Secondary IF

DDF! (Dear Diary Friday)

Yes. We made it through ANOTHER week. Let 'em rip ladies. 


Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011

Trying for #2 since Oct 11
732973 Clomid Cycles
2 IUIs 
3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



BabyFruit Ticker

Re: DDF! (Dear Diary Friday)

  • Dear Mother Nature, 


    Fuck you and your A.D.D weather. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Dear Diary, 


    Follistim gives me WINGS- like redbull. I have so much energy on this crap! I want to go run a marathon. Whoopie. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Dear Diary, 

    I gained 15 disgusting pounds since going to the RE for the first time in Sept. yup- you read that right, not even 3 months ago. Now I've managed to take off 4 of those pounds in the past week and a half- I would love to take off that last 11 before Thanksgiving aka. 20days from now LOL 


    Writing that out seems so funny. I love a good outrageously, unreasonable goal. Anyway this gives me something to occupy my mind with for a while. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Dear Diary,
    Why, why, WHY is my 5yr old being so damn difficult this week???!!! It's just hair brushing, it's not the end of the world. You won't need immediate medical treatment afterwards. So just let me brush your effing hair!!!

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

  • Jen071407 said:
    Dear Diary, I almost forgot. I'm 2dpo/dpiui today, soooo am I KTFU or what?! Sincerely, Iwanttoknowyesterday
    YES! THE ANSWER IS YES! 



    OR ELSE 
    :ar! :ar! :ar!


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker

  • Jen071407 said:
    Dear Diary, Why, why, WHY is my 5yr old being so damn difficult this week???!!! It's just hair brushing, it's not the end of the world. You won't need immediate medical treatment afterwards. So just let me brush your effing hair!!!
    I am so with you on this one. My DD is also 5 and ends up looking like a neglected child because her daddy lets her wear whatever she wants to school (matching be damned) and getting a brush near her hair is a struggle every.single.day. Oh and she screams bloody murder when I even try.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

  • Dear Diary,

    This 2ww is gettin on my damn nerves, along with everything and everybody else. Get it over with all ready......Yes or No?? I don't know if I can hang on til Monday. I am now 11dpiui and I don't remember being this impatient during my 2ww with IVF. 

    Oh and mother in law, when you watch the kid today try not to eff it up.

    TTC for 1.5 years with a crappy RE. 12 cycles with clomid (11 too many)
    New RE, 3 failed IUI's moving to IVF with ICSI
    IVF#1 BFP EDD 1/10/13
    Beta#1 51  Beta #2 148
    A/S 8/20/13 Team Pink
    Induced week 39 due to severe GD
    Baby girl born 1/4/13

           TTC #2 2 failed IUI's moving on to FET 3/2014
    ET 3/25 
    Beta #1 127
    Beta #2 845
    U/s 4/22 It's TWINS!!
    Team Purple!!

            Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker          

                   image
  • Dear Diary,

    Why does my child pick bratty kids to like to play with? She had a friend over last night who was way out of control jumping and standing on my furniture, getting my dogs riled up and then saying that they bit her (which they did not) and telling my child that she isn't good at basically anything. If that was my child, I would never allow her to talk to her friends that way and give her a good swift kick in the ass. Here's hoping to meeting better friends next year!

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

  • Dear Diary Why can't we know instantly if we conceived. Enough of the 2 ww. The gross vag suppositories! I just want fun sex again. No more worrying about. Timing. No worrying about when to put my meds in!
    BFP #1 4/6/09; EDD 12/6/09; miscarriage 4/10/09..............BFP #2 5/3/09; DD born 1/9/10........BFP #3 12/15/12, EDD 8/31/13; baby stopped growing at 5w3d; natural miscarriage..........BFP #4 2/8/13, EDD 10/20/13; missed miscarriage discovered 9w2d; d/c.......BFP #5 10/22/13, EDD 7/8/13; miscarriage 10/28/13..... BFP #6 11/19/13; DS born 7/29/14 {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker} {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker}
  • Dear Diary,

    I am loathing the fact that I have to test tomorrow at 10DPO.  One, because I don't want to look at a fuckin BFN and I'm pretty sure that's what I'll be looking at. But I need to do it to give my peace of mind that it's ok to go out and drink. Two, it's the only HPT I have and I hate to waste it so early!  To think this time last year I had just found out I was KU...I'm sad and keep having these horrible feelings that we will never have a child together. Which would make me very very sad. I know God has a plan for us...it's just so hard to let it go and accept whatever happens.  I finally told DD that Idk if we will have a baby, that ultimately it's up to God and there's not much I can do about it. She was upset but said, "well, if we keep praying God will give us one eventually. Maybe he's making it right now".

