Slow on mobility milestones?

=Lee=B · November 2013

Just curious here...and my daughter is only 8months so by no means lagging in milestones (plus she was a 35weeker so may end up being delayed from that). BUT...has anyone noticed that by being AP their child doesn't always hit the common mobility milestones?

My daughter is 8months, content as can be. I plop her down and she just plays till I move her. If she gets fussy I respond. When she sleeps in her crib she stays in the exact position I put her down in, when she wakes for a feed I respond quickly and feed her.

My friends have a 6.5 and a 7month old and the babies are all over the crib and all over the floor. But...they do CIO and one of them just tends to tune her baby out. So, they seem to move when they are crying and upset and just end up flipping around rolling about. I keep reading about moms that are going bonkers cause their babies are constantly sitting or standing in the crib all night long and crying for help.

I've started to wonder if my daughter would be equally mobile if I didn't respond to her and just left her crying all the time. I DO NOT plan to test that theory but I am now curious!!

My daughter plays independently and wants to do nothing but stand (with support) she is very strong and is happy as can be. I by no means have any concerns and frankly I don't want her mobile as we are just not ready for that. But...I am curious if other mom's AP infants are rolling about and moving around their cribs/beds around 6-9months of age.

mb314 · November 2013

Every baby is different, and will develop at their own pace, no matter what parenting style you choose. DS developed great dexterity early on, crawled about at the average age for crawlers, but is 14 months and still not walking. He would likely be the same way if I had done CIO and didn't baby wear, etc.

I wouldn't say that restless sleeping/moving around the crib is a milestone. I would say that either A) that's just the way those kids sleep or

those kids are moving around at night so much because they want more attention at night. I do notice that DS doesn't move around nearly as much when we co-sleep as he does when he's in his crib. The nights that he is restless when we co-sleep is usually because he doesn't feel well for whatever reason.

somewhereincali · November 2013

I agree that the babies personalities probably has more to do with it.
We responded quickly to all our babies and they were almost NEVER happy to just sit and play before they were mobile. It wasn't until they started moving that they would be happy to play independently, and they worked on moving all the time. Now at over two they almost never sit still

But I have friends with much more chill babies. So I think a large part of it is just each child is different

PhieryBFly · November 2013

My 8 mo old isn't doing much either. She'll roll around a bit and sits excellently but she doesn't care about crawling, cruising, walking or climbing. Mostly, I think it's because she's a very mellow baby. Additionally, I didn't walk until almost 15 months and my husband didn't walk until 13+ months so there may be a genetic component. As that he's a software engineer and I'm an application developer that both do pretty well, I don't think being slow on the mobility milestones is a hindrance to later success. I just roll with it and appreciate that I don't have to chase her around yet!

=Lee=B · November 2013

Ok sounds like it's just a chill baby thing then.

The funny thing is, as a 35 weeker she tends to meet her milestones on her birth age not adjusted age. She can roll both ways, sit independently, rock on hands and knees, stand with support or holding onto furniture. She can do all the typical things...she just doesn't do it after she masters it up and does it one day BAM, practices the next day then doesn't bother anymore. At 4.5 months she realized she could roll both ways, she consecutively rolled across the living room floor. She hasn't rolled once in the 3.5months since...she just plays with her toes or sings away if lying down.

The main thing that got me wondering is that we really need to lower her crib mattress. It's on the highest setting and she's 8 months. We haven't done it yet because she's yet to even roll over in the crib. The fact that she can sit on her own and she can hold a standing position tells me we need to lower it ASAP but she just hasn't done anything to make us do it. So I was wondering if it's because when she wakes she calls me and I go in right away. If I didn't go would she stand up and cry for me? Again I have no interest in trying...I prefer her not knowing she can roll, sit, stand or anything but sleep in the crib. Best she doesn't figure that out until high school.

I'm installing baby gates today because I know she has the ability to be mobile...but it seems kind of funny to be installing them when she's never left her small play area on her own.

She is a very laid back baby though. So I guess she is just content doing her thing.

musicalmama5 · November 2013

A lot of cultures around the world wear their babies almost constantly for the first year, and when baby gets off mom's back, he's walking! So I don't think the two are related.

ncbelle · November 2013

I agree there's no connection. My babies were worn constantly and both were early on motor milestones. Kids just develop at their own paces!

Jbosarge85 · November 2013

Actually I have found that my baby is a little more advanced with milestones. She started crawling a lot earlier then other babies and standing and walking. I think she has more confidence doing things that may seem scary because I am always there for her. But that's just my experience.

neverblushed · November 2013

Lurker and mom of much older kiddos here. Having watched my kids grow and develop over the years, I feel confident saying that motor development in the first year sort of ticks along on a timetable that is internally programmed by the baby's neurology. The influence of that individual timetable on motor milestones in particular is WAY stronger than the influence of your chosen sleep method or even parenting style.

Your friends' babies who have been left to CIO aren't more mobile because they're trying to escape the isolation of their cribs. Nor is your daughter less physically active because you spend a lot of time holding her close.

True story, if you're interested in some veteran parent wisdom:

When I was a mom of just one child, my DD, I was so earnest. I really believed, with the intensity of a thousand white-hot suns, that my parenting was the make-it-or-break-it factor in all of my daughter's developments. If she did anything right, it was all because of my clever and well-informed parenting. I reveled in my own awesomeness. If she was the least bit behind, it was clearly my fault and the result of my weakness as a parent. I have no doubt that this made me an insufferable PITA to be around.

Enter, four years later, my DS. Initially, I subjected him to the same earnest intensity. This time, I knew what I was doing! There would be no mistakes. Shockingly, even with the same parenting, my DS was just... different in many ways. Even though I did a lot of things the same way he responded differently. She was a pacifier addict; he rejected it at 10 weeks. She hated being swaddled; he still wraps himself in a cocoon of blankets to this day. They said their first word at exactly the same age. She went on to acquire a few new words a week until she was a chatterbox. Once my son learned to walk, he stopped learning new words entirely for several months while he explored his new world. She has never to this day managed to keep track of her shoes. He ALWAYS puts his shoes in their spot with left shoe on the left and right shoe on the right.

I finally realized that, although my parenting was certainly creating a safe, healthy, warm, loving environment for my kids, I wasn't responsible for every single thing they did. I needed to stop taking credit for the things that they did naturally. And I also needed to take their limitations in stride and not feel so responsible for their struggles. Whew! What a relief!

So, step forward with confidence in your parenting method. Be informed about your choices, be honest with yourself in your analysis of your parenting, but keep it in perspective. The child is a huge factor in the child's own development. She's the star and the director; you're the stage manager.

KateLouise · November 2013

Every baby is different. I've always responded quickly to both my girls, and never had a real problem with them standing up in their cots, but maybe that's perception. In that yes, they both sat up, crawled, and stood up in their cots but that didn't bother me. If they got upset, I went to them.

DD1 was very mobile early on or physically confident, but DD2 was walking at 10mths. So yeah every baby is different.

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2013

I raised both my kids ap. one walked at 8.5 months, the other at 14.5 months. I do think mobility can be affected if you're literally wearing your kid in a carrier all day and not giving them ample opportunities for floor play. I'm pretty sure that's not what ap do though (or at least I hope they don't).

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