we had a rough weekend.

Holly_1007 · November 2013

We had SD for a 3 day weekend this weekend due to the holiday. This morning I went into the bathroom after she was done using it and was overwhelmed with the smell of urine. I looked into the toilet and SD had forgotten to flush. her urine was so dark and cloudy I immediately called to my husband to come look at it. At first we thought there was something wrong with her kidneys and were trying to figure out the logistics of bringing her to the hospital. We asked SD if her stomach hurt at all and she said no. I went to fill up her water bottle before she left and realized it was still full. I asked DH if he had just filled it. he said he hadn'tfilled it since sunday morning. I told him I hadn't filled it either. we made SD drink 2 full bottles of water and then sat down to talk with her. She was ridiculously dehydrated. She drinks 6+ capri suns a day at her moms house and no longer 'likes' water. I'm a bit on the crunchy side and will openly admit I have never bought a capri sun for any of the kids. there is no juice in our house. I knowwe can't change what goes on at BM's house. but How do we get SD to like water again? We had to coach her to keep drinking all day (after calling the pedi who said to give her more water and check her urine in a few hours) DH also had a conversation with BM about his concerns and she has said basically to F off, she is going to do whatever is easier for her and that is capri suns. He told her about the recent capri sun recall and she assured him he was full of shit.

Besides the obvious passive aggressive approach that I want to take where I email her all the studies on water vs. juice, capri sun mold recalls etc, does anyone else have any suggestions? and no, I won't actually do that as much as I want to lol

joshsmandy · November 2013

I have bought those koolaid pouches or even crystal light packets so that my SD would drink water but have if have some flavor. Good luck

Holly_1007 · November 2013

I also should have added that I would really prefer NOT to introduce juice into my house. If my other children see my SD drinking them, then they will want them and I would rather not open that can of worms, but thank you for the suggestion @joshsmandy

xmaryrickx · November 2013

Add some fresh fruit to the water. There are a million and one different variations she is bound to like a few.
https://www.52kitchenadventures.com/2012/09/17/fifty-awesome-flavored-water-recipes/

fellesferie · November 2013

DS doesn't like water; it's not DD's favorite, but she drinks it. My kids drink milk with meals. Sometimes they'll have powerade or apple juice cut with water and in a cup full of ice. They'll also drink Fruitables if I need something portable.

To be honest with you, I think you sending that email would only make things worse. If I got an email from my XH or his gf telling me water is better than juice, I would send one back about the dangers of dehydration.

What suggestions do you want? It's your house, and if you only want to offer water, then only offer water. Don't tell BM what to do in her house; not only do you know it's pointless, but it's overstepping.

Holly_1007 · November 2013

great idea, thanks @xmaryrickx !
@fellesferie I wouldn't actually send that e-mail (as I stated in the OP) for the reasons that you stated. No one told BM what to do in her house (as I said in the OP) DH just had a discussion with her about SD refusing water and dehydrating herself.
I guess I was looking for a suggestion like mary's, and to make sure that I'm not an evil stepmother if I continue to only serve water to her. She did drink her water bottle when prompted by us, but we had to continue to remind her all afternoon. Guess we will just monitor it more closely. She does drink milk with every meal at our house at least. I'm not sure how much milk she is drinking at BM's.

xmaryrickx · November 2013

Also fruit/herbal teas, that are calorie and caffeine free might be a good alternative. Some are very naturally sweet, or a small amount of honey or stevia are good alternatives.

CFjo2010 · November 2013

We have an infusion pitcher and it has made things easier with K. It has a tube in it that I fill with strawberries, lemons, raspberries, etc and it adds some flavor to the water. We don't have juice in our house either, and we've fought the battle you're dealing with now. It sucks but I can tell you it eventually gets easier.

hopanka · November 2013

Sometimes squeezing some lemon or cut up orange will give the water enough flavor for kids to drink it better. Since you don't want juice in your house, this is probably not a suggestion you will take, but since DS doesn't like plain water either, I dilute it with organic OJ or AJ about 1 part juice, 3 parts water....basically very dilluted juice, or slightly flavored water - depending which way you're looking at it.

twister22 · November 2013

CFjo2010 said:

We have an infusion pitcher and it has made things easier with K. It has a tube in it that I fill with strawberries, lemons, raspberries, etc and it adds some flavor to the water. We don't have juice in our house either, and we've fought the battle you're dealing with now. It sucks but I can tell you it eventually gets easier.

This.

SD will adjust to the fact that at BM's house there's juice, but at your house there's not. Unfortunately with you guys only having her EOWE the acceptance on her end may take more time, but it will happen.

