've known people who love it, works great they go in get epi, wait around, push out baby. Voila. And I've known others for whom it doesn't work or only numbs partially and they have to manage labor differently than expected - this is one reason why I encourage ALL moms to look into different coping techniques JIC. Also, some women get epi (or don't get epi) and then birth goes to shit for any number of reasons and end up with a csect.

jdubh · November 2013

I was working on knitting my DD's baby blanket...THEN baby was breech so I went to the OR for a c-section

karich · November 2013

I've done it both ways.
When I had an epidural, we watched tv and slept. Spent a fair amount of time texting

When I was kicking it au natural, I spent a lot of time in the shower, walking around, and talking to DH.

Unknown · November 2013

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Unknown · November 2013

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magentawarped · November 2013

I didn't get an epi, so I didn't really want to actively do anything but try to breathe and not kill people.

karich · November 2013

Madisonpenny said:

karich said:

I've done it both ways.
When I had an epidural, we watched tv and slept. Spent a fair amount of time texting
When I was kicking it au natural, I spent a lot of time in the shower, walking around, and talking to DH.

Here's a question for you. Since you've experienced both a natural and a birth with meds, which, in your opinion would you recommend? I get it's a personal decision and labor is different for everyone, and every birth, but this has me intrigued.

You are right....it's such a personal decision. Only you know what you can handle in terms of pain. I honestly didn't think doing it natural was that bad. Not once did I say "I can't do this". But, I think it's all frame of mind. You cannot panic. You need to stay calm, you can't let the pain overcome you.
I had a pretty bad experience with an epidural, and so for #2, I decided there was no way I would do it again. Not only did I experience complications from the epidural, I really felt out of it for the birth. I was so relieved it was over, I kind of missed out on the part where I should have been over the moon that my baby was here!
With no meds, I felt like a million bucks after. I was up and in the shower within an hour of getting to post-partum. The recovery was a breeze compared to my first.

Also: I have zero plans of getting an epidural for this birth....if that says anything.

WookieesCookies · November 2013

Phone, tv, brought my laptop, probably did some bumping, I watched a lot of netflix. I had a 5 day long induction so I definitely had a lot of downtime and got pretty bored. Thank goodness the hospital had wifi.

Firefly9 · November 2013

My husband and I sat around watching TV and talking. DS was almost born to Pawn Stars.

C12H22O11 · November 2013

Before I had my epi, the only thing I could focus on was getting through the next contraction and I did A LOT of walking.

After epi, DH and I just sat and talked. I think Sportscenter was on in the background, but we were pretty focused on each other.

I brought books, music, etc and never touched any of it, even post partum.

BB0214 · November 2013

Thanks for answering my questions!
I'm going for an epi. So I guess that means I will have quite a bit of down time depending on how fast it all goes.

potbellypig · November 2013

karich said:

karich said:

I've done it both ways. When I had an epidural, we watched tv and slept. Spent a fair amount of time texting When I was kicking it au natural, I spent a lot of time in the shower, walking around, and talking to DH.

Here's a question for you. Since you've experienced both a natural and a birth with meds, which, in your opinion would you recommend? I get it's a personal decision and labor is different for everyone, and every birth, but this has me intrigued.
You are right....it's such a personal decision. Only you know what you can handle in terms of pain. I honestly didn't think doing it natural was that bad. Not once did I say "I can't do this". But, I think it's all frame of mind. You cannot panic. You need to stay calm, you can't let the pain overcome you. I had a pretty bad experience with an epidural, and so for #2, I decided there was no way I would do it again. Not only did I experience complications from the epidural, I really felt out of it for the birth. I was so relieved it was over, I kind of missed out on the part where I should have been over the moon that my baby was here! With no meds, I felt like a million bucks after. I was up and in the shower within an hour of getting to post-partum. The recovery was a breeze compared to my first. Also: I have zero plans of getting an epidural for this birth....if that says anything.

I had a natural birth with my daughter and my experience was like yours. It wasn't that bad and recovery was really easy. We went home 12 hours after getting to the hospital (labour lasted 5 hours, pushed for 3 hours). I didn't tear and as soon as the placenta was out I felt good (unless I was trying to pee...lol).

sweet*18 · November 2013

It was night time so we attempted to sleep (had the epi) and we had the tv on low volume. We were pretty uneventful

AKAP2010 · November 2013

If you get an epi then you will probably nap a little or at least I did. I was in labor for 34 hours. I had my iPad and just kept busy while I was awake.

