Does anyone use a midwife? (Long)

KC1212 · November 2013

So when I was pregnant with DS I called several times a few weeks prior to my 5 week early delivery with him to my OBs office complaining of shortness of breath (to an extreme) and contractions. I will spare you the details but obviously the contractions were not "false" like the kept telling me and the bitch Dr on call told me that the shortness of breath was baby on the lungs and really it was fluid on my heart and I ended up seeing the high risk doctor and a cardiologist had to be present for my c section

Fastforward to now and what I didn't tell you of all this shit this week was that when I went into for a beta I asked to briefly see a nurse as I thought I was in the throws of a yeast infection.

Bitchy receptionist gave me snooty answers, but I was seen.

Snooty nurse practioner was supposed to call me in some vaginal antibiotics and I called 3 hours LATER asking them to call the fucking Rx so I could pick it up with my sick kid's antibiotic

"We usually call those in at the end of the day"

Me: "I get that, but, my crotch is FIRE "

RX gets called in, and then I call back a few hours later for the dreaded fucking beta ya'll already know about. Well here's how that went:

Me: " I'm calling for the status of my beta and pregesterone check"

Nurse: "it's 19"

Me: "still?!"

Nurse: "oh is this a re-check?"

Me: "yes" (SAME woman who gave me first results)

She put me on hold I burst into tears and then told me the bad news.

I guess I feel like this takes the cake for me and I'm currently shopping for a new OB. Just wondering if any of you ladies on here use a midwife and do you think the care is more personalized?

Edit: I ask because I think they do gynecological care too and the one I'm pondering works in conjunction with an OB. I just know I gotta get out of my OBs office. It is crowded and mean baby factory.

Amores0121 · November 2013

I don't use a midwife, but I would have switched OBs after having your 1st child. They clearly have no bedside manner and don't seem to care very much about their patients. Also, did they prescribe you diflucan? If so, they should not have done that since they did not yet know that you were going to m/c.

KC1212 · November 2013

No, I haven't been prescribed anything.

Amores0121 · November 2013

Oh, ok, I was going to say they're really dropping the ball! But yeah, I would find a different doctor. I have considered using a midwife as well, but I really like my OB. She has had multiple losses as well and really cares about how I feel. It is so rare to find that. Good luck on your search!

pettycrocker · November 2013

First- I am so sorry you had to deal with all that crap. That is just so outrageous, you'd think they'd have a little more fucking tact.

Second- I started with a midwife with DD, but it was a group of Midwives, meaning I pretty much never saw the same one twice. Then about half way through, they transferred me to the OB because I was high risk, and I absolutely loved her. It really had nothing to do with the fact that she was an OB, just that she was an amazing human being in general, plus I preferred the continuity of care I got only seeing her. It just so happened, my induction fell on a weekend she was out of the country and I ended up having my csection done by a total stranger- such is life.

I think you can find an amazing OB or Midwife, it just depends on the person. I do like that Midwifes tend to be a bit more lax about pregnancy, while OBs sometimes tend to be a bit more on the clinical side of the spectrum. I think the important thing is finding someone you connect with. My super wonderful, amazing OB ended up leaving the practice after DD was born to pursue "Natural Medicine" So I went back on the hunt the beginning of this year- the first OB I saw was ok, but I didn't really feel that "magical click" lol- the 2nd OB, was another super amazing lady- so down to earth, and more personable- those are the kind of Drs I like- the ones that make you feel like you can sit down and have a cup of coffee with them and talk about celeb gossip after your pap smear LOL.

So don't feel bad doing meet and greets with different midwives/OBs until you find one that's a good fit for you.

kndeckar · November 2013

I just want to say first I'm so sorry you had to deal with those people. I have had several sucky nurses deliver me m/c news in a similar manner and it's just awful. That is actually the reason I switched doctors when we first started TTC #1. I was seeing a reg family doc who delivered babies. She was awesome but her nurses were bitches. Plus I ended up having a c-section with DD so she couldn't have delivered me anyway.

The OB I ended up going to for DD was an hour away, and I decided I just couldn't swing that this time around because it would be too much driving with working full time & having a 2 year old. So I am left with the choice of the 3 or 4 OBs in my hometown. All of which have their negatives. I seriously wish I could "shop around" for a doctor! Sorry I didn't answer your question at all. We don't have any midwives around here! Good luck to you!

chusum · November 2013

Sounds like you really need a change! I can't go to a midwife (high risk), but I love the idea of them. I think they are more personal, & most of the people I know that have used them say they are there lot longer than the OB on birth day.

You mentioned a c/s in your OP so I'm assuming you'd attempt a VBAC if you had a midwife since they don't do c/s? A midwife would probably be more encouraging of a VBAC. I also absolutely love my OB, so he would have to move before I would leave him.

KC1212 · November 2013

@Chusum I would love a VBAC. In fact my hospital stay was such a horror story that I (pray God I get pregnant again) am really interested in a home birth, though, I don't know if it would be realistic for me.

When I was in the hospital with my son and having the above mentioned heart problems that went un-detected by said shitty OB I had a nurse tell me I could not have pain medicine. Then I had another who said I could. So I took it and it wore off (it was not an epidural) and they told me I could not have more because they "weren't sure if my labor was real or false"

So then the contractions are full blown and intense and I was feeling every bit of them. I begged and begged for a shower and they wouldn't let me take one.

I argued that if women could labor in the bathtub -why couldn't I labor in the shower? ( I was desperate for pain relief and hoped that warm water would be soothing)

Still, I was denied. Long story short I didn't get pain relief until the Csection.

So the fact that I went almost halfway with one measely drug combined with the shitty hospital stay makes me feel like I could hack it at home au natural.

maybe I'm crazy

I'm divorcing my OB though. That is for sure, good riddance. I need someone who treat me like a human not like a "patient".

chusum · November 2013

I think you could do it! Maybe a birthing center would be a happy medium for you?

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Does anyone use a midwife? (Long)

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