DH Rant

My1stBabe · November 2013

I feel like I'm alone here bc I read other posts of how supportive their DH is and I can't help but feel bitter.. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe I'm completely taking his actions the wrong way but I feel like he doesn't want anything to do with this pregnancy. When I told him we were excepting he so excited that he put a list of things together that he wanted to do and get done to our home before LO comes BUT He hasn't done any of that.... He hasn't quit smoking like he promised he would, every ache I have he just shrugs it off like I need to get over it, and he has done nothing to prepare for our LO. Everytime I try to talk to him I end up crying and our convo gets no where...Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet that he is going to be a dad in 6 weeks or less but he needs to stop putting things off and help me or I'm going to go crazy...

I feel really bad for bashing my DH, he really is a great person but I just need to vent!!! Thanks for listening...

Lroberts1187 · November 2013

Is this your first child??!! I really struggled with this when I was pregger with my first child. Also how old is he? My hubs was 23 when our first child was born and he really didn't get it till the doctor placed our son in his arms. Men are very visual! Even though they know in their head that they are going to be a parent I think a lot of them don't get it till it really happens. Atleast In my experience. This is baby #2 for us and he has done a lot better this go round but he still doesn't really get it the way that we do. We have to carry them and feel them it's much more real to us. Long before it is for them. Hang in there, it won't be long now.

gburghappyheart · November 2013

This is my second pregnancy and I really had to ride DH to get things done. I think he is in denial because we still have no names and this baby is due in three weeks. He keeps saying we have plenty of time. My last resort is always to tell him I will hire someone or do it myself..... And if I do he will be sorry!

Ur not alone!

cboink · November 2013

Your not alone at all! My SO is extremely supportive in certain ways but when it has come to buying things and preparing the apartment for the baby, he hasn't done shit! It makes me crazy and I don't know how to get through to him that we are running out of time. This is my second child but his first. I agree with PP that maybe it just isn't quite real to him. Also I don't think age is a factor because SO is 35. I would say take some deep breathes and maybe find a friend to help you get the to dos done. I finally got my mom to help me and it slightly motivated SO. Good luck!

Caitlinh27 · November 2013

Isn't this a time were our SO's are supposed to be extra supportive and understanding? Mine is being a total jerk as well. I'm so mad at him this morning that I feel like I can't even talk to him without completely losing it.

amyrose542 · November 2013

I think that all men just don't get it and don't have the same level of stress that we have with the whole process. I mean I think we would all get everything done the day we find out we're pregnant if it was possible. Its not easy to have to rely on them almost completely when it gets to the end too. Unfortunately no matter what its just a bad mix and neither party can really get the other to understand how they feel or what we want from the other. So yep our husbands suck and we are lunatics for a little bit 8-}

fauxvegan · November 2013

My DH drives me nuts sometimes too. I asked him to install the car seat yesterday, and not only did he do it in a bad mood, he only installed the base. No car seat. This morning though, is a different story. He's like super nesting wanting to deep clean the entire house so we can bring LO home to a clean house. Hopefully, your DH comes around as soon as he realizes how close your due date is. Also, remind him LO can arrive earlier.

mkhim · November 2013

Yeah, my SO keeps saying we have time. He hasn't taken the initiative to do any nesting and it takes an extra 2-3 days at least for him to get anything I ask of him done. It honestly doesn't bother me too much though. I've been really lazy myself and when he doesn't want to do anything, I use it as a chance to take it easy myself. But we're almost done with everything now doing things bit by bit.

airsica · November 2013

Yeah, this is our second pregnancy and we had everything done by 26 weeks. We just got a lot of the stuff done this weekend and baby will be here in 3 weeks. I feel like I nag him all the time, but he just doesn't think it's as important, like we could come home and our house could be trashed and he wouldn't care.
To be realistic in just about all the men I know they really don't connect until after birth, and a lot of times until baby starts smiling and interacting. My hubby use to offer to baby sit my twins... Ummm pretty sure when they are your kids you aren't babysitting, your just taking care if your kids!!! Good luck. Don't feel alone, I fully believed that my hubby didn't admit to himself the he was having another baby until I was like 7 months.

mkhim · November 2013

Kmaynard0815 said:
My DH hasnt quit smoking either...and ive pushed him and pushed him...he's snapped at me a time or two saying he will quit when he is ready. Mind you he said he would quit when our daughter is born. I give up...bought him 2 ecigs...never uses them. Finally I just told him NOOO more smoking in our car. Do it somewhere else far away. Our daughter doesnt need to be around that nasty crap. Gladly since we have lived together he has NEVER smoked inside. That was my first main rule. I will hurt you if you smoke inside(not really, but he knows better) not fair for me and our house to smell disgusting when I dont smoke..nope nope nope..I am grateful that he at least goes outside and doesnt do it in our car. Hope everything gets better for you OP!

My SO works at a casino and comes home smelling of cigarettes. My pregnant nose can't take it. It instantly gets congested when he comes home. He has to shower before he gets anywhere near me and can't come into bed until then either.

DH Rant

Re: DH Rant

Choose Another Board

Search Boards