CAN you ground a kid for life? (A Vent)

Re: CAN you ground a kid for life? (A Vent)

• +just+j+ member

  November 2013

  Um. I'm just going to keep this brief and to the point.  You have bigger issues. Get him to a counselor and find out what's going on.

  I suggest you go as well to learn coping skills and how to effectively punish/reward/parent your children. 

  "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

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• Littlejen22 member

  November 2013

  What would have happened if you did not intervene? Would he have killed his brother? This is beyond normal getting in trouble and I would be scared for him to be alone with another kid or pet.

  Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08

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• +just+j+ member

  November 2013

  By the way Veda...I looked back at your post history. A year ago in September, several people on the Parenting board advised that you get him into counseling.  You responded with "It's not for him."

  I STRONGLY SUGGEST you let a professional decide that.

  Good news. Before you say you can't afford it,  Obamacare supports financing mental health assistance.  Everyone will be able to afford and get proper help.

  Your son needs serious help. To not get it would be irresponsible in my opinion as a parent.

   

  "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

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• dannie2011 member

  November 2013

  +just+j+ said:

  By the way Veda...I looked back at your post history. A year ago in September, several people on the Parenting board advised that you get him into counseling.  You responded with "It's not for him."

  I STRONGLY SUGGEST you let a professional decide that.

  Good news. Before you say you can't afford it,  Obamacare supports financing mental health assistance.  Everyone will be able to afford and get proper help.

  Your son needs serious help. To not get it would be irresponsible in my opinion as a parent.

   

  This x 100. Please get professional help. 

  
  

  
  

    

  
  

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• Ilumine member

  November 2013

  VedaFlash said:

  Venting!  So lately our kids have been on a roll it seems.  Getting in trouble left and right.  One is grounded for bad grades currently, and every day since he has managed to do SOMETHING!  You're already in it enough, do you ever want to be un-grounded?  Last night, he had wrapped a scarf around his brother's neck and was choking him so hard there were marks when he got it off.  REALLY NOT OK!!  He is not being singled-out because all the kids have gotten in trouble more than usual.  I'm just giving one example of one of our kids.  We have 4.  

  
  

  DH and I first were scratching our heads, like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE KIDS?!!  Well, we decided that maybe we were doing something wrong, letting them get away with too much, not giving them enough attention, or maybe they're revolting because we made them step up with cleaning up after themselves?!  Well they're getting plenty of positive attention.  So we started talking about their behavior as of late.  It seems that we were just giving warnings and/or reminders over and over so we decided we need to take more action.  Time to take away privileges instead of telling them things.  One just got un-grounded over the weekend and got in trouble again on Wednesday.  One was just being told he was a goody-goody by someone one day and the next day he is in trouble.  I get it with the 3 year old, but even she seems to be doing better than her much older siblings!

  
  

  We have tried talking to them along with groundings and whatnot.  This is not fun for anyone.  It's better for everyone when we are all behaving well.  It's not clicking, it's not working, they're just not listening, I don't know.  I wonder if, since they saw a change in our actions regarding their bad behavior, maybe they are just testing us all over again?  Like, making sure we're serious?  Let's find out just how far we can go now?

  
  

  It's not like we never have fun anymore, but it seems either while or right after, someone's up to something!  It's like, well now I don't want to reward your naughtiness with fun!  But if we don't give them enough positive attention, they're gonna act out.  If you have any advice I'll take it.  Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing?  CAN I GROUND THEM ALL FOR LIFE??

  Crappy parenting.

  
  

  Your son, using a TOOL, strangled your other son hard enough and long enough to leave bruises and you are wondering what what is wrong with them?

  
  

  BTW - parents have lost their children for allowing them to be abused by other family members. Something to think about. 

  file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg

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• Pamelacake member

  November 2013

  I agree with therapy. Our boys play rough but in the beginning it was too much, DH and I can't ref 24/7 and it has helped a whole lot. It was anger issues that we had suspected but weren't sure they had and they were taking out on each other.

  

                                                     

                                 

   

  My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5 

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• SueBear member

  November 2013

  The boys have a mother who is a drug addict.  Of course they are angry, and are displaying their anger.  Your kids need therapy.  Kids don't act out for no reason at all.  Yes, being moody, know-it-all, messy are all frustrating and things that teens do.  Choking your sibling is not one of those things. 

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