April 2013 Moms

Anyone else thinking about their next child...

Okay, so my daughter is 7 months old now.  My H and I have just started talking about when we want to try for our 2nd.  Though, I think I am more ready at least to talk/ponder the idea than my husband.  He remembers those sleepless nights and the fussiness-daughter wasn't the easiest.   We want to start trying around the same time frame as our 1st as I work for a school.  So it worked out great having her in April and then having the rest of the summer off before returning to work in mid August.   So we are trying to decide if we want to try this summer or wait till next.  I am 30 so I don't want to wait too long to start trying for our 2nd.  Plus I worry about the what ifs with problems conceiving or babies health.   Anyone think there would be a big difference between having a newborn and a 2 or 3 year old.  Or anything else you think I need to consider? 

Re: Anyone else thinking about their next child...

  • I am in the exact same boat as you. I am a teacher and it worked perfectly, so we will either start trying for #2 this summer or next summer. We're still talking about it. I am 27 so it's not a rush, but I want our kids to be fairly close in age.
    Amanda

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  • Hmm... I only have my little one and am still too sleepy to consider baby number 2 yet! But I am a teacher so I definitely understand why APRIL is a perfect time for having you're next little one. Not sure if there are any huge differences between waiting 2 or 3 years. Will baby #1 be potty trained yet? Is childcare cheaper as your little one gets older? Do you and your hubby need some QT before baby #2 arrives? That's all I can think of, lol. Good luck!
  • I don't think so. I think it's really just a personal opinion and what works for you. My brother and I are 13 months apart and I love it. There are 6 kids in our family. The oldest being 32, youngest 23.
    We will be trying for baby number 2 very soon. My DH is 7 years older than me and we would like to have our children close in age. Whatever works for you and your family :)
  • We are not trying to conceive but not preventing either. So it is if it happens, it happens. I am not a teacher but I loved being pregnant in the winter. We also want our kids to be fairly close in age. When the time is right I will get pregnant. Until then we are just enjoying Ty Henry!
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  • I'm really torn. I'm in love with the idea of being pregnant again but am definitely not ready for another baby. After a lot of consideration I think I finally figured it out. When I became pregnant my whole identity changed. For the last year and a half my entire life and world has revolved around being pregnant and being a mom. Now that I'm not pregnant I feel like I'm having an identity crisis all over again. It almost feels like there's something missing. When it comes down to it though I don't think my finances, marriage, or mental health can really handle another baby for a few years. I really look forward to having our next child but this isn't a fantasy and I'm having a hard enough time as it is. When we are ready, probably summer 2015, I hope to have another spring baby. My husband is a football coach so having a fall baby would be a nightmare. An April due date was perfect though. 
  • We aren't officially trying but we aren't preventing either. We are both ready for baby #2. SO would like to wait a few more months so the baby would be born during his slow time at work so he can be around to help more. We both want our kids to get close and age.
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  • we aren't preventing, but I haven't gotten my period back yet.

    We want our second at the MOST 2 years apart, so if I do not get my period back by Spring 2014, I may have to make the decision to wean so we can get pregnant, that will suck!
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  • I am not planning on having more, but in my opinion, there is a huge difference between a newborn and a 2 year versus a 3 year old. At 2, they are not able to understand what is happening, are likely not potty trained, are entering their terrible twos and may even start to sleep regress (at least this was true for my son). At 3, they are able to communicate well, will very much understand what is going on, are usually in a better sleeping pattern and, while still a little tantrumy, are much easier to deal with than a two year old.

