Leaving F/T job. Anyone else on the verge?

CageyMack · November 2013

I have had an epiphany in the last few weeks: I cannot play the working mom game anymore. And by that, without disrespect to part-time working moms, I mean working 40 hours a week. I just realized I cannot hurry anymore. I'm tired of rushing to school, rushing to daycare, rushing to work, then waiting at work all day for the 8 hours to be done so I can rush to aftercare, rush to day care, rush home, rush to dinner, feed the dogs, try to walk them, try to clean up, try to have real time with my kids. I'm tired of skipping lunch to get home sooner. I'm tired of punching the clock because I'm bored by my work. Tired of always feeling like my house is a mess, my marriage is tired, my mind is racing, racing, racing and never doing any good.

My job is completely different than it is supposed to be. I'm cut out for innovation and creativity, managing and directing projects. Due to government cutbacks, half of my job (a fun policy research, analysis, and review of a fatty guidance doc, and, yes, that is fun for me), was cut. So the second half that is left is really much more administrative. And I really pretty much am terrible at sitting 8 hours a day in a cube typing minutes. I'm bad at it. I'm good at a lot of other things, but not that. I'm over-paid and under-happy. My workplace has gone through a major shift in the last 6 months as our dynamic leader left. The place is a shell of what it was and no one is very happy.

I am graced with a spouse who is well-situated. By living right down at our means, we can get by if I get a job that pays about 40% of what I make now. I have a line on a great 3/4 time gig with set-your-own hours that is very different from what I'm doing now, in the best ways. I'm hopeful.

I'm so ready. Is anyone else in that place? I'm hanging on by a thread. My work is suffering, so today I'm going to pull on my big-girl panties and do the best job I can. If I do that for two more months, I am hopeful that a new door will open.

If you are thinking of leaving F/T work, what is your plan? Are you nervous? Is it a huge relief? If you have done such a thing, how has it worked for you and your family?

thedash · November 2013

I don't exactly work part time but I left a stressful 50-60 hour per week job for the flexibility of private practice when my oldest was almost one. I basically work 9-5 but have total flexibility other than scheduled court appearances. It has been great. I make about the same amount of money as before but don't have benefits, PTO, or retirement so it's probably about 3/4 pay really. Financially we are fine with that and it's been a huge relief for me to not work the crazy hours and deal with requesting time off, etc. I would not have had a second child so soon if I were still at the old job.

I'm very glad I made the change. It was best for our family.

Nechie122 · November 2013

My story is a little different. I cut down from FT to PT after DD was born but I was with the same company. I took a 75% pay cut and worked 75% of my hours (I left at 3pm everyday.)

At the time, it was what I needed. We didn't need the extra cash. DH was totally supportive. However ... I felt like my career dead-ended. I was no longer on the fast-track to management; it felt almost like shift work.

So after about 10 months, I returned to FT, though I took a job at another company so I could start fresh. That was what I needed then.

I think your situation sounds promising. It sounds like you need to leave your current company regardless. And you can always scale up some time in the future if you want to.

Katelobster · November 2013

I left FT work two months after returning from maternity leave. I had always pictured myself to be a FT working career mom, but the reality of becoming a mom then going back to work was so much harder than I expected, physically and emotionally. I missed my baby like crazy but I was so tired after coming home from work that I felt like I couldn't be a good mom. My DH works 13 hour days several days a week and travels extensively for half the year and I felt like I physically could not keep my baby, dog, house, and myself together being alone so much.

I've been working 3 days a week (also govt) for a little over a year. There's good things and bad things about it.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting more time with my daughter. I love going to playgrounds, play dates, library story time, and baby swim lessons. She's growing up so fast and i wouldnt trade these moments with her for anything. I have time to keep my house clean, my laundry done, and my pantry stocked, and plan and cook meals so when DH is home on the weekends, we can go out and have fun. I am not thrilled with my job, but I have great coworkers whose company I enjoy.

