First time mom about to have a breakdown :( please help

drake23 · November 2013

My baby just turned 3 months and is not a good sleeper. He refuses to sleep in his crib. He is currently in a Rock n play in our room and is so restless at night starting at about midnight. He will wake up 2-3 sometimes 4 times a night and when he is sleeping he is so restless that I can't sleep anyways..... I try to get him to nap every 90 mins during the day but I'm lucky if I get a solid hour in a row from him. I see all these posts about babies who sleep well or who wake up with smiles and that just isn't my baby. I'm open to try anything....I'm so exhausted and feel like a first time mom who is doing all the wrong things.... Please help

youtubebeauties · November 2013

First, breathe!
Second, you're doing the best you can -- don't be so hard on yourself!
Third, try Merlin Magic sleepsuit (you can find it on Amazon). Lots of ladies on the A13 board swear by this.

Hang in there!

pinottoparenthood · November 2013

Pretty sure @karieckart is a spammer troll, ignore!

Sorry you are struggling so much. All you can do is keep putting LO down at the first signs of sleepiness, swaddle if that works, use white noise, play soft music,whatever works. This is awful but our man went through a phase around three months where he wouldn't nap at all and we put him down for naps on his tummy for awhile (never at night). It gets much better with time, but I know that when it's happening it feels impossible! Sleep when you can. I used to nurse LO side lying in bed during the day and we would both nap together. I still do this for MOTN feedings. Hope it gets better soon!

smrunnels · November 2013

My 5 month old was similar but would sleep in her crib. She's still up at least 3 times a night. Try sitting in the bathroom with the water in the tub running. DD would scream for hours because of gas and that was the only that would help her fall asleep. She'd fall asleep instantly some nights when I sat in there with her.

Caitable25 · November 2013

. Hang in there I know it gets better. 3 months is still little - my little dude didn't start STTN until well into his 3 months and now he's back to up at least once for a feeding. I wish I had some words of wisdom! I'm a FTM too. Liam is in his rnp every night - We started to crib transition this past weekend but then he got this awful cold so he's back in the rnp until he kicks it. The merlins magic sleepsuit definitely helps btw. It's great - he will get a 5-7 hr stretch in the crib in it (only issue is that he can't get to his thumb in it). Other than that we do white noise.

The one thing I can guarantee you is that your are not doing anything wrong! Every baby is different. Some wake up happy, some wake up like madmen. Mine is also a nap ninja. Our nanny/pedi said they should nap every 2 hours so maybe try stretching those out instead of every 90 mins? I also know being out in the fresh air tires him out a ton.

I think you should also take a break! Do you have someone who could watch the baby for a day so you can just sleep or have time to yourself. Even a few hours to me makes a huge difference. Anyway sorry for the long response - hope your feeling better. Feel free to PM anytime

steelerbaby29 · November 2013

I agree with putting baby down at first signs of being tired. This makes a huuuge difference! My son is ready for a nap after being up for 90 minutes and he is 5 months old, maybe your LO is just getting overly tired at 90 minutes, try putting him down sooner and see what happens.

Is your son waking up to eat 4 times a night? If so he may not be getting enough feedings during the day. Just a suggestion but maybe try putting the rock n play in his room during the day for naps to help him get used to his room. I think putting him down sooner will help and then you could start to try to transition to the crib.

jlpev · November 2013

steelerbaby29 said:
I agree with putting baby down at first signs of being tired. This makes a huuuge difference! My son is ready for a nap after being up for 90 minutes and he is 5 months old, maybe your LO is just getting overly tired at 90 minutes, try putting him down sooner and see what happens.
Is your son waking up to eat 4 times a night? If so he may not be getting enough feedings during the day. Just a suggestion but maybe try putting the rock n play in his room during the day for naps to help him get used to his room. I think putting him down sooner will help and then you could start to try to transition to the crib.