Akrani · November 2013

BB0214's question but we just started researching writing a birth plan and I'm curious what STMs think is important or unimportant to include.

Who did you allow in the room during labor & birth?
After birth, did you put off procedures to have the baby brought to your chest?
Anyone try breastfeeding immediately?
Did you avoid Pitocin to deliver the placenta?
Did the baby stay with you or in the nursery?

I know I have a lot more research to do but as a FTM, I think I mentally blocked out labor/delivery because I have no idea what to expect and am beyond terrified. As of now, planning on an epi but am not sure what requests to make if induction and/or a c-section is necessary.

Thanks in advance for your help!

micaelasmakeup · November 2013

I went on at 10pm and they gave me Tylenol PM and let me sleep, I woke up about 6 in active labor and walked, took a shower, put on makeup;), by 11, I was in really active labor so I talked to family and bounced on my ball, I think by 1:30ish I asked for the epi and took a short "nap", started pushing at 2:30 baby here at 5.
I pushed FOR EV ER!
I'm going to try to go longer without the epi this time. I loved the meds but I think it slowed me personally down.

Akrani · November 2013

megash113 said:

@akrani I would probably make that its own post. You'll get a lot more input that way.

Thank you, will do. Just didn't want to get flamed for asking some of the same ?s as OP.

versed · November 2013

I labored for a bit at home: painted my nails, took a shower, shaved my legs, watched a movie, bounced on my big ball. At hospital, I planned to walk around, get in the tub bounce on birthing ball. HOWEVER, I was pretty much ready to deliver once I got to hospital, so I didn't really do anything except push a baby out. Highly recommend iPad and the likes for the hospital stay, though.

TM14.defunct635821369925797514 · November 2013

utpony said:

I am SO happy this question was asked. It was not something that ever crossed my mind. I think I just imagined showing up, screaming in pain, punching DH, then getting baby.

This was kinda what I was thinking too!

Mazingmommyof6 · November 2013

Avswolf said:
I had an epi with each of mine, but only when the pain became too much. I'm sort of a wimp, but I like to pretend to tough it out. Lol. So, up until I got the epi I would walk. I hate being in bed for any amount of time if I'm not sleeping. After the epi I would read, nap, watch TV, etc. My first time I played Tetris for 8 hours on my Gameboy. I hate that game now.

No wonder we get along. Major Tetris lover here

boogerbearoriginal · November 2013

Akrani said:

BB0214's question but we just started researching writing a birth plan and I'm curious what STMs think is important or unimportant to include.

Who did you allow in the room during labor & birth?
After birth, did you put off procedures to have the baby brought to your chest?
Anyone try breastfeeding immediately?
Did you avoid Pitocin to deliver the placenta?
Did the baby stay with you or in the nursery?

I know I have a lot more research to do but as a FTM, I think I mentally blocked out labor/delivery because I have no idea what to expect and am beyond terrified. As of now, planning on an epi but am not sure what requests to make if induction and/or a c-section is necessary.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Who is in the room doesn't really need to be in your birth plan. My hospital had standard procedure for baby to be held by mom immediately, breastfed as soon as possible if desired, and baby always roomed in. Assuming of course everyone was healthy/not in need of medical attention. Pitocin was routinely administered after birth, but it wasn't a big deal to me despite giving birth med-free/without it. I think if you ask your Dr whether it's routine for them and if so, if you can wait and see instead that is going ot be more useful.

IME, birth plan was really unnecessary. Knowing what I did/didn't want, talking with my Dr and my husband beforehand, knowing standards for my hospital, and telling the nurses when we arrived our wishes was more than sufficient.

sdlaura · November 2013

My best advice is to listen to your body and try different things to see what makes you most comfortable. I had a birth ball and lots of plans to move around into different positions and do things like baking to take my mind off of contractions. Then when I actually went into labor things progressed really fast and I could not force myself to move from the couch until it was time to go to the hospital. Just lying still and focusing on relaxing and breathing deeply was all that my body wanted to do - and it worked great. Things moved fast and I was able to have an intervention-free birth.

lovethembabies · November 2013

I labored over night, so DH and I both tried to rest between contractions. In the morning, it was time to push!

