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Feel like DD cannot catch a break

pastaladypastalady member
in Special Needs
Yesterday DD had an incident at school. A boy put his arm around her and she freaked a little. Definitely not a meltdown but a few tears. The teachers calmed her down in 2 minutes according to her aide. We have very little incidents at school, especially because she has a full time aide. But it was enough that I had to stay and talk to the teachers about it. There really is no blame, they are in preschool. But the tone was very, oh yeah, another autism issue with touch etc. 

Then today DD went up to another little boy and asked if he wanted a hug. As she was asking she went in for one anyways lol. She is definitely a personal space invader and we are working on it. This kid freaked out. He is typical but he had a full meltdown. Again, the slant was it was DD's doing, her fault, how can we work on it.

Honestly I get it. We need to work on boundaries, personal space, etc. But two identical situations and she is blamed for both. I feel lately that when she does things even typical kids do autism is blamed. Like at music class last week even I did it. I told her to sit nicely in the circle while we waited for the teacher to start. All other kids were running around. Not crazy, just burning off energy. For some reason I wanted her to be perfect, maybe to prove to the teacher she can do it, I don't know. 

Anyways, anyone ever feel this way?
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Olivia Kate is almost 4!
Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
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Re: Feel like DD cannot catch a break

  • MendozamjwMendozamjw member
    Yep I'm with you! I get sick of hearing "oh that's typical of a child with autism"... Why can't it just be "oh that's typical of a 3 year old!" What you describe sounds typical to me! But what do I know! ;)
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  • nomadicanomadica member
    Yes! We just had our monthly meeting with the ABA therapy supervisor at DS's school. She immediately started talking about his "behavioral issues", which made me stand right at attention (because he's usually doing pretty well in school). The issues are DS acting silly and some non-compliance. So finally I asked, how severe is this? How far from typical behavior is this? Turns out she didn't really think it was outside typical 3 year old behavior, but because he has autism and we have these meetings, it definitely had the feeling of being a big deal.
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  • pastaladypastalady member
    Exactly, we just had our ISPP, which is like your IPP and silliness was mentioned in the contract lol! Like wtf, silliness? Sometimes I wonder if they just want longer contracts and they have to have so many goals for funding. I actually had them replace a goal of diminishing silly behavior for safety goals. That is way more important to me lol!
    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/30xit04.jpg[/IMG]
    Olivia Kate is almost 4!
    Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    pastalady said:
    Exactly, we just had our ISPP, which is like your IPP and silliness was mentioned in the contract lol! Like wtf, silliness? Sometimes I wonder if they just want longer contracts and they have to have so many goals for funding. I actually had them replace a goal of diminishing silly behavior for safety goals. That is way more important to me lol!

    I spent a good part of my day chasing DD2 around after she used the potty because she thought it was hilarious to run away from me so I couldn't put her pants on. We have a serious silliness problem in our house. I actually think it's a little odd that the boy in your DD's class would have a meltdown over being hugged. I've seen lots of unsolicited pre-school hugs and usually the huggee will either try to escape or push the hugger away. The NT kids that I know don't usually get upset about it. I think it's really good that your DD asked first.
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  • pastaladypastalady member
    It's funny but now I look for signs in other kids and this particular child has some red flags. I have volunteered in the preschool and even asked our aide if she saw anything. But he probably just had a rough day and DD does bear hugs. She is very sensory seeking and we are working on it lol!
    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/30xit04.jpg[/IMG]
    Olivia Kate is almost 4!
    Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
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  • bumpuser511563bumpuser511563 member
    edited November 2013
    I was at DS's daycare one afternoon and there was a boy that was 5 or 6 who poked me with a finger at my side of my stomach. I said hi to him.

    I walked over to make a payment at the front desk and the daycare teacher forewarned that this boy hugs a lot. I knew right away the boy had a sign of autism after she told me that. I told the daycare teacher "He is like DS. DS likes to hug, too!" She was astonished and admitted "yes, like DS."
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