NTTGP: Baby Showers

WolFox · November 2013

So today I am off to my first baby shower as an adult. I went to one or two as a kid but I don't remember too much.

What are you favorite parts about baby showers? Least favorite?

I'm looking forward to warm and fuzzy baby talk and getting ideas. Hopefully there will be some good food and silly games. On the other hand, this friend has some complicated family dynamics that I am NOT too excited about. Her bridal shower was pretty disastrous. Sometimes she responds to their craziness in stride, and sometimes not, so I have no idea what I'm walking into. I'm determined to spend the ride over there thinking positive, happy, supportive thoughts so I can be a good friend no matter what's going on.

WolFox · November 2013

@gonzol and @sweettea42 You are both awesome, but you are not making me feel better about this hahaha.

PugMum · November 2013

I also hate going to them. I go for the food.

AppleGrapeMSTK · November 2013

I've never been to one, and I didn't get one when I was pregnant with DS. I actually have no idea what goes on at a baby shower. But if she is your friend, go be her back up/wing man. Support her and let her vent about the drama later. Have fun!

JemmaWRX · November 2013

It really depends on the host. I've been to really nice baby showers - small guest list, great food, no cheesy games, 3 hours max. And I've been tacky showers - 75 guests, MTB takes FOREVER to open gifts. I left a baby shower once while the MTB was halfway through opening gifts and I had already been there about 4 hours. Fuck that shit.

The best part of any party/shower though is the food. Food is the best part of my life.

Valancyy · November 2013

I like baby showers. I hate the games though. We had no games at mine. Uh, the games!

My favorite part: the food! Especially the cake. Ha ha. Now that I've had kids I also like to watch the presents being opened, as long as it doesn't take too long.

I just re-read my post and it sounds like I only like baby showers that are up to my specs. LOL.

Lottie&Paul · November 2013

I'm another one who hates showers - both bridal and baby. I used to go for the food (I love the sheet cakes people serve at showers), but years ago I decided that even that doesn't make it worth it to me. Since then I decline all shower invitations and send a gift instead.

pudgybunny · November 2013

haven't been to many showers of any kind but I too detest the games. oy. my bridal showers had limited games and they weren't the 'let's make everyone look like a moron game'. we did one bridal shower where my soon to be DH was there and they had questions for us newlywed game style but g rated! got good laughs and was fun for all.
yup, food hands down best part! but my name and avatar scream that i love food regardless!
Anyone have any ideas how to make the gift opening part less painful? I will take mental notes for when we get pregnant so no one has to suffer at my shower!

MSW052013 · November 2013

I enjoy baby showers. It's a great time to celebrate. My favorite aspect is food. It has always been good. The least favorite aspect for me is when gifts are passed around or cards are read aloud. These two things drive me crazy.

IvyMagic828 · November 2013

I think they're fun - I enjoy the food, games, seeing the mom to be opening up some cute baby items, pretty much all of it! Guess I'm in the minority. But then again, I've only been to baby showers of very close friends of mine. They live several hours away from me, so I love any opportunity to get together and see them all again. I'm also super excited for them so I really look forward to sharing in that experience with them. I suppose if it was a shower for a relative or coworker that I wasn't that close with, I wouldn't be that excited.

cakebatter27 · November 2013

I'm currently bumping at a baby shower. My first one ever! I'll post a pic of the cake later. ..it's beautiful!

janda426 · November 2013

As everyone else said I go for the food. My SIL baby shower was dumb, it was the weekend after my wedding and everyone was shitting their pants over the new cousin that was just born and I was sitting in the corner like an outcast. It was so awkward. The only people I knew were hosting and had to be everywhere else. As you can gather I'm not much of a social butterfly.

WinningColors · November 2013

I don't like showers in general, bridal or baby, doesn't matter. Games are stupid and unless I'm really good friends with the bride or mom-to-be, I find the gift opening to be a bore. The best part of the shower is when it's time to leave!

Twinkie0612 · November 2013

I am definitely the weirdo here. I actually like baby showers. I like seeing all of the cute baby stuff, eating cake, and even playing some of the stupid baby shower games (I will kick your ass at name the baby animal game).

That being said I will probably skip my first baby shower ever in a few weeks. It's for my cousin's wife (who never participates in family events) and we aren't particularly close. After our recent loss and our terrible WTF appointment (my RE thinks we are wasting our time/money and that we shouldn't cycle again, he is recommending moving on to either adoption or using either donor eggs or embryos. It was a shock and a complete kick in the gut) I don't think I can deal with a baby shower and my families comments of "you're next!" or "when are you going to have kids?" On top of that the mom to be was told that she would never have kids (We've never discussed it, but I am pretty sure she has PCOS and I am pretty sure it was an OB/GYN that told her she would never have kids) and didn't even find out she was pregnant until she was 18 weeks along. I don't think I could deal with any "miracle baby" comments so soon after we lost our little miracle. I plan on sending a nice gift with my sister or my mom. Who knows though, maybe I will be in a better place in a few weeks and actually attend the shower.

