How to get 13 mo. old to sleep w/o us in the room?

dpraseutsinh · November 2013

Every time we put DD down for a nap/sleep, she fusses and cries uncontrollably if we leave the room! She HAS to have someone stay in the room with her when she sleeps. How can I get her to sleep on her own without us in there? Any advice would be great, thanks.

Starbear06 · November 2013

Was this just a recent occurance or has it always been this way? My DS never had an issue to sleep on his own when we put him in his crib until a few weeks ago and he's 16 months. It's like separation anxiety at bedtime and he doesn't want us to leave his room. I'm just going with it because I'm hoping its just a phase. Oh and I forgot to mention that he also wakes up at least 1x or 2x a night now crying for us.

singingirl96 · November 2013

you probably created this habit by being in her room until she slept, now she has come to expect it and require it.

Some may not agree with me, but I would break this habit by letting her CIO. When we sleep trained our son, we came in to check on him after 2 minutes, then 3, then 5, then 8.... Each time increasing the intervals of crying. The first night he was asleep in 20 minutes, the next night after that, about 10... and has been sleeping like a champ since. It works. You may want to try it.

tamararachel2 · November 2013

Starbear06 said:

Was this just a recent occurance or has it always been this way? My DS never had an issue to sleep on his own when we put him in his crib until a few weeks ago and he's 16 months. It's like separation anxiety at bedtime and he doesn't want us to leave his room. I'm just going with it because I'm hoping its just a phase. Oh and I forgot to mention that he also wakes up at least 1x or 2x a night now crying for us.

What do you do for your LO when he wakes in the middle of the night? We're in an issue right now where he goes down fine, but is up in the middle of the night and NOTHING will make him happy except sleeping in our bed.

jnnfrrose6 · November 2013

singingirl96 said:

you probably created this habit by being in her room until she slept, now she has come to expect it and require it.

Some may not agree with me, but I would break this habit by letting her CIO. When we sleep trained our son, we came in to check on him after 2 minutes, then 3, then 5, then 8.... Each time increasing the intervals of crying. The first night he was asleep in 20 minutes, the next night after that, about 10... and has been sleeping like a champ since. It works. You may want to try it.

This is a much nicer way to say what I was going to. Basically, you need to give your kid a chance to learn that it's ok to go to sleep without you in the room. We did the same thing for DS when he woke in the middle of the night, too.

Starbear06 · November 2013

tamararachel2 said:

Starbear06 said:

Was this just a recent occurance or has it always been this way? My DS never had an issue to sleep on his own when we put him in his crib until a few weeks ago and he's 16 months. It's like separation anxiety at bedtime and he doesn't want us to leave his room. I'm just going with it because I'm hoping its just a phase. Oh and I forgot to mention that he also wakes up at least 1x or 2x a night now crying for us.

What do you do for your LO when he wakes in the middle of the night? We're in an issue right now where he goes down fine, but is up in the middle of the night and NOTHING will make him happy except sleeping in our bed.

We go in and give him his paci if he doesn't already have it. Then rub/pat his back and tell him it's night night time. Sometimes we wait until he falls back asleep and sometimes we walk out after that. When it first started happening and I was super tired I brought him to bed with us but it turned out to be a disaster because he was up and wanted to play instead. So I never brought him to our bed after that.

Mrs.RockyM · November 2013

singingirl96 said:

you probably created this habit by being in her room until she slept, now she has come to expect it and require it.

Some may not agree with me, but I would break this habit by letting her CIO. When we sleep trained our son, we came in to check on him after 2 minutes, then 3, then 5, then 8.... Each time increasing the intervals of crying. The first night he was asleep in 20 minutes, the next night after that, about 10... and has been sleeping like a champ since. It works. You may want to try it.

