Failure to Thrive

natalie5851 · November 2013

My son is 7 months old. He's a happy, healthy baby boy. Hes crawling, babbling, pulling up to stand, and very adventurous. He's always been on the small side but the last couple months he had been gaining less and less weight. We were a little concerned but didn't think it was serious until we went to the doctor. He was in less than the 3rd percentile for both height and weight. We looked down at his medical papers and saw those three little words: Failure to thrive. It made me feel terrible. Like I failed as his mom. I work full time and have struggled with exclusively breastfeeding but I pump two bottles at work to give to him (my sister watches him during the day while I work). I used to get so worked up about 100% breastfeeding that i was ignoring the fact that he may need more than what I was able to pump. I realized at that point that him getting enough food was more important than exclusively breastfeeding. Now I give him two bottles of breastmilk and one bottle of formula. My doctor recommended 3 solid meals a day so were starting that as well. We used to only feed him 1-2 solid meals a day. People will always say "Well you could pump more, feed him more and your supply will increase." I have spent so much of the last 7 months strapped to a breast pump so that my little guy could have only breastmilk because I felt guilty. I think I got so caught up in the whole breastfeeding only thing I wasn't seeing the big picture. Some women are able to breastfeed, others decide to use formula and for many it's a combination of both. Im glad that now if I'm at work I don't stress about giving him some formula. Ok sorry, my rant is over I just felt the need to let that off my chest. I feel like sometimes us moms put so much stress and pressure on ourselves and others to be the "perfect" parent. We all love our children and want to do whats best for them and that's really all that matters. A little formula won't kill 'em

Hmschultz · November 2013

As long as you love your baby and feed your baby with love then you are doing A-Okay

I was also very caught up in the "breast is best" thing. After crying about how hard I was struggling to exclusively breast feed (I saw 6 LC and baby had 2 frenectomies as well as 2 SLP) my best friend told me one thing- "if your baby is hungry feed him". I started using formula to supplement and I never ever looked back.

Do I still feel bad about it? Yes, if anything it is my disappointment in the situation but my baby is super happy and healthy.

Congratulations for making it this far with pumping- that is your breastfeeding success story!

bumpuser5078523 · November 2013

I am in a very similar situation. My skinny guy was hanging in there around the 10th percentile with weight and dropped to the 6th and then two weeks later dropped under the 2nd. He lost 7 ounces in two weeks. I am now making sure he is nursing every two hours during the day and he gets solids about twice a day. His solids consist of banana greek yogurt, usually, mixed with sweet potatoes or mashed avocado. We have done this for over a week. I think he looks fatter, so I am hoping he is! I need to take him to the LC and weigh him again.

For the record, I think we just have active babies who burn a lot of calories. My LC isn't worried at all. I think some doctors will look at their charts and not at how the babies are growing and thriving. Don't let them get you worked up just because your baby isn't like "they" say he should be.

ETA: And, yes, I give him formula if I feel he didn't get enough to eat while nursing. I was stressing myself out about producing enough about a month before he lost weight and after realizing formula wasn't so bad, I am a lot less stressed! I hated pumping and then would feel bad because my stash was almost gone. A weight was lifted for me!

=Lee=B · November 2013

Sounds like your baby might be "failing to gain" but not failing to thrive. All the above you mention sounds like a perfectly healthy, happy little boy who is greatly loved. He just isn't gaining weight like the charts say he should. I'd be curious what charts they used. All the BF babies I know seem to greatly slow in gaining around 6months and level off. This is typically the time that formula fed babies start to gain (FF and BF have different growth curves). Using the wrong chart can make it look like there is a problem when there isn't.

Obviously work to get him gaining...but don't focus on the label "failure to thrive". Did the doctor mention this term to you or just write it down? There is a chance the doctor was just using doctor language to make a note of something to follow up on later. If he felt your baby was in serious trouble and was truly failing to thrive then they would be moral/legally required to discuss it with you, no?

There is nothing wrong with formula when needed. I EBF but with a preemie I needed to use formula to top up for the first 3 weeks. I have no regrets. It's what was need for my daughter (and for me).

