Facebook Drama

brandlebugg · November 2013

So, my last post I talked about how no one was RSVPing to my shower. My MIL asked me to reach out to the people we invited and try to get an RSVP. Hindsight is 20/20 and I realize I should have sent this is a private message but I just posted on my wall "To all my friends who got a shower invite and haven't RSVP'd, please do my MIL a solid and RSVP either today or tomorrow so that she can get an accurate count for food."

A few left comments like "Oh I should do that!," but one of my friends (not an incredibly close one either, mind you) commented "hope it's great." She didn't get an invitation to the shower because we hadn't spoken in nearly a year, and I didn't want to invite her to a party under the pretense of "gimme gifts." I didn't think too much of her comment, and the next thing I know, I wake up this morning and see the post where she left a comment and next to her name it says "8 mutual friends." She deleted me! Wtf? Would she have deleted me when I posted pics of the shower on FB and she realized that she wasn't invited? I sent her a private message just now and explained to her that the reason I didn't invite her is because I would rather have hung out with her without the expectation of her buying me a present. Apparently, by trying not to be rude, I was incredibly rude... enough to offend this friend and have her delete me off of facebook.

What would you guys think about this if it happened to you?

FemShep · November 2013

If you haven't spoken in nearly a year, it doesn't sound like you'll miss her friendship very much. You sent her a note, you learned your lesson about not posting publicly about a private event, and frankly, she's also overreacting; not everyone gets invited to every single event. So let it go and move on.

brandlebugg · November 2013

yeah I know you're right, FemShep, I'm just very non-confrontational and try to be nice to everyone... and it bothers me when people are upset with me. I know it shouldn't matter because we're not all that close... but for some reason, it does! But I agree with what you're saying.

lollipoppoop · November 2013

I wouldn't even worry about it. She sounds immature. I have "friends" that I talk to every week that I didn't invite to my shower. I side eye people who invite every single person they talk to anyways, it should be close friends and family not your entire fb friends list so I wouldn't worry about it.

dufferoo · November 2013

Deleting you might be a bit dramatic, but I think I'd be offended too if I were her. Of course you had no obligation to invite her, but it is a little rude to be talking about a party in front of a bunch of people who weren't invited. Sounds like you realize you were wrong to post that publicly, and you've reached out to atone so there's not much else you can do.

EastCoastBride · November 2013

Yeah, I agree w/ FemShep.

In this day and age of social media, it IS going to get out there that events take place that we aren't all invited too.

It's happened a couple times on FB where I see something took place that I wasn't invited to and sure, I might be a little upset and think "Why wasn't I invited?", BUT how you react is important. I DIDN'T get pissy w/ the person or delete them as a friend. I put my hurt aside and realized "Hey- there will be times I'm not invited, just like there are times when *I* don't invite "everyone".

This is why I think she's overreacting.

Tess024 · November 2013

Well, what was going to happen when you posted pictures? Was everyone not invited to the shower going to be offended you didn't invite them when they saw those?

If you weren't close, then she shouldn't have been expected to be invited... She was immature... but if you haven't talked in a while, then I wouldn't worry about no longer being FB friends.

brandlebugg · November 2013

I was thinking the same thing about pictures...

RebeccaY1 · November 2013

It's unfortunate that this happened, but if haven't spoken in a long time then does it really matter. Personally, I would have sent private messages since you might get a lot of people being upset that they weren't invited.

dufferoo · November 2013

Personally, I do think it's kinda gauche to post a bunch of baby shower pictures on facebook anyways. I mean, I know a lot of people do it, but I think it's a lot classier to pick maybe one or two cool pictures and send/e-mail/show them in person to whomever might take a particular interest in them. Most of your friends probably don't have much interest in seeing the whole reel!

shaunessa · November 2013

I don't have facebook, so I don't have Facebook drama! Sorry you're going through this, sounds like immature petty crap. I don't understand why people don't get this isn't kindergarten. You dont have to invite the whole freakin' class!

RibbitGrl930 · November 2013

I agree that she's being petty. It may been better for you to send that message to only people on the guestlist, but it's not like you were never going to talk about it- pictures, guests tagging you in their stauses when saying where they're going, etc.- so she would have seen that anyway and may have had a similar reaction. Seriously...who gets pissed off about not getting invited to a gift-giving event? If she wants to give you a gift, she can do that anyway, with or without a party to do so. I swear. In the immortal words of Sheldon Cooper, bitches be crazy.

Meery82 · November 2013

Did she ever respond to your private message?

brandlebugg · November 2013

Meery82 said:
Did she ever respond to your private message?

Nope, but it is what it is I guess.

chevronseven · November 2013

That's ridiculous. I have a friend who, although we don't keep in touch regularly, really hurt my feelings when she didnt invite me to her wedding. We had been friends since middle school and were pretty close in high school. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and the bouquet. She invited everyone else from our high school friends group, so I have no idea why she didnt invite me. But I did not unfriend her. Haven't even said anything to her about it. And that was a much bigger thing than a baby shower.

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