BlackBooks · November 2013

Games are the worst! Why are they necessary? I would much rather sit and talk to the friends/family that I only get to see a few times a year. Or chat with the bride/mom to be about this special time in her life. Socializing is the best part of the shower, you know like along with the cake.

CityLover44 · November 2013

I love most parts of baby showers. Love seeing friends or family, and food, and get togethers. I'm nottttt a fan of games, though.

AJ1042 · November 2013

Agree that food is the best part about showers. I think games are helpful to either break the ice or just pass the time if people don't know each other well, otherwise I agree with blackbooks that I would rather be socializing with people.

Twinkie0612 · November 2013

packerfan4life said:

@twinkie0612 - I am so sorry to hear about your RE appt. Huge hugs to you. I'm sure everyone will understand if you can't make it.

Thanks @packerfan4life

My extended family doesn't know about our IF treatments, so they won't know why I am not there.

Generally baby showers don't bother me, I've been to a few since starting IF treatments and I am pretty good a keeping my emotions in check. Right now though my emotions are all over the place and I don't want to be a debbie downer at a baby shower.

We have another appointment with our RE in 2 weeks, so I am hoping it will give us a good plan for additional testing. I really want to do one more OE cycle before moving on to donors, so I am still hoping that maybe we can come up with a plan for one more cycle.

Marcilene1 · November 2013

We had a coed baby shower complete with booze, dancing, and a dj. No games at all. Everyone had a great time. I have never been to a traditional baby shower and I hope I never get invited to one lol.

cakebatter27 · November 2013

I just got back from this one. It was awesome. Card said it started a 12:30, probably didn't get underway until about 1. The food was delicious!! I was worried because the mama to be said 70 people were attending and there were A LOT of gifts. She opened up everything in about an hour and 15 minutes.

There was a "lotto" game. Everyone opened up 3 tickets and if you matched 3 baby bottles you won a basket. There were 4 baskets so 4 people won. There was also a baby bottle passed around filled with candy and people wrote down how many candies they thought were in it. Those were the only "games" and they took maybe 5 minutes.

WolFox · November 2013

REPORT:

As expected, there was family drama, but I stayed close to my friend and kept her away from it. There were no real games. I helped her with the gifts (taking the trash, bows, taking away the opened gifts) etc. If I hadn't been involved in that, however, and just been watching, it would have been boring. The present opening took a long time. In fact, most of the people at the party left during the present opening. If it hadn't been a friend I loved so much, I could see how it would have been painful.

GirlOnTheBeach · November 2013

I hate baby showers. Also wedding showers or anything along those lines. Baby showers are the worst though because I can't stand being stuck in a room full of women I may or may not know, eating gross candies out of little dishes abd playing games about anything baby related for hours on end.

Large groups make me nervous and I've never been much or a girly girl at all so they just aren't my thing. That being said, I've been to more of them than I could ever count! If we ever have one, it'll just be a family BBQ and everyone can just hang out as usual. Gifts or no gifts, that would be perfect. That's what we did for our wedding shower too ;-)

Jellyfish42 · November 2013

I only hate baby showers because of the comments about it being my turn, and asking if we are trying or when we are going to have one. The food is so/so. The drama is sometimes entertaining. The gifts are boring and are only opened then for the attention. As much as I hate them, if someone throws me one, I will be that bitch right back to everyone else and open the presents and comment on every. single. item.

For as many as I've had to sit through, I deserve to get to milk it! Haha!

Itsbritneybiitch · November 2013

Lottie&Paul said:

I'm another one who hates showers - both bridal and baby. I used to go for the food (I love the sheet cakes people serve at showers), but years ago I decided that even that doesn't make it worth it to me. Since then I decline all shower invitations and send a gift instead.

You sound like a fun friend.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

I like showers and I love watching people open presents. I'm also really liking the new trend of having it co-ed and more like a party vs. a shower. It's become a lot about serving good food, an open bar and socializing with friends while opening gifts, talking and being excited about the baby. The last one I went to was for five hours but there was a DJ and a dessert bar and fully open bar. Plus when it's coed and two people are opening gifts it doesn't take too long.