Littlejen22 · November 2013

Can people please stop comparing Powerade, Kool-Aid and most Capri Sun to juice. Real juice might not be the healthiest thing but it is not bad for you. Most Capri Sun, Powerade and Kool-Aid is processed crap. And yes I let my kids drink that stuff sometimes if we are out but it is crap and not juice. I would cut apple juice in water before I would mix chemicals in it. For myself I really love blending (like with a hand blender) overripe raspberries in it. A few raspberries will make the water bright pink/red too.

JessH1474 · November 2013

The hard part is that she's not used to water and she's getting the exact opposite at BM's, so it's defintely going to take some time for her to catch on at your house. Maybe set a goal for her, like she needs to drink 4 bottles of water by the end of the day or something. Maybe if you make a game of it to start, she'll catch on and eventually won't need to be reminded. We have SS EOWE also and are Paleo eaters. Considering he gets fast food and take out most night at BM's, he isn't exactly thrilled when we have meat and veggies for dinner and things like fruit or nuts for snacks and he gets a big glass of ice water for dinner. He may not love it, but it is what it is.

Holly_1007 · November 2013

thank you all for the suggestions! I have never heard of an infusion pitcher, I will definitely be showing that to DH tonight. We do get SD every week, but you are right it is going to take time. DH and I sat down and talked last night and we need to communicate more about when we are refilling the water bottle. I feel awful but we came to the conclusion that this might have been going on for a little while. She drinks milk with her meals, so we would see her drink that, but she just wouldn't drink the water and chug capri sun when she got back to her moms. Great idea with turning it into a game!

SueBear · November 2013

Maybe she would like "fizzy" (seltzer) water instead? I mix a little bit of OJ or cranberry juice with seltzer, because I'm not a fan of plain water myself (or you might try to mix it with lemonade).

Or try iced tea made out of herbal tea...they have lots of flavors and it's as easy as heating the water in the microwave and adding ice.

I would give my kids 100% juice before I gave them crystal light...I'm not a fan of the chemicals.

Nineoceans · November 2013

My SS says he eats pizza rolls or McDonald's every day at his mom's. Do I judge? Yes absolutely but it's just one of those "this isn't my kid" moments.

I also think it's fine for SD to have different rules then your own kids. I struggled with this for the longest but ultimately life isn't fair. It's a blessing to learn that early in life versus later and ultimately one day your kids will have a friend with a parent who let's them chug Capri sun so you will have these discussions eventually

KTdidit · November 2013

I second (third? fourth?) all the suggestions about adding real fruit to the water, that is the only way that I can keep up with as much water as I'm supposed to be drinking. Also, maybe give her smaller amounts of water with a lot of ice more often. Iced cold water "tastes" better than warm water.

CurlieWhirlie · November 2013

Fizzy water has been a huge hit at our house, but I get that it can be cost-prohibitive since you have to buy it and it doesn't just come out of the tap.

We buy organic juice and fill a cup a quarter full with the juice, and then fill it the rest of the way with fizzy water or regular water. I agree with PP, you can't paint all juice with the same brush. It's not all CapriSun and Powerade.

YummyChef · November 2013

Try naturally fruit flavored/infused waters and buy a fizzy water pump (available at Amazon). There are recipes on pinterest.

Ilumine · November 2013

We do fruit infused fizzy waters. The best purchase ever was out soda stream.

sprky79 · November 2013

What about smoothies? Banana, berry, pineapple, etc. and some yogurt and ice?

sprky79 · November 2013

Also, frozen fruit bars, almond milk, watered down juice, seltzer, etc.

More than one way to skin a cat here.

nattyncbride · November 2013

I'm sorry things aren't consistent between households! That's frustrating.

I'm in the minority; if this were truly a hydration issue, I agree with everyone. But since you are more aware now, and she drinks her water when prompted, then I say keep giving her regular ole water. She will get used to it. And sure, once she's in a groove, she'll go back to moms and get crap to drink, and you'll have to start over again. But she will get back in the groove at your house too, esp. considering you are all modeling the behavior (your LOs are not drinking soda, etc).

Again, in the minority, but all this stuff that makes water fun: fruit, carbonation, it's good b/c its low calorie, but I think it's a gateway to soda, powerade, lemonade, etc. You'll continue to crave all those drinks. Like drinking diet soda.

My parents were first generation, so they didn't think twice about never having soda, and Koolaid was definitely the devil; my mom was convinced that's what made kids hyper and overweight, and clearly she was onto something. I resented the fact that, unlike other kids, we had 2 choices: milk or water (we did get juice in the AM). But to this day, I don't drink soda.

