OB thinks I am crazy. Seriously.

arice76 · November 2013

I want to first thank everyone on the board for all the supportive comments on my last post, this one. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12133370/ob-change-a-bit-of-venting-and-advice-welcome#latest. This post explains most of my issues with my OB, so I'm not going to go much further into them in this post. I do have an appointment in 2 weeks with another practice, so hopefully that goes OK, and I won't have to visit this doctor any longer.

Well, let me first start this by stating that I have had some minor complaints lately (yeast infection, visual changes), and I have been in to the office a lot. I'm a high risk patient, with controlled HPB and am 37 years old. I do call a lot and have a bunch of questions, and I am sure I am annoying as hell as far as patients go. At the same time, this is the doctor where most of my regular visits consist of him asking me "Do you have any questions?" and that's about it. So, of course I have a lot of questions.

I also see a cardiologist for rapid heart rate and PVCs. It has been established that I have both of these issues, but that they are nothing to worry about during the pregnancy.

So, I went in two days ago because the yeast infection will not go away, I also had a bit of spotting. He told me to take more yeast infection meds, and didn't even take a look at me. This annoyed the hell out of me, so I called back and asked to see the nurse practitioner the next day. Ends up the doctor decided he did want to see me, and I went in this morning.

Turns out, he called and spoke to my cardiologist, and they have both (supposedly) decided that I have OCD and need to see a psychiatrist. I admittedly do have some anxiety issues (that I have mentioned to him before). I was on a low dose of Prozac for several years, but came off of it about 2 years ago and have been OK.

What struck me most was how my OB decided to diagnose me with OCD, pretty much is worried about me and the baby, and from what I gathered, is worried about my ability to be a mother. He says he thinks I am having all these symptoms, but that I have everyone caught in a "web", and if something is really wrong, he won't know what to look for. He says it has gone way past "the boy who cried wolf". Seriously, he said that. It happened. He repeatedly said he doesn't think I am crazy, but he sure was quick to diagnose me with a mental disorder. I tried to defend myself, but in the end I just sat there and cried.

I have to say, I feel like much of my anxiety comes from having him as my doctor. I see his point about seeing a a psychiatrist, but I felt so ambushed, judged, and embarrassed. I really have no other reason to write this except I feel very alone and judged. I wish my husband had been there with me. My husband has seen first hand how lacking he is in so many ways.

Thanks for listening.

blackbettieberrie · November 2013

Omg. I don't even know what to say. What a jackass. Sorry you had to go through that. Even if he was right, you'd think he'd have more tact, especially with a pregnant woman. So glad you're looking for somebody else.

arice76 · November 2013

Thank you very much

arice76 · November 2013

Thank you

sdlaura · November 2013

I think if you don't feel comfortable with your doctor, you switch. The reasons that you don't feel comfortable really aren't that important, though it does seem that your doctor has overstepped his bounds in a lot of ways.

The only thing about your post that makes me think that maybe you should take his advice about seeing a psychiatrist seriously is that it appears that there are two medical professionals (including your cardiologist) who think that it may benefit you. Assuming that your OB was not lying about your cardiologist agreeing. For many women with anxiety issues, the postpartum period is really rough. It might be a good idea to find someone now, so that you have that resource for after birth.

ShePersisted · November 2013

Sorry you are going through this. I obviously cannot judge the situation but it does shock me that he just decided to not see you without proper recommendation or discussion to a psychiatrist. I think it is wise to see another Dr. and hopefully they will provide you with the needed advise and guide you in the right direction.

arice76 · November 2013

Thanks for the advice. What is weird to me is that I haven't seem my cardiologist that much during the pregnancy (2 visits when my heart rate was super high, then I wore a holter monitor and they found PVCs. I had to take a trip to the ER when my heart rate was 147 and I was sick). I didn't argue their advice, and rarely contact them. It's just odd to me that he agrees with the OB, but perhaps I just give off that worry wart vibe. Who knows.

Winnieella · November 2013

I'm sorry. I agree with finding a new OB. I know I give off the worry wart vibe too, but I have never had a doctor call me OCD.

lalaith50 · November 2013

are they even allowed to do that? (one doctor talk to another about you without your knowledge?)

tenfour · November 2013

I am so sorry! Switch switch switch!

arice76 · November 2013

I'm switching for sure

I've had a few hours to think about this morning, and what gets me the most was his crappy approach to the discussion. Why not sit down with me (instead of standing on the other side of the room), and ask me how I am doing, if I am feeling anxious, and so on. Not, "Well, I discussed you with your cardiologist and we have both decided you have OCD and need to see a psychiatrist" I could have handled a sit down discussion, but this was way, way out of line. In my humble opinion

Mazingmommyof6 · November 2013

I am so sorry he is so harsh. I have one thing to say

YELP review

dbr018 · November 2013

Sorry that you're going through this. What an asshole! Glad u are seeing a new ob.

LibbyVille · November 2013

This may be an unpopular opinion. I don't mean for it to be harsh.