I'm not a huge fan of the games. The one I went to three weeks ago had people chugging hard alcohol out of sippy cups and guessing the type of chocolate bar mashed into a diaper. I'm not too keen on those "activities." I'm also not into all of the "add ons" that are going on with showers. I'm currently planning one for SIL and she wants to do all of the latest trends....having a diaper pyramid (so an insert requesting packs of diapers)...books instead of cards (another insert) and then also the registry information. This essentially is asking guests to bring three different items. I've been to four showers now that have done the same exact thing.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

GhostMonkey said:

Savannah2002 said:

I like showers and I love watching people open presents. I'm also really liking the new trend of having it co-ed and more like a party vs. a shower. It's become a lot about serving good food, an open bar and socializing with friends while opening gifts, talking and being excited about the baby. The last one I went to was for five hours but there was a DJ and a dessert bar and fully open bar. Plus when it's coed and two people are opening gifts it doesn't take too long.

I'm not a huge fan of the games. The one I went to three weeks ago had people chugging hard alcohol out of sippy cups and guessing the type of chocolate bar mashed into a diaper. I'm not too keen on those "activities." I'm also not into all of the "add ons" that are going on with showers. I'm currently planning one for SIL and she wants to do all of the latest trends....having a diaper pyramid (so an insert requesting packs of diapers)...books instead of cards (another insert) and then also the registry information. This essentially is asking guests to bring three different items. I've been to four showers now that have done the same exact thing.

That's not how diaper cakes work. One person (or a small group) gives it as a gift.

Oh no this isn't a diaper cake.

It's the new thing. You "request" that every guest brings a package of diapers (also request receipt still attached so that they can be returned if need be...I shit you not)....then during the shower some unlucky soul builds a pyramid/stack with the packs of diapers and someone takes a pictures. It's just a ploy to get guests to bring an additional gift because who wants to be the guest walking in without a package of diapers (and a book and a gift)?

Savannah2002 · November 2013

GhostMonkey said:

Savannah2002 said:

GhostMonkey said:

Savannah2002 said:

I like showers and I love watching people open presents. I'm also really liking the new trend of having it co-ed and more like a party vs. a shower. It's become a lot about serving good food, an open bar and socializing with friends while opening gifts, talking and being excited about the baby. The last one I went to was for five hours but there was a DJ and a dessert bar and fully open bar. Plus when it's coed and two people are opening gifts it doesn't take too long.

I'm not a huge fan of the games. The one I went to three weeks ago had people chugging hard alcohol out of sippy cups and guessing the type of chocolate bar mashed into a diaper. I'm not too keen on those "activities." I'm also not into all of the "add ons" that are going on with showers. I'm currently planning one for SIL and she wants to do all of the latest trends....having a diaper pyramid (so an insert requesting packs of diapers)...books instead of cards (another insert) and then also the registry information. This essentially is asking guests to bring three different items. I've been to four showers now that have done the same exact thing.

That's not how diaper cakes work. One person (or a small group) gives it as a gift.

Oh no this isn't a diaper cake.

It's the new thing. You "request" that every guest brings a package of diapers (also request receipt still attached so that they can be returned if need be...I shit you not)....then during the shower some unlucky soul builds a pyramid/stack with the packs of diapers and someone takes a pictures. It's just a ploy to get guests to bring an additional gift because who wants to be the guest walking in without a package of diapers (and a book and a gift)?

So instead of a raffle and giving a prize they just get stacked? Lame.

Exactly.....I've been the poor soul to stack the one time. Not so much fun and really it doesn't look pretty it's just a way to get a bunch of diapers.

Bredins wife · November 2013

Savannah2002 said:

GhostMonkey said:

Savannah2002 said:

I like showers and I love watching people open presents. I'm also really liking the new trend of having it co-ed and more like a party vs. a shower. It's become a lot about serving good food, an open bar and socializing with friends while opening gifts, talking and being excited about the baby. The last one I went to was for five hours but there was a DJ and a dessert bar and fully open bar. Plus when it's coed and two people are opening gifts it doesn't take too long.

I'm not a huge fan of the games. The one I went to three weeks ago had people chugging hard alcohol out of sippy cups and guessing the type of chocolate bar mashed into a diaper. I'm not too keen on those "activities." I'm also not into all of the "add ons" that are going on with showers. I'm currently planning one for SIL and she wants to do all of the latest trends....having a diaper pyramid (so an insert requesting packs of diapers)...books instead of cards (another insert) and then also the registry information. This essentially is asking guests to bring three different items. I've been to four showers now that have done the same exact thing.

That's not how diaper cakes work. One person (or a small group) gives it as a gift.

Oh no this isn't a diaper cake.