This. Every baby is different & once you think you've got a good schedule she/he will change it up. My DS was a huge cat napper but DD isn't which is great but he slept through the night at 2 months & DS isn't at 5 months. I've given up on comparing the 2. They are totally different.
DD is teething which has been jacking with naps. Yesterday was only 45 minutes all day. Long day!!
As for the crib. It might be a hard transition but will be worth it in the end. My kids always slept better in their crib than in the bassinet.
Good luck!! You are not alone.

karieckart · November 2013

pinottoparenthood is so rude! I am trying to help! Wow! I flagged you for abuse!

karieckart · November 2013

This is my girl in her zipadee and this is me with my baby.

karieckart · November 2013

taraleanne · November 2013

steelerbaby29 said:

I agree with putting baby down at first signs of being tired. This makes a huuuge difference! My son is ready for a nap after being up for 90 minutes and he is 5 months old, maybe your LO is just getting overly tired at 90 minutes, try putting him down sooner and see what happens.
Is your son waking up to eat 4 times a night? If so he may not be getting enough feedings during the day. Just a suggestion but maybe try putting the rock n play in his room during the day for naps to help him get used to his room. I think putting him down sooner will help and then you could start to try to transition to the crib.

I agree! I also need to put my nearly 5m old back to bed for first nap around 90 minutes after waking. The best naps happen BEFORE the yawning occurs. You need to watch for baby to start being disinterested in playing, staring off into space etc...

Is he comfortable in the rock and play? Around 4 months they start to move around a lot. My son sleeps way better now that he has room to move in his crib. You might need to work on that transition soon- start with naps. I would refrain from swaddling or other sleeping gadgets that they wear around this age because like I said, they really start to move around (my son is ALL over the crib now) and it's not something that will be easy to break from in a few months when he's older.

Basically you just need to be consistent and of course try to put him down before he gets overtired. Insufficient day time restorative naps also lead to night wakings but if he's feeding over night, that's still common too- but waking for other reasons could be uncomfortable or overtired at bedtime.

Good luck!! It's hard, but your persistence and patience will pay off

karieckart · November 2013

This is as big as I can make the pictures of me and Ava. Ugh! I hate having to prove myself! Anyways, the zipadeezip worked wonders for my extremely squirmy, restless baby!

taraleanne · November 2013

@karieckart

I've never heard of this zipadeezip thing! It sort of looks like a sleep sack? Looks like she can move around no problem? No frustrating wake-ups due to being restricted if she wants to roll around or squirm to the other side of the crib?

Edit: just googled it. Cool product!! Sounds like a really good way to move from the swaddle. My son never slept swaddled and seemed to transition super easy from his bassinet to his crib with no problems but he was just easy that way. however...It took me alot of work to GET him to sleep some nights but we're over that now. Had I known about this product, I might have given it a go! I think this is definitely a good way to transition from a swaddle.

MrsArrow · November 2013

CaitlinEbbs25 said:

. Hang in there I know it gets better. 3 months is still little - my little dude didn't start STTN until well into his 3 months and now he's back to up at least once for a feeding. I wish I had some words of wisdom! I'm a FTM too. Liam is in his rnp every night - We started to crib transition this past weekend but then he got this awful cold so he's back in the rnp until he kicks it. The merlins magic sleepsuit definitely helps btw. It's great - he will get a 5-7 hr stretch in the crib in it (only issue is that he can't get to his thumb in it). Other than that we do white noise. The one thing I can guarantee you is that your are not doing anything wrong! Every baby is different. Some wake up happy, some wake up like madmen. Mine is also a nap ninja. Our nanny/pedi said they should nap every 2 hours so maybe try stretching those out instead of every 90 mins? I also know being out in the fresh air tires him out a ton. I think you should also take a break! Do you have someone who could watch the baby for a day so you can just sleep or have time to yourself. Even a few hours to me makes a huge difference. Anyway sorry for the long response - hope your feeling better. Feel free to PM anytime

My sons name is Liam too! My Liam (5 months on11/6) just started STTN this week. He rolled over on Friday to his tummy and went out like a like! I was nervous at first, but he can roll both ways and has great head control. Sometimes he scoots into the crib slats and needs some readjusting, but other than that...I am now getting anywhere from 7-12 of sleep! It will get easier. My fourth month with Liam was just dreadful...I wanted to just take a giant sleeping pill and sleep for 16 hours! lol You can do it!

karieckart · November 2013

Right back at you Nicb13... lol!