I agree. This is my version of cry it out too. DD cries nightly when we put her in her room, but she's usually out in 15 or so minutes max. It's not that she wants us there, it's that she doesn't want to go to sleep. Your LO has to just learn that it's bed time.

anna&jl2011 · November 2013

My DS (18 months old) is the same way. I would rock him to sleep, lay him in the crib, and he would sleep 30 mins then wanted to get in our bed. After posting a question on here, someone recommended the sleep sense program. I ended up paying $19.00 for the ebook and starting doing the program 6 nights ago. There are 2 different methods. I'm doing the staying in the room one. In all honestly, it has been rough. some nights I felt like I didn't get any sleep because I was up so much. Last night was by far the best night sleep by 8, up at 11:45, went right back to sleep, then up again at 5:00 am for the day. Even though, I have been totally exhausted i'm trying to stick to it, in hopes that he will sleep much better.

dpraseutsinh · November 2013

singingirl96 said:

you probably created this habit by being in her room until she slept, now she has come to expect it and require it.

Some may not agree with me, but I would break this habit by letting her CIO. When we sleep trained our son, we came in to check on him after 2 minutes, then 3, then 5, then 8.... Each time increasing the intervals of crying. The first night he was asleep in 20 minutes, the next night after that, about 10... and has been sleeping like a champ since. It works. You may want to try it.

Youre absolutely right. I didnt even mean for it to happen. We still live with dh's parents' house and we all share a room unfortunately. We all go to bed around the same time and it seems we accidentally created the habit. Im going to try this method. Thanks!!

tamararachel2 · November 2013

Nicb13 said:

tamararachel2 said:

Starbear06 said:

Was this just a recent occurance or has it always been this way? My DS never had an issue to sleep on his own when we put him in his crib until a few weeks ago and he's 16 months. It's like separation anxiety at bedtime and he doesn't want us to leave his room. I'm just going with it because I'm hoping its just a phase. Oh and I forgot to mention that he also wakes up at least 1x or 2x a night now crying for us.

What do you do for your LO when he wakes in the middle of the night? We're in an issue right now where he goes down fine, but is up in the middle of the night and NOTHING will make him happy except sleeping in our bed.

DS did this for a short period of time and would stop crying the second I picked him up then wouldn't let go of me. I chalked it up to separation anxiety. I would put him back in bed, rub his head, talk to him then leave the room. Of course he would start screaming so I'd give him a few minutes, then go back in, reassure him, then leave again. Seemed to work and he doesn't wake up crying anymore.

I guess I need to start this. I'm debating on starting it now or if I should wait....he's cutting molars on top and bottom. He gets Motrin before bed but I think it's only mildly helping as he's always rubbing his gums with his fingers.

ktpaladino · November 2013

tamararachel2 said:

Nicb13 said:

tamararachel2 said:

Starbear06 said:

Was this just a recent occurance or has it always been this way? My DS never had an issue to sleep on his own when we put him in his crib until a few weeks ago and he's 16 months. It's like separation anxiety at bedtime and he doesn't want us to leave his room. I'm just going with it because I'm hoping its just a phase. Oh and I forgot to mention that he also wakes up at least 1x or 2x a night now crying for us.

What do you do for your LO when he wakes in the middle of the night? We're in an issue right now where he goes down fine, but is up in the middle of the night and NOTHING will make him happy except sleeping in our bed.

DS did this for a short period of time and would stop crying the second I picked him up then wouldn't let go of me. I chalked it up to separation anxiety. I would put him back in bed, rub his head, talk to him then leave the room. Of course he would start screaming so I'd give him a few minutes, then go back in, reassure him, then leave again. Seemed to work and he doesn't wake up crying anymore.

I guess I need to start this. I'm debating on starting it now or if I should wait....he's cutting molars on top and bottom. He gets Motrin before bed but I think it's only mildly helping as he's always rubbing his gums with his fingers.

You shouldn't ever attempt any kind of sleep training, especially CIO methods, when they are sick or teething. Wait until his molars are in and then give it a go! ETA: this could also explain his night waking at the moment.

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