I know I grew up in an intact family that was consistent, so no comparison. But your household is consistent (it's not like you and LOs are downing a soda while telling SD she can't) so I think that will rub off on her. And if anyone says 'OMG, you have not gone through anything like this so have no idea, you are so naive', I can see that. I just thought I'd throw in one voice that says: if she's drinking it sometimes, then she knows plain water is damn good- no need for all the embellishments!

Ilumine · November 2013

While I do agree with Natty that you do what works in your house and ignore the whining, I have to disagree with fizzy water being a gateway drug to sodas.

ALL of Europe drink Fizzy water. The default is fizzy water at restaurants (you pay for your water no matter what - there is no free tap water).

The Europeans do not drink massive amounts of sodas and they and their children understand the difference. In fact it helps with digestion and constipation; your LDL, HDL and Cholesteral levels.

All of the "negative" theories about carbonated water, such as interfering with calcium absorption has nothing to do with the carbonation and everything to do with the soda. The only issue could be added gas.

So just like any other food (I mean banana and berries are sweet but you do not call those gateway foods to candy do you?) it is how you present it.

nevertune · November 2013

Our choices for beverages are water and milk. If we eat out, the kids are allowed a non-caffeinated soda or lemonade. My husband and I just don't drink soda or juice, so we don't buy them. My step-son is 9 and drinks caffeinated soda and who knows what else at his mom's. He'd get headaches every weekend he stayed with us until we told him about caffeine headaches and how he was unknowingly addicted. He just didn't know that and has cut out most of the caffeinated drinks at his mom's on his own. One day the kids mentioned how I always drink water. That got on a discussion about how water flushes out all the bad stuff from your body, helps you get better from being sick, and is pretty much the healthiest thing you can put in your body. (I know; very broad statements, but I didn't want to get too in-depth with a 9 and a 6 year old. I pretty much made water sound like a miracle cure for everything.) They just honestly didn't know. Both of the kids have started asking for water over milk, even in restaurants. I don't know how old your step-daughter is, but maybe just explaining how water affects the body versus how sugar drinks affect the body might make a light bulb go off. *shrug*

SueBear · November 2013

I drink fizzy water and rarely (almost never) drink soda. I don't believe sparkling water is a gateway.

Someone once told me kids shouldn't have non-alcoholic sparkling lemonade on holidays, because it is just a gateway to alcohol (teaching them to celebrate with a special drink). Are you f'n kidding me? I shake my head at some of these thoeries....

xmaryrickx · November 2013

nattyncbride said:
I'm sorry things aren't consistent between households! That's frustrating.

I'm in the minority; if this were truly a hydration issue, I agree with everyone. But since you are more aware now, and she drinks her water when prompted, then I say keep giving her regular ole water. She will get used to it. And sure, once she's in a groove, she'll go back to moms and get crap to drink, and you'll have to start over again. But she will get back in the groove at your house too, esp. considering you are all modeling the behavior (your LOs are not drinking soda, etc).

Again, in the minority, but all this stuff that makes water fun: fruit, carbonation, it's good b/c its low calorie, but I think it's a gateway to soda, powerade, lemonade, etc. You'll continue to crave all those drinks. Like drinking diet soda.

My parents were first generation, so they didn't think twice about never having soda, and Koolaid was definitely the devil; my mom was convinced that's what made kids hyper and overweight, and clearly she was onto something. I resented the fact that, unlike other kids, we had 2 choices: milk or water (we did get juice in the AM). But to this day, I don't drink soda.

I just thought I'd throw in one voice that says: if she's drinking it sometimes, then she knows plain water is damn good- no need for all the embellishments!

Please. Not everyone likes water, no matter how much you force it on them. This little girl might just be one of them. She was dangerously dehydrated. That is not healthy. Or ok. And nagging a kid allll day long everyday isn't fun for anyone (and sometimes there is no avoiding it). Drinking water with fresh fruit is not a gateway drug FFS. it's a healthy way to encourage drinking water. I would not give kids powdered water mixers or soda, I am not ok with what are in them. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with fresh fruit and water.

nattyncbride · November 2013

I hear @Illumine and @SueBear. I don't know that I believe in all gateways (bananas=sweet=candy, or sparkling lemonade=fizzy=champagne), and you can call that hypocritical (that I'm not taking my logic and applying it in every area)- you got me there. I just think: the kid drinks water. Let it be. Don't buy a machine, don't feel the need to flavor it. Don't go nuts trying to make tap water appealing when she already drinks it.