LindseyLooMagoo · November 2013

First of all there is nothing wrong with formula period!.. My 8 month old has been fed formula from day one.. I was fed formula as a baby and so was my husband we turned out just fine. The guilt that people make you feel because you chose not to breastfeed is absolutely sickening and ridiculous. Your post makes it sound like you are giving your child formula as a last resort and really try not to give formula implying that there is something wrong with formula fed babies. While it is every woman's decision as to what's best for her baby, and I understand your want to breastfeed as there is so much emphasis on it in the last few years I think you probably should start giving more formula since your supply doesn't seem to be enough for your baby. Formula won't harm your baby or make you any less of a woman

PhieryBFly · November 2013

There is also the option of milk sharing. You could check your local Human Milk 4 Human Babies Facebook page or website to see if anyone would be able to help you. @LindseyLooMagoo, don't get defensive; OP is just trying to do what she feels is right for her family and is as entitled to her opinions as you are to yours.

hdall0807 · November 2013

First of all failure to thrive is a horrible term. It needs to be changed. I understand how you feel. There is so much pressure to Breastfeed and you feel so guilty when it doesn't workout. I EP for 6 months. Then started formula. Then I found out my daughter was allergic to milk/soy. We needed to go on hypoallergenic formula after she git horrible hives from different formulas. So trust me when I say I understand the guilt!

My daughter was born at 5lbs 15oz and was always the 5-8%. At 6 months she was 2%. She has not even gained a full pound since then yet and is 8.5 months. She has seen specialists and everything is normal and she is just small. She is not even close to having a % now. She is a fantastic eater

I think you just need to feed your daughter whatever she needs. And know that no matter what that it is it does not make you a failure. And her being labeled as failure to thrive does not equal failure as a mother. Our specialist said he does not believe in that term and he says kids are either- failure to gain, failure to grow (length) or both. My daughter is pulling to stand and is meeting all milestones. So she is thriving.

Not saying you should just shrug it off or that something is wrong that is restricting growth. Every child is sooo different. I hope you can figure everything out with your daughter. For me it was great relief to know they tested everything and determined she is ok.

PipSqueak0313 · November 2013

Also dealing with a case of FTT here. In ds's case it was because his appetite dropped and he stopped cueing hunger. When we switched from bf on demand to pumping and bottle feedings and then did weighted feedings at the breast all the while tracking his intake we realized that he had nursings that appeared to be full nursings but he only took in 1/4 -1/2 an ounce and that we were struggling to get him to eat more than 17-18 ounces per day without solids. His Pedi wants him to take in 20+ ounces plus solids.

Ds was 12lbs3oz at his 6 mo check up and he dropped down to 12lbs0oz the following week....he was 13lbs8oz at 8 months on Friday (on rented baby scale at home) and 13lbs5oz this morning. However, because he is on a special growth chart, he is between the 10th and 20th percentiles for weight.

cutiekels2 · November 2013

My DS was hanging around the 3rd percentile for the first six months of his life. He was projectile vomiting multiple times a day. I felt the same way as you do, that I had to only give him breast milk. I felt so guilty returning to work with him not gaining weight as quickly as his doctor would have liked. She sat me down and said I would like to give him two formula bottles a day and see if it helps. He is now in the 25th percentile for weight and 80% for height. You are doing a great job!

Crequito · November 2013

It is hard to start supplementing for some - we hear so much these days about BFing being the best. When I decided at 2 months that I wasn't making enough for DD so I was going to wean her to formula one of DHs uncles said "are you crazy, you're supposed to keep that baby on the breast for a year." Um, hello - who's the one with the boobs and who's the one who knows how exhausting it is to feed your LO aroud the clock because you're not making enough to satisfy her growing needs . . . oh yea not you. I haven't looked back since making the change and DD has thrived and is perfectly happy. I always see the same sentiment on a lot of BFing posts: Do what's best for you and your baby.

erinmc1 · November 2013

I induced lactation in order to breastfeed my son (he's adopted), but the hospital wouldn't allow me to breastfeed him until his birth mother was discharged, even though she was totally on board and he was in our room the entire time. Between that and poor latch from withdrawal, I lost a lot of supply in those first couple days. I pumped and was able to feed him at least one full meal of breast milk every day for the first month, and then I stopped pumping because I was just too exhausted to care for him and pump.

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