I am sorry he handled it in the way he did. It sucks that he wasn't more tactful about his concerns. However, if 2 doctors have noticed your anxiety, I would definitely see a psychiatrist. I don't think he should have said you had OCD. As an OB, he probably sees lots of nervous first time mothers to be and your behavior stands out in some way for him to be voicing his concerns.

I also struggle with anxiety and can be a total hypochondriac. Luckily, my husband is usually able to help me come back down to reality. For me, sometimes this board can ramp up my anxiety. I have to be careful not to read posts about GD, PTL and pre-e because I will psyche myself into thinking I am having similiar symptoms. Also, to me it seems that some women on this board go to the ER whenever they have the littlest after hours concern. Some of the posts make it sound normal to go to the ER during pregnancy when you should only be going in case of an actual emergency. In many of the ER posts, it sounds like people should have just used a little common sense, rested and had more water.

LibbyVille · November 2013

njb750 said:

A lot of FTM don't know what may constitute as an emergency. Bright red bleeding at 4:30am -- I went to the ER because I didn't know wtf was going on. Not all pregnant women are a plethera of knowledge and you can't just say "Use your common sense". Sense goes out the window when you realize their is a potential medical emergency going on. Also medical knowledge is not often a part of the average person's common sense. I'm an RN and I still went to the ER because I was scared something was happening to my unborn child and I needed to know LO was ok. Sorry -- that just rubbed me wrong. I'm not trying to be a wench I promise.

Also for OP: she had visual changes which is a s/s of pre-eclampsia. She had a legit concern and her doctor told her she had OCD. I would consider whatever it is my doctor has suggested, but pre-e is a big deal and it's not something to be pushed under the rug.

I would totally go for bright red bleeding. I meant that her symptoms in her earlier post (chills, slight fever, back and pelvic pain, elevated heart rate, and so on) and in some other posts I have read don't sound very serious.

Mendozamjw · November 2013

My OB's bedside manner is questionable at times too... But I know that he is brilliant at delivering babies, which is most important to me. When I have questions, I tend to just ask the nurse practitioner, as she's much more understanding. Perhaps you could take that route? That being said, if you have anxiety issues, I would definitely look into it now. As pp stated, the postpartum period can be rough with anxiety. I would speak to your general doctor about it first, then come up with a plan from there. His delivery sucked but maybe he had a point? Just my opinion... Good luck with everything!!

arice76 · November 2013

njb750 I understand what you are saying. I've never had a sit down with the cardiologist a far as anxiety, but I was simply told that if my heart rate goes above 120 (it was over 140), go to the ER. I did, it was late at night, and it woke me out of sleep. It was most likely just dehydrated, and that was what was causing a lot of the symptoms. But, how would I know any differently? I am human, and was trying to care for my baby and myself.

The doctor's visit today was seriously out of line. The comments, the way I was addressed, and so on. Like I said, if he has addressed his concerns with any kind of kindness or simply asked how I felt emotionally and had an actual dialogue with me, than I would feel differently.

arice76 · November 2013

And yes, I do plan on talking to my general practitioner about my anxiety and getting a referral to a counselor. I feel like I have given the impression that I have crippling anxiety, and this is not the case at all. I am generally a happy person, I run two small businesses, and my husband and I are excited about our little girl! But, I am sure it would not hurt to talk to someone about my concerns.

arice76 · November 2013

njb750LibbyVille! I am such a newbie on the board. Thank you for your support. I agree in one way or another with everyone's thoughts on this matter, and I appreciate the advice.

Kedra231 · November 2013

I'd find another OB. If he/she asks about why you're changing, I'd mention the lack of concern/checks when you reported the on-going yeast infections & eye sight changes. If you're worried about their opinion (if you need to explain your reasons for switching) take your DH so he can back you up, not just with the lack of care you've received, but also the fact that you've only seen the cardiologist twice, & both times actually HAD an issue.

I'd also like to point out that a little bit more involvement/interest in your condition by your doctor would be a great way to relieve any anxiety; the less time, care, & interest he shows, of course the more worried, confused, & anxious you'll feel. You may have some issues in that department, but, a doctor's bedside manner goes a long way to either helping, or making things worse, and it sounds like your doctor is not really interested in doing his job, (Part of which is soothing first time mom's, high-risk or not).

It's very strange that as a high-risk patient they haven't done more than just ask if you have any concerns. (I hope they've been measuring your belly & using the doppler for every appt). The attitude alone justifies changing doctors, but the lack of care, seriously, how hard is it to swab & see if it's a real yeast infection or possibly bacterial vaginosis? Yeah. NEW doctor, NOW. GL.

eta spelling fix

arice76 · November 2013

Kedra231 thank you. Yea, when I got out of the hospital and had my 4 week check 4 days later, he did not measure or check the baby.I had to make him check the baby's heartbeat. I guess he figured I'd been monitored enough? But, it sure didn't make me feel good. He might have measured me once the whole time I've seen him, but the nurse practitioners always do.