And I'm not sure what they are doing in Europe, but they are doing it right. I don't think we can compare European health to US health. Maybe it's moderation, or the fact that Europeans are much less sedentary, but they don't have the childhood obesity they we have in the US. I am sincerely sickened by it, thus sensitive to anything that makes kids want soda/junk (in the US). I guess that's my rub. Stop acting like flat water needs anything! Don't do anything that's going to make soda more appealing, (US) society does a good enough job of that! In this case, SD is drinking water. Great. End of story.

However, I don't have blinders on. If this continues to be an issue for OP's SD, then I totally agree that these are great suggestions to ward off dehydration.

dmndsr4eva · November 2013

I am sorry that happened. I have really no advice because I gave up a long time ago in worrying about what my son eats and drinks at his fathers house. His dad won't communicate with me so I have had to accept that my son will not eat or drink healthy like I wanted him to. Even at my house I have had to become much more lienient so that my son will actually eat and drink. I used to be like you and not have juice or sweets but I just gave up. My FI also is a coke drinker and kool aid drinker and in the beginning I tried to get him to not drink it around my son but he still does so I even occasionally give my son coke or kool aid. I figure he won't die from it. I know he isn't getting the best nutrition like I wish he was but he is still healthy and doing fine.

KTdidit · November 2013

nattyncbride said:

I hear @Illumine and @SueBear. I don't know that I believe in all gateways (bananas=sweet=candy, or sparkling lemonade=fizzy=champagne), and you can call that hypocritical (that I'm not taking my logic and applying it in every area)- you got me there. I just think: the kid drinks water. Let it be. Don't buy a machine, don't feel the need to flavor it. Don't go nuts trying to make tap water appealing when she already drinks it.

And I'm not sure what they are doing in Europe, but they are doing it right. I don't think we can compare European health to US health. Maybe it's moderation, or the fact that Europeans are much less sedentary, but they don't have the childhood obesity they we have in the US. I am sincerely sickened by it, thus sensitive to anything that makes kids want soda/junk (in the US). I guess that's my rub. Stop acting like flat water needs anything! Don't do anything that's going to make soda more appealing, (US) society does a good enough job of that! In this case, SD is drinking water. Great. End of story.

However, I don't have blinders on. If this continues to be an issue for OP's SD, then I totally agree that these are great suggestions to ward off dehydration.

But the problem is she DOESN'T drink it, unless OP is on her butt about it constantly.

Ilumine · November 2013

nattyncbride said:

I hear @Illumine and @SueBear. I don't know that I believe in all gateways (bananas=sweet=candy, or sparkling lemonade=fizzy=champagne), and you can call that hypocritical (that I'm not taking my logic and applying it in every area)- you got me there. I just think: the kid drinks water. Let it be. Don't buy a machine, don't feel the need to flavor it. Don't go nuts trying to make tap water appealing when she already drinks it.

And I'm not sure what they are doing in Europe, but they are doing it right. I don't think we can compare European health to US health. Maybe it's moderation, or the fact that Europeans are much less sedentary, but they don't have the childhood obesity they we have in the US. I am sincerely sickened by it, thus sensitive to anything that makes kids want soda/junk (in the US). I guess that's my rub. Stop acting like flat water needs anything! Don't do anything that's going to make soda more appealing, (US) society does a good enough job of that! In this case, SD is drinking water. Great. End of story.

However, I don't have blinders on. If this continues to be an issue for OP's SD, then I totally agree that these are great suggestions to ward off dehydration.

So what is so wrong with wanting a little flavor in your water? I mean we put salt, pepper, herbs and spices in our foods to make those more palatable, right? So unless you are eating straight chicken and brown rice for dinner then it is a bit hypocritical to say that people, even little children should default to bland, tasteless water JUST BECAUSE.

And to honestly believe that fizzy water or water with some apple or orange slices is going to cause a child to demand colas vs (I don't know) wanting more flavorful waters shows a lack of respect for your child or crap parenting.

yep, I said it. Your children learn what you teach them. So which is harder for a parent to do - force plain water or giving them some healthy alternatives and teach them about proper nutrition and moderation.

And gasp, my DD actually DOES drink plane water out of the tap without being forced. But if she feels like some fizzy water or having a squirt of lemon or lime in her plane water I will give it to her because she, at almost 5, is allowed to have some preferences.

sprky79 · November 2013

Again, in the minority, but all this stuff that makes water fun: fruit, carbonation, it's good b/c its low calorie, but I think it's a gateway to soda, powerade, lemonade, etc. You'll continue to crave all those drinks. Like drinking diet soda.