Caitable25 · November 2013

MrsArrow said:

CaitlinEbbs25 said:

. Hang in there I know it gets better. 3 months is still little - my little dude didn't start STTN until well into his 3 months and now he's back to up at least once for a feeding. I wish I had some words of wisdom! I'm a FTM too. Liam is in his rnp every night - We started to crib transition this past weekend but then he got this awful cold so he's back in the rnp until he kicks it. The merlins magic sleepsuit definitely helps btw. It's great - he will get a 5-7 hr stretch in the crib in it (only issue is that he can't get to his thumb in it). Other than that we do white noise.

The one thing I can guarantee you is that your are not doing anything wrong! Every baby is different. Some wake up happy, some wake up like madmen. Mine is also a nap ninja. Our nanny/pedi said they should nap every 2 hours so maybe try stretching those out instead of every 90 mins? I also know being out in the fresh air tires him out a ton.

I think you should also take a break! Do you have someone who could watch the baby for a day so you can just sleep or have time to yourself. Even a few hours to me makes a huge difference. Anyway sorry for the long response - hope your feeling better. Feel free to PM anytime

My sons name is Liam too! My Liam (5 months on11/6) just started STTN this week. He rolled over on Friday to his tummy and went out like a like! I was nervous at first, but he can roll both ways and has great head control. Sometimes he scoots into the crib slats and needs some readjusting, but other than that...I am now getting anywhere from 7-12 of sleep! It will get easier. My fourth month with Liam was just dreadful...I wanted to just take a giant sleeping pill and sleep for 16 hours! lol You can do it!

Ahh! I love the name

. And I am not hoping my Liam takes your Liam's lead and gives me a 12 hr stretch next month!

tinydancerpammy · November 2013

Johnson's Bedtime lotion. I have been giving my little boy a massage with this lotion since we brought him home and he has always slept through the night. Be sure to rub it on his little head, too. One night I forgot that and he was up again almost immediately. Just remember- this too shall pass.

jlpev · November 2013

tinydancerpammy said:
Johnson's Bedtime lotion. I have been giving my little boy a massage with this lotion since we brought him home and he has always slept through the night. Be sure to rub it on his little head, too. One night I forgot that and he was up again almost immediately. Just remember- this too shall pass.

My DD loves massages too! I use different j&j lotion tho. I alternate bath nights but I always massage her. She doesn't always sttn but she only wakes up once.

WeAreSmalls · November 2013

Sleep can be so frustrating. When you say your baby wakes up 2 or 3 times a night is he crying or just babbling? If I hear one of my boys making noise during the night I don't get up to check on them unless they are crying....and I don't get up at the first sound even if it is a cry. Sometimes they may cry for 3 seconds but then they are quiet and go back to sleep. I think allowing a baby to do some self-soothing leads to better sleep overall. Three months is young and I'm not suggesting a full on cry-it-out method just a little time to figure out if your baby is doing something that needs attenion. I also suggest transitioning to a crib as soon as possible. My daughter was a noisy sleeper and so is one of my sons. I realized early on with DD that I would not get good sleep if she stayed in our room so she was in her crib after about a week. I read Happiest Baby on the Block when DD was a baby and got a lot of good tips from it.

chilie260 · November 2013

I am a first time mom too and I had the same problem! I thought I was doing everything wrong! At first it was stuck gas! So I started her on those drops to relieve it. It worked for a while. Then it started again and it was my breast were producing enough milk to keep her full so I started breastfeeding and formula to supplement. That worked for a while. Then it was the formula so now I have her on soy formula. It's more gentle on the tummy. Also at three months I started her on a schedule : bath or wipe down ( nighttime johnson and Johnson is awesome), a warm bottle, read a book on the rocking chair and bed time. My baby doesn't sleep in the crib at night either. She is 3 1/2 months. I am done being hard on myself. She is still young. I let her sleep in our room in play yard. But what I am doing is putting her to nap in the crib during the day to get her started. And it's working! Try it. Once she is eating solids and is a bit older I will go the next step.

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