Intro/Still can't believe it... (Long..sorry)

rwkimmons · November 2013

Let me first introduce myself. My name is Rachel and I'm a 22 yo senior in college. I met the man of my dreams (or atleast I thought I did...another story for another day. We're still in love with each other but not in a dating relationship at this current moment) 2 years ago. We unexpectedly got pregnant in April (definitely not a planned thing) and our due date was January 20. We were nervous and anxious at first but then we got excited and ready to start this new journey ahead of us. Due to his family and their starting drama...it led to a lot of stress and my SO and I slowly tearing apart due to everything his family was saying and doing. His support has not been the greatest which leads me to the sad news. We lost our precious son almost 2 weeks ago. And to make matters worse, I've been dealing with it alone...my SO has been gone and I haven't been able to make contact with him to be able to tell him. And partly too because he never answers when I call or text him so I'm waiting for him to finally contact me. It's been very hard and definitely a struggle to process all of this alone.

Tonight I have officially hit rock bottom! By now I would have cried enough tears that I would have fallen asleep but the tears keep coming and thinking about everything is keeping me up. Lately it's been trying to get through hour by hour. One minute I'm in tears and the next I'm angry...and no I promise I'm not crazy lol. I'm at the point I don't know where to turn.

Sorry it is such a long post...but so thankful for the support and encouragement that I have and still continuing to receive from this board!

AJCagle82 · November 2013

I am so so sorry for what you're going through. Loss is hard enough, but it seems to be compounded for you with unnecessary drama. I'm glad you've found your way to this board. It isn't a place that anyone wants to welcome new members, but I hope you find the same support I have. There are so many times it feels like I'm going crazy. You are definitely not alone in that department. I hope you find some peace during this time. I'm sorry you feel you're going through it alone. Please use us as much as you need!

Noethola · November 2013

***Siggy warning***

Please lean on us as much as you can. Is your family being supportive of you? Do you have counselors at school you can access?

I am so very sorry for your loss. The devastation would definitely be compounded having to face so many things and decisions without a good support system. I am so very sorry you are going through all of this.

rwkimmons · November 2013

Noethola said:
***Siggy warning***

Please lean on us as much as you can. Is your family being supportive of you? Do you have counselors at school you can access?

I am so very sorry for your loss. The devastation would definitely be compounded having to face so many things and decisions without a good support system. I am so very sorry you are going through all of this.

My family has not been involved in this pregnancy. I'm not near them (distance wise) and we never got the chance to them. His family only found out 2 months ago. It's been a crazy whirlwind to say the least.

kz's_girlygirl · November 2013

I am so so sorry you are going through this!! Adding relationship strain on top of a devestating loss is just awful. I am so sorry.

I am not near my family either (they are 4 hours way, so at least driving distance.) and having my mom stay with us for a week after Jesse died really helped me. Would it be possible for you to go home or have someone stay with you for a little while? I know school schedules can really be tough to work around

I am so sorry you haven't been able to get in contact with your SO during this time. I hope you can soon, so at least you can share the news with him and have some closure in that regard.

Please know that you are not alone, even though it definitely might feel like that at times. You are in my thoughts, and I hope you can find some peace in the weeks and months ahead.

mingaling2 · November 2013

I am so sorry to hear about your loss and your struggles right now. Please know you can come here for support. Would you be willing to talk to a counselor on campus if you can't get home?

BrittianyM · November 2013

So very sorry for the loss of you sweet baby boy. Its not fair that you are having to deal with any of this. We are all here for you when ever you need us.

bunnybun4 · November 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine having to deal with relationship issues on top of the devastation you are already going thru. I really hope you have some friends or family that you can reach out to to help you thru this time. We are all here for you. ((HUGS))

VyD81 · November 2013

I'm sorry for the loss of your son. I hope you have someone to reach out to. All the ladies on this board are very understanding and we're here for you. Hugs.

rwkimmons · November 2013

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support!! My plan is to go see my SO on Thursday and tell him. He'll be at work so I will obviously wait until he gets his break or gets off (he works on a state park and lives there as well). Other than showing up I have no idea what I'm going to say or how to say it. I can definitely feel the stress and emotions coming back just thinking about telling him. Please just keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week as I prepare myself to tell him!

Y'all are absolutely amazing!

schulme2 · November 2013

I am so sorry to welcome you but hope you find some comfort. I can't imagine how hard it must be to not be able to get in contact with your SO in addition to all the drama. Hope everything else comes together so you can start to heal.

OSUWifey09 · November 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

I'm so, so sorry for your loss and that you have so much going on right now. I wish I had some good advice to pass on; just know that we are here for you and that you can turn to us whenever. I hope that your visit to see your SO goes as well as it can; keeping you in my thoughts, for sure. **HUGS**

JessicaG220 · November 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. You have found a place full of wonderfully supportive women. We are always here if you need to share! I hope things improve in the days ahead. Time truly does heal. Lots of hugs!!!

Dixon813 · November 2013

~~Siggy Warning~~

So very sorry for your loss. And that you have to deal with additional stress on top of everything. Know that this board offers a lot of support and is here however and whenever you need it. Sending prayers for tomorrow...

Again, so sorry for your loss.

stefuge · November 2013

I am so sorry for your loss, not to mention all the extra drama. Please know you are not alone and the ladies on here are incredibly supportive and encouraging, and we are here for you. I hope your visit with your SO goes as well as possible and I agree with PP that it might be helpful to either have family come stay or go home for a visit? Also about counseling - I have found that to be so helpful, a safe place with someone who will be there and listen. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ((Hugs))

Intro/Still can't believe it... (Long..sorry)

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