LO can't be comforted by dad

Re: LO can't be comforted by dad

• staebells member

  November 2013

  Try leaving the room and not talking when he has her. I have to leave if my LO wants me sometimes. It works for us!

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• Sarajanelleladd member

  November 2013

  In addition to above, maybe also have him wear something of yours while holding the baby. This seems to help when my H feeds our LO a bottle in the evening.

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• ravenclaw1 member

  November 2013

  Some good suggestions above
  
  I also think you could watch The Happiest Baby on the Block together and learn some additional soothing techniques that may work

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• 313Meg member

  November 2013

  I agree with pp's. Your LO is comfortable with you and knows your soothing techniques. It can take SOs time to figure out their own method and in order to do that it may get LO more upset which in turn gets SO frustrated. (At least in my case.) Thet want to make it better and it's hard and defeating when all your baby wants is mom.

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• blinnea23 member

  November 2013

  Just an idea that we tried tonight as we've been dealing with the same thing. DH hummed and she fell right asleep! No tune or anything just humming. She is fussy from shots and this knocked her right out. GL!

  

  

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• redfallon member

  November 2013

  @AppleMuffins said:

  For the past 2-3 weeks, LO just cannot be comforted by her dad. He really does try; he doesn't try to pass her off as soon as she gets cranky or anything. He'll try to give me a break from her, but if she's already fussy she usually quickly becomes very upset, and if she isn't fussy at all, he usually can't get her for more than 10mins before she starts up. I feel really bad for him, and obviously this makes my life harder. It's not that she needs to eat (she's BF) or anything. Usually she's tired but just won't settle. He'll do all the same comfort things I do, or try other things that used to work for him, but nothing. Last night he took her and she got so upset, so instead of taking her back I tried to soothe her while he held her by rubbing her head and shhhing her, but she was arching her back and throwing her head back in my direction like she was trying to break free of his arms and get to me After a couple more minutes I took her back and she settled right down and went to sleep soon after.
  
  I don't know what to do. Any tips or advice? I feel bad for him, and it's stressful for all of us. I start to snap at DH just because I can't stand her being so upset. It's not that he's doing anything wrong, I just want her to feel better. I think he's starting to dread being left with her. Just yesterday he said it seems like whenever he sees her she's fussing or crying. Is this a phase that will pass? Any way to make their time together more enjoyable?
  
  edit to add that she isn't like this for my MIL and she wasn't like that for my sister who was here visiting last week. She turned 7 weeks yesterday.
  

  We're having the same issue. I wonder if it's a phase, like you said. We've watched Happiest Baby on the Block and know all those techniques. He can calm her down by holding her upside-down over his arm and walking around, but he can't do that forever.
  

  Jamie

  
  

  
  

   

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• AppleMuffins member

  November 2013

  Thanks for the suggestions everyone! He did have his own methods of soothing her that used to work, and now they only work temporarily. I have left them totally alone while I shower so she can't see or smell or hear me, but I usually come out of the shower to find a crying baby. I think I will suggest him keeping a shirt of mine with her though. I offered to pump so that he can feed her a bottle in the evenings so that she'll just get used to him spending more time with her and meeting her needs, but he wasn't really interested. I think that's probably because he knows how much pumping sucks, with washing all the parts and everything.
  

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• LnR70707 member

  November 2013

  That is very normal...we didn't go through it quite as much with DS since he was mostly bottle fed so feedings were fairly evenly split between the 2 of us from day 1, but he definitely showed preference for us vs the grandparents.   DD is just 3 months and within the last 2 weeks she has really warmed up to DH.   Try handing her off when she is calm and sleepy so she can associate him with comfort more easily.  Once she can really recognize faces and take more interest in things it will get better.

  
  
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• Lbear8 member

  November 2013

  The bottle really helped my DH and dd! He commented after two feedings that she is now excited to see him compared to before. Of course it didn't completely change her preference for me but it helped

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