RondackHiker · November 2013

arice76 said:
And yes, I do plan on talking to my general practitioner about my anxiety and getting a referral to a counselor. I feel like I have given the impression that I have crippling anxiety, and this is not the case at all. I am generally a happy person, I run two small businesses, and my husband and I are excited about our little girl! But, I am sure it would not hurt to talk to someone about my concerns.

I don't think you've sounded like you had crippling anxiety at all! I do tend to think most people would benefit from talking to someone and since you're high risk and have had a bad doctor experience you've got a lot of stress and anxiety is normal! That doesn't mean it can't be helped, though.

Your OB is a total ass. I'm sorry.

LibbyVille · November 2013

Avswolf said:This totally made me stabby. When in doubt, call your doctor. When your doc isn't available, go to urgent Care or the ER. What might be common sense for you is something unknown to somebody else. Why would you judge somebody for wanting to make sure their LO is ok???????? I lost a baby because of a "common sense" thing that turned out not to be. I waited, because I didn't want to look silly. And you probably would have told me to rest and drink more water because it really wasn't anything as dramatic as pain or bleeding. But I lost my baby because I didn't want to go for nothing.

I am sorry about my original post sounded. I was mostly speaking about how my own anxiety can be affected by scary posts. My panic attacks and anxiety are much worse during pregnancy. Because I am highly suggestable and over anyalize every phsycial symptom I am having, I have to be careful to avoid posts that might trigger my own anxiety about my pregnancy symptoms. Obviously everyone should do what they think is best for their bodies and their babies. I also didn't read carefully enough about how the OP is high risk when I first posted. I am so sorry for your loss.

magentawarped · November 2013

Okay, first off, as someone who actually has OCD, it doesn't sound like you have it. You sound like a pregnant woman with a little higher than normal anxiety level. Maybe if your OB spent more time talking about your concerns and less time rushing you through appointments, you wouldn't get as worked up over things. Tell him to do his damn job, but not on you, because you're going elsewhere.

keags5496 · November 2013

Sorry your doc was such a douche! You didn't come off as OCD at all to me. A nervous FTM maybe, but who isn't? I hope your new OB is better to you. If I were you I'd make sure I had a support system in place post partum just in case, but I do that anyways:)

calimama2007 · November 2013

I really hope you can find an OB that is receptive to your concerns asap!

amerk1107 · November 2013

You should tell this doctor to fuck off. As somebody who HAS OCD, it's offensive that he thinks that it will impair your ability to parent IF you even have it. I would have kicked his ass to the curb and found a Dr. who gave a rats ass long before now, especially since that would have kicked my anxiety (which I admit probably should be medicated) into over drive. I'm sorry he has made you feel alienated and alone and like you're crazy but, let me assure you that you aren't. He seems completely insensitive and a total prick, and I hope your appt with the new Dr goes well and that you never go back to this dr again!

slwprincess · November 2013

Yeah, I agree with everyone else- you need a new doc ASAP. Clearly it's not a good fit and honestly, he sounds like a jerk. But with that said, I have a couple thoughts that I don't think anyone else has mentioned... when I'm pregnant, my OB has told me that SHE is my General Practitioner. She wants to see me first and then she will refer me elsewhere if necessary. It's a request that she makes of all her OB patients as she describes herself as a "control freak" who wants to know what is going on with her patients. So from that angle, I don't think it is at all strange for an OB to make a suggestion of seeing a psychiatrist. BUT, since your OB clearly never told you to treat him as your GP and he doesn't really seem to want to know what's going on with his patients coupled with the WAY that he told you to see a psychiatrist seems completely rude and unprofessional, that's not a benefit of the doubt that I'm willing to give him. But like others have said, I also wouldn't totally disregard the suggestion either. I am pretty sure that I had undiagnosed Post Partum Anxiety after DD. I know I mentioned my anxiety levels to my doc but I don't think I described it accurately enough and may have minimized it myself b/c I honestly didn't know such a thing existed (I knew about PP depression but had never heard of PP Anxiety until just recently). This time, I have already mentioned it to my doc and we have a plan in place if I start feeling that way again. It is still so sad to me that I basically "missed" that first year of her life b/c I was so wrapped up in my own anxiety. It was a vicious cycle of normal mommy stress, leading to not normal anxious reaction, leading to more stress for my whole family, leading to more mommy stress and it just escalated so quickly. So bottom line here is get a new OB. But don't ignore anxiety issues because it can really get soooo much worse in the post partum period and you need to have a plan in place to deal with it at that time.

KaraLeigh115 · November 2013

This guy is a complete jackass. If you do get switched and see another doctor (which I hope your appt goes well for that) you should make one last appt with this douche and tell him how you feel! Seems like he doesn't care about anything except how many patients he can get in and out!!!
I'm sorry you have to go through this. You and your OB relationship should be a comfortable one. Hell you are trusting them at a crucial time!! I hope everything gets better!
::hugs::

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