    My kids are 2.5 years apart. It would have been tremendously easier to have them 3 years apart. But at 2 years apart, the benefit you get is closeness in age (albeit at the expense of your sanity).
  • I would love to have one more and my husband is all but begging me to have one more but I am 41 years young (he is 35).  So it is highly doubtful that it will happen unless by the grace of God. :((
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  • phill027 said:
    @jss1002 I feel the same way!  I'll be 35 in April.  I just had such a horrible first tri, I can't decide if I'm ready to go through it again (assuming it will be the same).  Good luck to you though!
    It won't necessarily be the same -- I know plenty of people who have had entirely different pregnancies each time... and entirely different babies!  MY fear is that I will have an asshole baby after having this perfect sweet little good-sleeper, good-eater, mild mannered baby.   Makes me ALMOST want to just quit while we're ahead and stick with one kid. ;-)
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  • I have a 3 year old with my 6 month old.  So my children are 2.5 years apart.  To be honest, they get along great.  She loves to help me and gives her brother tons of kisses.  It is hard at times because I EBF, so my hands are full a lot.  I know once they get a little older it will be easier, but we wanted our children close in age.  My daughter was super easy.  My son was colicky and just a completely different baby.   
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  • We would like to have 3 to 3.5 years between our son and our next baby, so we will likely start trying in early 2016.
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  • My lo is almost 7 months and we just found out that I am pregnant again already. That was not planned, we wanted to wait longer but God had other plans I guess.

    New Mommy!!!

  • My situation is slightly different since # 2 will come from a Frozen transfer.....

    That being said, I am planning on doing said transfer in August. I am not ready yet. I'm still tired all the time and have a hard time balancing work and motherhood, BUT I am turning 35 in August and want to be done with kids by the time 36 rolls around. I also feel like there will always be a little part of me not ready to go at it again, but I know for certain I don't want my daughter to be an only child - so I kind of think we need to go for it because the longer I wait the harder time I'll have pulling the trigger!

    I am also hopeful by the time August rolls around I'll be way more ready as I won't be so tired all the time :) Dare to dream ;)


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

  • No. way.  This LO has not STTN one single time, and still acts like he might have colic.  I'll be lucky to survive this, so I'm not even thinking about another one.  I'm 35 and have a 13 yo daughter also.  Between these two kiddos, I can't take much more stress!
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  • Our DDs are 16 months apart. I had an incredibly difficult pregnancy with DD2 and was on bed rest and then hospital bed rest for 2/3 of my pregnancy so having a very, very young toddler was tough. It can be tough with a newborn and a toddler as it seemed that some days there just wasn't enough of me to go around. But things are MUCH easier now and I don't regret having them so close. Our plan for #3 is probably to TTC in 1.5-2 years.
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  • JSS1002 said:
    phill027 said:
    @jss1002 I feel the same way!  I'll be 35 in April.  I just had such a horrible first tri, I can't decide if I'm ready to go through it again (assuming it will be the same).  Good luck to you though!
    It won't necessarily be the same -- I know plenty of people who have had entirely different pregnancies each time... and entirely different babies!  MY fear is that I will have an asshole baby after having this perfect sweet little good-sleeper, good-eater, mild mannered baby.   Makes me ALMOST want to just quit while we're ahead and stick with one kid. ;-)
    This is me exactly! Rhys has my husband's personality. He is so sweet and laid back. I just KNOW the next one will be needy and high-maintenance like I am. oh, and a brat. Like me.
    Amanda

    ******************************

    Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food


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    Rhys - born 04.17.2013
    Harry - born 04.18.2016
  • JBDamonM said:

    My situation is slightly different since # 2 will come from a Frozen transfer.....

    That being said, I am planning on doing said transfer in August. I am not ready yet. I'm still tired all the time and have a hard time balancing work and motherhood, BUT I am turning 35 in August and want to be done with kids by the time 36 rolls around. I also feel like there will always be a little part of me not ready to go at it again, but I know for certain I don't want my daughter to be an only child - so I kind of think we need to go for it because the longer I wait the harder time I'll have pulling the trigger!

    I am also hopeful by the time August rolls around I'll be way more ready as I won't be so tired all the time :) Dare to dream ;)

    Yeah, I'd love to tell you it gets easier after 35, but.... 