Addygill · November 2013

@utpony that's exactly how mine was. I showed up I was already 5cm my water was already broken I just screamed and cried for hours swatted at my mom a few times, and then he was in my arms.

mamatobe2012 · November 2013

karich said:

I've done it both ways. When I had an epidural, we watched tv and slept. Spent a fair amount of time texting When I was kicking it au natural, I spent a lot of time in the shower, walking around, and talking to DH.

This. I did 26 hours w/o epi and just hung out with DH, watched a movie (uncomfortably), spent tons of time in the shower and generally just trying alleviate discomfort/pain.

Once I got the epi and went to the hospital I was so tired taht I just slept. If I get an epi earlier this time I'd probably watch tv and nap until it's time to push (since I know I won't be getting much sleep for the next few months!).

applejacks3232 · November 2013

I think an important thing to remember is that every labor and birth is different. It doesn't make you a wimp if you decide to get an epidural, or mean that you can't handle pain. I had to get an epidural after 36 hours of intense labor after my doctor finally broke my water due to exhaustion. It was epidural so I could rest or C-section. I chose epidural (although now I wish I would have chosen C-section).
During the non medicated portion, I spent most of my time walking (lol if you could call it that-- more like crawling) and on my birthing ball- I took a shower at home, read a little bit of a book before the pain got too bad.
During the medicated portion, I watched some TV, listened to music, threw things at my DH who was sleeping in a chair, talked to a couple of the nurses about their own deliveries, tried to convince my doctor to check how big the baby was.

gfam23 · November 2013

utpony said:
I am SO happy this question was asked. It was not something that ever crossed my mind. I think I just imagined showing up, screaming in pain, punching DH, then getting baby.

Do keep in mind it could still very well go about like this! ;-)

quidditchcapn1120 · November 2013

Who did you allow in the room during labor & birth? Whoever wanted to come. My BFF, my mom, my sister, my grandma, and DH are who I remember ring there.
After birth, did you put off procedures to have the baby brought to your chest? No. I was so tired after a 30 hour labor and didn't experience that adrenaline rush other moms talk about. I fell asleep before I even got to the recovery room.
Anyone try breastfeeding immediately? Yes, I was a pretty naive FTM and didn't get it. Luckily I stuck with it and went on to nurse for 15 months.
Did you avoid Pitocin to deliver the placenta? I had a medically necessary induction so there was no avoiding the pitocin.
Did the baby stay with you or in the nursery? Mostly with me but I had him taken to the nursery for a bit the night before we went home. I won't do that again- I asked the nurse to wake me and bring him to me when he was hungry and instead woke up on my own at 7 am and he was never brought to me. I never got a straight answer on whether he just slept all night or whether he was fed formula.

Megs1HOTRED · November 2013

I was hooked up to pitocin and an IV right away, so I was in bed with no possibility of moving really. I watched episodes of Grey's Anatomy and tried not to freak out about my husband still being 2 hours away. And I brought my laptop and bumped

I love going back and reading my bump post from that day - it was all so surreal!

sdlaura · November 2013

elf828 said:

Quick question - is a birthing ball something you purchase on your own and bring to the hospital, or do they have them there? I've never heard of this before. I'm off to google it but I figured I'd ask here too.

It's just a yoga ball. You can ask during your hospital tour about whether they have them or you should bring your own.

yhaener · November 2013

With DS I was induced around 4pm and delivered the next morning at 10:40. My husband and I talked, watched TV, surfed the internet until my contractions started getting to the point were I needed to focus (around 8 pm). At sometime between 9 and 10 I received my epidural and then it was pretty much "sleep" time until 7am. I started pushing around 10. I think since so much of my labor was through the night I didn't really need a lot of entertainment.

safora33 · November 2013

With my DS I had only 1 1/2 hrs before I gave birth( after I got to the hospital) - no epi, and it was 12:15 am so it all depends on how fast things are going!

calimama2007 · November 2013

It depends on when you are talking about. In the very beginning when contrax aren't too strong, and are far apart, it is more of an idle waiting game. Once shit gets serious, you are coping with each contraction until it's over, and they get longer/closer together. So that's basically what you are doing, using your tools to get closer to the birth

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