Talking/texting with SK while at BM's

JessH1474 · November 2013

Yesterday I was chatting with my SS12 on the phone and when I hung up one of my co-workers mentioned how cool it is that I am able to just call and talk to him like that. I said thanks, but why would you think I wouldn't? She said I don't know, I guess just b/c I'd expect DH to be the one talking to him when he isn't with you. I've just never thought about this, and have always chatted with SS by phone or through text since he's had his own phone. Not everyday obviously, but I have never hesitated to pick up the phone and call him if I wanted to or shoot him a text. DH also calls and texts on a regular basis. DH and I have been together since SS was 3 months old though, so maybe that's why I feel super comfortable, idk. If you're a SM, do you communicate with SK's when they're not with you and DH?

+just+j+ · November 2013

Yep. When we were on speaking terms.

This is not odd for a healthy blended family and if you all have a strong relationship.

I think its odd that she thinks its unusual.

cole2144 · November 2013

Only if SD is talking to DH. BM hates me with every fiber of her being so I would never call to talk to SD (she is 6).

nevertune · November 2013

My step-son doesn't have a phone yet (he's 9) but I e-mail him if I have questions or find something funny he'd like when he's not here. Once he has a phone, I'm sure I'll end up bugging the crap out of him.

MommyEllenSue · November 2013

We call and talk to the SK's every night they are at BM's and I talk to them then. They are to young for their own phones now but I'm sure we will talk & text a lot through the day when that time comes. I think that it just depends on how close the relationship is.

JessH1474 · November 2013

@+just+j+ That's what I thought, it was like she expected me to NOT talk to him b/c he was only my SS. It just made me think about something I never really had before. I didn't talk to him much before we got him his cell phone since it was through BM's phone, but I can't imagine feeling like I couldn't speak with him at all in between visits. It's already hard enough as it is only seeing him EOWE

joshsmandy · November 2013

Absolutely! We are all really good about allowing conversations whether its us calling her moms house or vice versa. Her mom will even call me if she is having issues with her homework on occasion

suze423 · November 2013

I don't. All communication has to go through BM because although SS has his own phone (that BM's boyfriend pays for) BM has blocked all incoming/outgoing calls and text to/from my number, DH's number, and MIL's number. She told DH if he doesn't like it he can get SS another phone that he pays for. No thanks...

Lavender P · November 2013

I only talk to SS on the phone on his birthday. If I am with DH whn he calls it will usually ask to talk to him, but we have all kinds of communication issues. BM doesn't pick up her phone or return phone calls. SS is not allowed to talk to DH or I on his cell phone. He did for a while and then BM got mad that SS was talking to us. If we bought him one she wouldn't let him use it at her house so it is pointless. She doesn't have a house phone. So I pretty much see SS every two weeks and that is it.

HisChamaoleGirl · November 2013

I used to call SS and talk to him without DH initiating the phone call. BM never had a problem with it until SS at the age of seven started calling me his extra mom and was telling me that he loved me. At that point she told him he was not allowed to love me, hug or kiss me, and stopped allowing me to talk to him on the phone. It has really taken a toll on my relationship with him. Especially with DH work schedule there are times during visitation where it is just me and SS. I really miss the sweet relationship I had with him before his mother made him feel guilty about it

+just+j+ · November 2013

OMG. I would not have an issue with DD wanting to talk to R. In fact she had asked and I suggested it. Why would you deny your child that? Wow. The insecurity of these ladies is so unfortunate.

Ndsales · November 2013

I did up until BM broke SS's phone and we refused to buy another one for him there. BM does not like me talking to SS because he calls me mommy (she started calling me Mommy ND, and he dropped the ND and now calles her Mommy BM). When BM called me erratic in September and I couldnt understand her, I demanded to speak to SS, he immediatly called me mommy, 15 minutes later when DH called to talk to SS, he was conviently gone. She hates that he calls me mommy, but she started it to make herself feel better about calling her boyfriend daddy bf. guess it back fired on her. SS is an amazingly smart boy, and while his anger is misdirected occasionally, he knows who is always there for him and will always be there for him and not lie to him.

Hollyhelton · November 2013

Ndsales said:

I did up until BM broke SS's phone and we refused to buy another one for him there. BM does not like me talking to SS because he calls me mommy (she started calling me Mommy ND, and he dropped the ND and now calles her Mommy BM). When BM called me erratic in September and I couldnt understand her, I demanded to speak to SS, he immediatly called me mommy, 15 minutes later when DH called to talk to SS, he was conviently gone. She hates that he calls me mommy, but she started it to make herself feel better about calling her boyfriend daddy bf. guess it back fired on her. SS is an amazingly smart boy, and while his anger is misdirected occasionally, he knows who is always there for him and will always be there for him and not lie to him.

jess9802 · November 2013

I'm not much of a phone person and neither is SS, but when he's with his mom I will send him emails, instant messages, or texts if I'm thinking of him or want to share something with him.

CurlyQ284 · November 2013

I text them occasionally. They dont write back half the time. Getting them to talk is like pulling teeth (preteens) so I dont take up DHs talk time. He can only get a few minutes with them before the one word answers start because they're watching TV or something.

JessH1474 · November 2013

@CurlyQ284 SS used to be that way on the phone also and DH would get so annoyed but as he's gotten older he's better about it.

I really feel for some of you ladies that aren't allowed to talk to Sk's b/c of BM, that's just crazy. Hopefully as your SK's get older, they will be able to voice their own opinions to BM about who they feel they should be able to talk to.

YummyChef · November 2013

I wish my SS7 had his own cellphone, so we could talk or chat anytime. Unfortunately, I'll have to wait until he's a bit older. I would never call BM's house though... especially not now that we aren't on speaking terms anymore.

Want a personalized experience?

Talking/texting with SK while at BM's

Re: Talking/texting with SK while at BM's

Choose Another Board

Search Boards