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  • arschm02arschm02 member
    edited November 2013
    I loved having the summer off. Ideally, getting pregnant next August is what we're going for, although I think we'll stop trying to prevent in the Spring. I am in the same boat as you. I will be 30 in February. I want the possibility of having a third and DH won't try for a third after age 35. Two years apart sound like a perfect age gap between the two.
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
  • Would love to have my LOs be 3 years apart...but I'm already 37 so we will likely try this summer and with the hope that I get pregnant quickly.  G is so easy I am worried the second one will be a PIA :P
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  • We are in the same boat.  SInce I work for a school we will probably try around July.  I conceived this guy on the first shot so I'm hoping it will be as simple this time.  I'm 34 so I'm not waiting any longer.  Although, after the sleepless nights we have been having lately, I'm reconsidering this whole second baby idea entirely.
    This!
  • We are thinking about starting to TTC our second in about 2 yrs. I want LO to be the baby as long as possible, and we won't be able to afford another one before then (DH is going back to college in the spring). However, a handful of babies were just born in my breastfeeding support group and the squishiness makes my ovaries ache!
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  • I am 30 and this is our first, I always wanted 3, but we might settle on 2.  I don't want to wait too long so that *if* we choose to go for a 3rd, it won't be too late in the game for me.  Right now, I think we are going to try to have them around 3 years apart.  Maybe closer to 4 as my DH wants "only one kid in college at once".  My brother and I are 3 years apart and it worked out well for us.  

  • I would love to have another right now but with me going back to school it's just not feasible. We will mostly likely try again when Ava is two or three. Also throw our wedding in the mix somewhere! it got put on hold because we were told it would take a loong time to get pregnant. It took three months.. Lol oh well. So financially, we couldn't do both.
  • JSS1002 said:
    phill027 said:
    @jss1002 I feel the same way!  I'll be 35 in April.  I just had such a horrible first tri, I can't decide if I'm ready to go through it again (assuming it will be the same).  Good luck to you though!
    It won't necessarily be the same -- I know plenty of people who have had entirely different pregnancies each time... and entirely different babies!  MY fear is that I will have an asshole baby after having this perfect sweet little good-sleeper, good-eater, mild mannered baby.   Makes me ALMOST want to just quit while we're ahead and stick with one kid. ;-)

    I have 3 kids.  My 23 year old son is from a previous relationship the other two are by my husband.   They all 3 have very easy going personalities, I would say they are/were almost identical in temperament, sleeping, eating, etc as babies. My husband and I are also very easy going people so that may have something to do with it as well.
    I have a friend who has 2 girls who are polar opposites.. so  I guess it could go either way.
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  • We will be trying again next Summer/Fall. I loved being pregnant during the winter and having the summer off. We both only want two so this will be our last time TTC. We want them to be about 2.5 - 3 years apart. 
  • knitfaced said:

    My situation is slightly different since # 2 will come from a Frozen transfer.....

    That being said, I am planning on doing said transfer in August. I am not ready yet. I'm still tired all the time and have a hard time balancing work and motherhood, BUT I am turning 35 in August and want to be done with kids by the time 36 rolls around. I also feel like there will always be a little part of me not ready to go at it again, but I know for certain I don't want my daughter to be an only child - so I kind of think we need to go for it because the longer I wait the harder time I'll have pulling the trigger!

    I am also hopeful by the time August rolls around I'll be way more ready as I won't be so tired all the time :) Dare to dream ;)

    This was us. My DS was born in April2011 and we did our transfer on July 30, 2012. Think long and hard about how many to transfer. With DS we transferred three fresh day 3 embryos (our best three). With the twins we transferred 2 day 5 blasts and were convinced we would not have twins. We were wrong.

    Funny - I posted on this on SAIF recently. I am only going to put one back. DD is also the product of an SET. I am TERRIFIED of twins. TERRIFIED. No way I can handle it and I know that. I have 5 frozen embies, 4 of them are 5 day blasts and 1 is a 6 day. With any luck it will work with a single so I don't have to re-think it!


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

  • I wish! Financially we just aren't sure it is in the cards...daycare is outrageous! Plus I'm 39 and Fiona is such a good baby I echo everyone else's fear that a second would be a much more difficult proposition. Guess we will see what the fates allow!
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