The sucky part is that I feel very stuck here since I don't want to go back to FT work. I'm paid well enough and they give me a flexible schedule and I know I won't find those things elsewhere. Like PP I also feel like I'm at a career dead-end. I just turned 30 and it's hard to see my former grad school classmates and other colleagues my age moving up to really cool positions while I feel stuck. I feel like I had so many aspirations of great things I was going to do with my career and saw myself as a career-oriented woman, and I feel like I've had to completely shift my ideas of what I want and who I am. I hope that makes sense.

But at the end of the day, I am really happy and feel like I've found a good balance for myself and our family. I would not give up extra time with my daughter for anything. I don't know what the future holds for my career but I'm making peace with that. I hope you can find the balance that works for you.

djm31012 · November 2013

Me me me !! I am considering becoming a sahm myself as my career doesn't allow for part time or any flexibility . I miss my son like crazy and I am willing to downgrade our lifestyle for the benefit of being home with DS. It helps that DH is fully on board and thinks it's better for the whole family if I am home . I am nervous to make such a drastic change but I feel stressed al the time with my 65 hr weeks and feel like a crappy mom and wife because of it. I think a change will be best for us.. I just need to take my time do it slowly !

CageyMack · November 2013

Thanks, posters. I appreciate hearing your stories. Best of luck to all of you!

court115 · November 2013

When I had my son, I switched firms and cut from a 60+ hour a week position to a lower one that was only 32 hours. I love it. I love having that extra day to catch up on things that have been neglected all week. I love being able to spend all day on Friday hanging out in my jammies with my LO if that's what we feel like doing.

I will tell you though that I do have days where I struggle being low man on the totem pole. I went from a position where I had my own office and assistance to being everyone's assistant. I know that this decision to step back was an awful decision for my career but it was the best decision for my family.

chevronseven · November 2013

I am expecting my first and will keep my FT job for at least a year (right now it is our main source of income). But by then, DH will be an officer in the Air Force and I am going to stay at home once we get stationed somewhere. I already can't wait. I haven't even seen my baby yet and I am already heartbroken at the idea of having to leave him or her for 8+ hours a day (although it is a little comforting since it will be at the preschool I work at, just in a different building), and already stressed at the rushing you described. I plan on going back to work once all our kids are school age.

JulyMomma2U2 · November 2013

I fought to get a part time position approved.. It had been the best decision ever. I work Mon-Wed and have the rest of the week off. It's fabulous, and I honestly don't think I will ever be able to go back to full time. It's also helped me reignite my passion for my job knowing that I am not missing out on 60+ hours per week with my boys.

virginiagirl11 · November 2013

I'm there. The daily two-kid, two-parent (one entrepreneur), full-time-yet-barely-making-it grind has taken its toll and I am hanging on by a thread. I feel like my life is slowly eroding under me in every possible way and I've got to stop it now before absolutely everything falls down the hole.

Mrs_Lady · November 2013

Me! I put in my resignation today as director of hr. I still have my pt consultant gig and will do that until i find a role i can manage. I stayed home with my little one for close to a year and have been at old emloyer for 90 days...im exhausted all the time. But who isnt really

blushingbride_08 · November 2013

I've done it and you described exactly how I felt. Working full time was physically and mentally exhausting. I felt like the world was spinning too fast and I wanted off. I ended up resigning and now I work part time. It was the most difficult decision I think I've ever made. But it was also the best. Weigh your options and go for what your gut tells you.

michaelaskedlauren · November 2013

Out of curiosity, was it hard for you ladies who left FT gigs and found PT work somewhere else to find those positions? Did you just go through the normal job search process and when it came to negotiations just ask to work PT at a reduced rate?

*sparky* · November 2013

We got to a point whether neither DH nor I could stomach our lives the way they were anymore - he works a ton of hours and travels and there were weeks when I was working until 1 am. It was just not manageable. So I cut back to three days/week. I am left out of certain things at work now, which is a little difficult at times, and I was cut out of the bonus program which took about $30K out of my annual compensation (in addition to my base pay cut), but it is worth it. We just could not survive the way we were anymore.

It was a huge relief to us and has really benefitted our DS. Our family is in a much better place than we were before.

The only downside is I don't love this job but I am kind of stuck because finding a PT position at my level at a new company would be very difficult.

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Leaving F/T job. Anyone else on the verge?

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