I'm sorry, but the concept of FRUIT as a gateway to peril is pretty darn laughable.

Lavender P · November 2013

nattyncbride said:

I'm sorry things aren't consistent between households! That's frustrating.

I'm in the minority; if this were truly a hydration issue, I agree with everyone. But since you are more aware now, and she drinks her water when prompted, then I say keep giving her regular ole water. She will get used to it. And sure, once she's in a groove, she'll go back to moms and get crap to drink, and you'll have to start over again. But she will get back in the groove at your house too, esp. considering you are all modeling the behavior (your LOs are not drinking soda, etc).

Again, in the minority, but all this stuff that makes water fun: fruit, carbonation, it's good b/c its low calorie, but I think it's a gateway to soda, powerade, lemonade, etc. You'll continue to crave all those drinks. Like drinking diet soda.

My parents were first generation, so they didn't think twice about never having soda, and Koolaid was definitely the devil; my mom was convinced that's what made kids hyper and overweight, and clearly she was onto something. I resented the fact that, unlike other kids, we had 2 choices: milk or water (we did get juice in the AM). But to this day, I don't drink soda.

I know I grew up in an intact family that was consistent, so no comparison. But your household is consistent (it's not like you and LOs are downing a soda while telling SD she can't) so I think that will rub off on her. And if anyone says 'OMG, you have not gone through anything like this so have no idea, you are so naive', I can see that. I just thought I'd throw in one voice that says: if she's drinking it sometimes, then she knows plain water is damn good- no need for all the embellishments!

I'm a first generation immigrant and my parents gave us everything in moderation. No one in my family has ever had obesity or health issues relating to food. Do you seriously think a little kid that never has anything but water is going to grow up and only drink that? Most likely they will do the opposite because that is what happens when your parents are too strict.

ambrvan · November 2013

I just have to say, Wow, I never knew I was so poisoned and that I was running my kids futures! First caprisuns and then juvenile detention! Oh why did I succumb to the hype? Maybe I could have saved them from their path of darkness!

Ok, sorry, I couldn't resist. Somebody smack my hand.

I agree with LavenderP about moderation. I well deny things, of course, that I know will seriously harm them or any person in general. But if a moderate amount balances with a variety of other choices, then I would rather teach them how to handle healthy choices that way because they will one day have to choose without you to curtail them.

But otherwise, it's your house, your rules. I think it's kind of ridiculous, but I don't see what the debate is. If you only want to offer water and milk, only offer water and milk. And if you have to encourage her to drink, is it really any different than having to encourage a kid to brush their teeth everyday when they don't want to and won't do so without reminding?

nattyncbride · November 2013

I have an unpopular opinion. I hear your comments and see where the majority of you are coming from. I do stand by my original comment: if she's drinking it sometimes, then she knows plain water is damn good- no need for all the embellishments. I also stand by: If this continues to be an issue for OP's SD, then I totally agree that these are great suggestions to ward off dehydration.

There wasn't much moderation in my life growing up, and I'm not suggesting it's anything other than anecdotal evidence, but it has served me well when it comes to diet and exercise. I won't be/am not as strict on DS as my parents were in some areas, but its hard for me to see the fault in how they raised me in this area. That is NOT to say doing it differently is wrong. I, like everyone else here, am drawing conclusions from personal experiences and using those experiences to comment.

I agree (hey, we all can learn from others right?) that 'gateway' was too strong a statement. Point taken. If I offended anyone or make anyone feel defensive, I apologize. Clumsy verbiage on my part, as that certainly was not the point.

I do appreciate the debate; my first reaction was defensiveness when others didn't agree with me (and I would say that's the majority sentiment!), but you have seriously given me some things to think about.

mrsgyaray · November 2013

xmaryrickx said:

Add some fresh fruit to the water. There are a million and one different variations she is bound to like a few. https://www.52kitchenadventures.com/2012/09/17/fifty-awesome-flavored-water-recipes/

THIS...And then it's fair and super delicious for everyone!

suburbanstepmom · December 2013

I don't have any new (or super awesome) suggestions as I'm very blessed and SS asks for water all the time. With that being said neither DH or I drink Soda, and I do not drink juice since it's too acidic for my sensitive tummy - so I think he's just adapted over time to plain water. Which makes the PP saying to just stick with your course and give her regular water is pretty good if that's what you want to do.

I just wanted to leave a note and say how, albeit kind of gross and awkward, lucky it was the she didn't flush the toilet! I can only imagine the terrible turn of events if you hadn't of found out how dehydrated she had gotten.

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