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Babies on the Brain
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am i over reacting?

foreverapartofmeforeverapartofme member
in Babies on the Brain
Long story short,  I took my mom who has cancer to a hair appointment today, so she could have her hair done before her surgery this coming Monday, while my DD went with my DH to his friend's house. The stylist was running behind so by the time we got out of the appointment it was lunch time.  My mother and I decided to go to lunch and pick up a few things she needed for her hospital stay and for recovery.  While we were at lunch, my DH called me to see where I was at an estimate time for when I would be back.  I told him we had to go to two more stores and then I had to drop my mother off at her house.  Well two stores later and a drop off, I end up calling my DH to ask if he minded if I just went to Church tonight without the baby.  After trying to call him twice, I decided to just go to Church which is literally two minutes away from his friend's house.  Then second I walked into his house, I could tell my DH was irritated with me that he had to watch DD all day and told me that she didn't take a nap because the other kid doesn't nap.  I decided to take my DD home right then because I didn't want to argue with him in front of his friend.  

I guess I just feel overwhelmed.  I've had to prepare for my mother's surgery, plan for the therapists who will cover my leave while I am taking care of my mother, all the chores at the house, working full time, and being mom.  It was nice to go out for a change and to have a little break.  I do 95% of the work that goes into running our home and caring for our daughter.  I just couldn't believe he was irritated with me for going out and it is my perception that he is annoyed that I did not take the baby so he couldn't have fun with his friend.  I am trying to cool off, because when he gets home tonight we are definitely going to talk.  I was just curious if anyone thought I was overreacting or had any good input for me?  Thanks ladies! :)
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Re: am i over reacting?

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  • DucktaleDucktale member
    I agree, nothing wrong with a day off if you need it and agree on it, but to be gone that much longer than planned...sorry, I'm on his side. I understand you tried calling, but if you couldn't reach him, you probably should have gone home. If DH did that to me, I'd probably be more than irritated. I'm sorry you're stressed and have a lot going on. It does sound like you need a break, but that needs to discussed ahead of time.
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  • foreverapartofmeforeverapartofme member
    Thanks for the feedback! :)  I appreciate your help and honest opinions. DH and I actually had a chat and I will be better discussing/planning things with him.  Usually I am better with that sort of thing. This is the first time I've ever done anything like that. Live and learn I guess.  
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  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    IMO your husband had a good reason to be mad. I would be pissed if I was only under the impression I was watching a kid for a certain amount of time and then unexpectedly stuck for even longer. If your husband didn't answer the phone you needed to find another way to talk to him. If the church was so close to his friend you could have stopped by before church

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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    L&R70707 said:
    Um, if I'm reading this right...your DH was under the assumption that he was watching DD for the morning and you ended up coming home HOURS after he expected you?!?   Yeah...he has a right to be irritated.   If you needed a whole day that is absolutely fine, but last minute one sided notification isn't cool.
    I agree. If I couldn't get a hold of MH, I would have gone wherever instead of just going to church.
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    :: shrugs ::

    I don't know.  I get irritated with my husband if he is later than planned and doesn't tell me, so I can see where he is coming from.  However, on the other hand, I am a SAHM so I am with them the majority of the time and considering the circumstances, he should have given you a break. 

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