It's the new thing. You "request" that every guest brings a package of diapers (also request receipt still attached so that they can be returned if need be...I shit you not)....then during the shower some unlucky soul builds a pyramid/stack with the packs of diapers and someone takes a pictures. It's just a ploy to get guests to bring an additional gift because who wants to be the guest walking in without a package of diapers (and a book and a gift)?

Honestly, the books instead of cards thing is a great idea. A card (usually) cost about $3.50 at a grocery store, and it gets read and either tossed in a box, or tossed in the trash. A book, about $3-5 for a small board book, will last a lifetime, and you can write a note on the inside cover. I do books as cards for all showers and birthday parties now, even if it's just a coloring book.

Plus, my friends and I are super into thrift stores, you can get a book for .25 in perfect condition, and none of us would ever bat an eye that is was from a thrift store.

I have been to a "diaper party" as well. The dad to be had a diaper party (co-ed) and the mom to be had the shower (co-ed) so essentially, they had two showers. The Diaper party was everyone bring a pack of diapers and we will provide a case of crap beer for you to enjoy. The shower was fun and classy-sh though.

ADH0906 · November 2013

I have my first adult baby shower next week, and I'm so confused. It's for a coworker's wife...I barely know this guy. Our office is smallish (~40) but he's in a totally different department and I only see him in the hallway. We got an email that next Wednesday they're having a shower for his wife (does not work in the office) at noon! So, it's during work hours and I can't really skip it. The invitation was for the women of the office only. We're going out for lunch, then "coming back to the office, where *coworker* will open presents and show pictures of *coworker's wife*" ... wtf? She won't even be there? I work through lunch so that I can leave before traffic makes my one hour commute unbearable. Guess I'll stay 1.5 hours late so I can see pictures of your pregnant wife?

On the other hand, buying adorable baby stuff is awesome and lets out some of my baby-craziness. H had to give me a price limit because I would have totally gone overboard.

Why aren't after-baby showers a thing? Where you give presents AND get to meet the new baby?

ADH0906 · November 2013

GhostMonkey said:

ADH0906 said:
Why aren't after-baby showers a thing? Where you give presents AND get to meet the new baby?

Yeah, let's expose a newborn with no immune system for 40 people. Awesome idea for those born during cold and flu season (and no, the sickies won't just stay away. Trust me on that).

Ah. Good point.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

Bredins wife said:

Savannah2002 said:

GhostMonkey said:

Savannah2002 said:

I like showers and I love watching people open presents. I'm also really liking the new trend of having it co-ed and more like a party vs. a shower. It's become a lot about serving good food, an open bar and socializing with friends while opening gifts, talking and being excited about the baby. The last one I went to was for five hours but there was a DJ and a dessert bar and fully open bar. Plus when it's coed and two people are opening gifts it doesn't take too long.

I'm not a huge fan of the games. The one I went to three weeks ago had people chugging hard alcohol out of sippy cups and guessing the type of chocolate bar mashed into a diaper. I'm not too keen on those "activities." I'm also not into all of the "add ons" that are going on with showers. I'm currently planning one for SIL and she wants to do all of the latest trends....having a diaper pyramid (so an insert requesting packs of diapers)...books instead of cards (another insert) and then also the registry information. This essentially is asking guests to bring three different items. I've been to four showers now that have done the same exact thing.

That's not how diaper cakes work. One person (or a small group) gives it as a gift.

Oh no this isn't a diaper cake.

It's the new thing. You "request" that every guest brings a package of diapers (also request receipt still attached so that they can be returned if need be...I shit you not)....then during the shower some unlucky soul builds a pyramid/stack with the packs of diapers and someone takes a pictures. It's just a ploy to get guests to bring an additional gift because who wants to be the guest walking in without a package of diapers (and a book and a gift)?

Honestly, the books instead of cards thing is a great idea. A card (usually) cost about $3.50 at a grocery store, and it gets read and either tossed in a box, or tossed in the trash. A book, about $3-5 for a small board book, will last a lifetime, and you can write a note on the inside cover. I do books as cards for all showers and birthday parties now, even if it's just a coloring book.

Plus, my friends and I are super into thrift stores, you can get a book for .25 in perfect condition, and none of us would ever bat an eye that is was from a thrift store.

I have been to a "diaper party" as well. The dad to be had a diaper party (co-ed) and the mom to be had the shower (co-ed) so essentially, they had two showers. The Diaper party was everyone bring a pack of diapers and we will provide a case of crap beer for you to enjoy. The shower was fun and classy-sh though.

Um what board books are you buying for $3? And where? Because on average board books cost about $6-$8. Also, what happens when you get 10 copies of Goodnight Moon all with written messages in them? Believe me I LOVE books and reading but I think it's quite rude to tell guests that cards aren't appreciated and to buy another gift. Also, I've saved all of my cards from my wedding and bridal shower.....so no cards aren't always tossed in the trash especially when they have a meaningful message.

Personally, I'd never give a gift from a thrift store. It's one thing to get something on sale, use coupons, etc. but I draw the line at thrift stores.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

GhostMonkey said:

Where the hell are you finding $3 board books? They are closer to $10.

If you want books, register for them.

This exactly. We want a ton of books so when we (hopefully) are pregnant and having a shower we'll register for books so they are gifts people choose vs. being told to give them in place of something else.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

ADH0906 said:

I have my first adult baby shower next week, and I'm so confused. It's for a coworker's wife...I barely know this guy. Our office is smallish (~40) but he's in a totally different department and I only see him in the hallway. We got an email that next Wednesday they're having a shower for his wife (does not work in the office) at noon! So, it's during work hours and I can't really skip it. The invitation was for the women of the office only. We're going out for lunch, then "coming back to the office, where *coworker* will open presents and show pictures of *coworker's wife*" ... wtf? She won't even be there? I work through lunch so that I can leave before traffic makes my one hour commute unbearable. Guess I'll stay 1.5 hours late so I can see pictures of your pregnant wife?
On the other hand, buying adorable baby stuff is awesome and lets out some of my baby-craziness. H had to give me a price limit because I would have totally gone overboard.
Why aren't after-baby showers a thing? Where you give presents AND get to meet the new baby?

Your coworker sounds like he's being gift grabby. I hate crap like that.

The after a baby is born party is called sip and sees around here....we do them in addition to a shower but presents aren't expected though most people bring something. It's a gathering where food and alcohol is provided and everyone comes to meet the baby and socialize.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

Hmmmm that's a good point though my family is huge and that's usually who attends a sip and see along with very close friends. We've never had anyone sick come to one or had any issues with a baby getting sick. Plus the new grandmother is usually at the door sanitizing everyone.

In my Italian-Catholic community we also baptize really early (like in the first 6 weeks of age) and have another big party and people are very good about not getting near the baby or even coming if sick.

ADH0906 · November 2013

I had a previous coworker who lost her baby about one week after her shower (extremely late in her pregnancy...she had an unknown genetic condition) and all that baby stuff laying around killed her. I hadn't considered the newborn immunity aspect... not superstitious at all, but gifts before baby always seems odd to me.

@Savannah2002 He's a very sweet guy, and I suspect he had nothing to do with the timing. I think he probably declined a weekend shower and the pushy receptionist that's hosting decided on a weekday. She may be too far along to come? Not sure. It's all very weird.

Savannah2002 · November 2013

My mother had two stillborn full term babies between me and my brother so my family is overly cautious. So I get the feeling of gifts before the arrival of a healthy baby is sometimes a strange feeling. We struggle with it in my family. My family, even before my mother's losses, was very superstitious (my dad's wasn't). I was the first child and all my parents had for me were a few rompers, a bassinet and a carseat. Everything else was given and purchased after I was born. Now that I'm trying to get pregnant it's hard on my mom and I know (once I hopefully get pregnant) it will be an issue to decide about a baby shower (not that I;d throw my own or anything but my aunts and mom would throw it).

Savannah2002 · November 2013

LIke I've said I have a large family. To do just immediate family and only women is about 55-60 people. Then to add in friends and if we did significant others it would be well over 75. My bridal shower was 125 women because our wedding was about 250 people. We're just a loud, large and happy family.

RunningJ · November 2013

I am on the fence about showers. They can be really fun if I'm close to the guest of honor, but depending on who throws it they can really take a turn for the worse, or be awesome. I like one game or two...but I detest a ton of games back to back. I also like when cocktails are offered, totally up to the host, but they get a fist bump if I get a mimosa. It makes gift opening tolerable (I like seeing a few presents but after a while it's like Groundhog's Day).

angeltennis3 · November 2013

I like tasteful showers. I just threw one for my friend and while I was looking at games, I couldn't believe how many horrible ones are out there. I would refuse to participate in a shower that made me look at melted chocolate in a diaper...eat or smell baby food...or ask baby questions of the mom or dad to be so everyone could laugh at their lack of knowledge as first time parents.

I actuall saw a shower idea that I loved! It was a coed shower that had optional games for those interested, and guests were supposed to bring unwrapped gifts that were displayed on a table with a name card saying who it was from so those who wanted to see the gifts could, but you didn't have to sit around for two hours watching the mom open gifts. I told my BFF if I ever get pregnant that's the kind of shower I want!

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