    =((

     


    BFP #1 ended in MMC. Discovered Oct 2005 @10w5d, baby stopped growing around 6w. D&C.
    BFP#2 Nov 2005. Baby's heart stopped @ 8w3d. D&C Jan 2006. Trisomy 18
    BFP#3 Nov 2006. My "miracle baby" DD born 7/25/07
    BFP #4 11/6/12. EDD 7/16/13~my birthday! No sac found @ 5w1d, betas not increasing. Natural m/c started 11/20/12.

    BFP#5 11/9/13.  EDD 7/21/14  Our beautiful rainbow born on his due date!!

  • Jen071407 said:
    Dear Diary, I almost forgot. I'm 2dpo/dpiui today, soooo am I KTFU or what?! Sincerely, Iwanttoknowyesterday
    YES! THE ANSWER IS YES! 



    OR ELSE 
    :ar! :ar! :ar!
    I love you. 

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image


  • Jen071407 said:
    Dear Diary, Why, why, WHY is my 5yr old being so damn difficult this week???!!! It's just hair brushing, it's not the end of the world. You won't need immediate medical treatment afterwards. So just let me brush your effing hair!!!
    I am so with you on this one. My DD is also 5 and ends up looking like a neglected child because her daddy lets her wear whatever she wants to school (matching be damned) and getting a brush near her hair is a struggle every.single.day. Oh and she screams bloody murder when I even try.
    It's like they're the same person! We have a rule that Mom gets to pick out clothes MWF (preschool days) and they can wear whatever the eff they want the other days. I've also threatened to cut DD1's hair like a boy if she can't take care of it! 

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

  • Dear diary (this is a sad one be warned)

    Tomorrow would have been my due date. Thank goodness I just ended AF today so I know I'm not KU and can self medicate with wine!
  • tache said:

    Dear diary (this is a sad one be warned)

    Tomorrow would have been my due date. Thank goodness I just ended AF today so I know I'm not KU and can self medicate with wine!

    ((Hugs)) I know I'm dreading that date. Enjoy your wine!

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

  • @Jen071407 I actually convinced DD to get her hair cut and she did have 3 inches chopped off. Unfortunately because she takes a bath/shower at night, she has bed head and her hair looks extremely unkempt. I am the mom that arrives at preschool finally looking at my child (after running around trying to get out of the house) and see that 1. her hair isn't brushed 2. her clothes are on backwards and 3. I forgot to grab a jacket. I usually get at least one side eye from another mother in the morning.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

  • Dear Diary,
    I started my new job this week and I really think I'm going to like it. But it would be GREAT if I could actually be there to learn what the heck I'm doing instead being subpoenaed to testify at court for a case I had at my old job & then after driving a half an hour to get there it gets freaking continued to next Friday & I have to go back!! Grr! Also...I'm starting meds for the first time this weekend...please don't let me be a bitch to my new co-workers!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Dear Diary, 

    Why won't this child keep her damned clothes on?! I feel like I am constantly telling this girl to keep her naked ass off the cold floors. Whenever I try to wrangle her to put her PJs on she screams "I WANNA BE NAKED! STOP TALKING TO ME!!!" I am so over this terrible two's shit. 





    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Dear Diary,

    Today sucks and not even in a 2IF way. To elaborate right now would take too much energy but suffice it to say that I'm drained.
  • Dear Diary,
    Ummmm why is my CM out of control only a week after my period?? I thought Clomid was supposed to dry it up? Anyway, I sincerely hope this is the month bc I am really at the end of my rope. I should have a baby by now!! Ugh.
    image
    photo image.jpg
  • Ok now I'm ready, Diary. Today sent me over the edge. 2 new pregnancy announcements from family in the last 2 days is what did it.

    Fell down the stairs last night and couldn't go exercise today because my leg freakin hurts.

    Everyone is complimenting me on losing weight but the loss is a side effect from horrible stomach pain over the last 2 months that the doctor cannot seem to diagnose.

    A 2-hour evaluation at work today took 3 hours, then the client's family had a lot of questions and then writing the report put me in at 6 hours for the day for one client. I am not at all upset with the kid or the family- they deserved every minute they got from me today, and they were really amazing people. It was just a really long day.

    Still mad that I can't eat my olives in public because I don't want people to ask me if I'm pregnant, but wish I could just suck it up like I would have 3 years ago when I started TTC again.

    PMS is so cruel. I cannot stop eating. DH seems to think it's a good sign every month. And every month I tell him "I always eat like a frat boy the week before AF." And apparently I have a lot to complain about when AF is on her way..
  • Dear Diary,

    I hate that I need to buy more pads and OPKs. I'm afraid that this expirence has robbed me of my joy of taking HPTs. I hate that I had to throw my BFP sticks in the f-ing trash because I could not bear to look at them. I hate that Monday I have to go back to the mean OBs office and hope I fail a beta. I hate that I wrote the date of my ultrasound in ink on my calandar and then had to scratch it out.

    And I feel like I have to vomit.

    Yours Truly,

    KC
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • Dear Diary, 
    Lets put a cap on all my friends popping out babies one on top of the other  Damn.  Or better yet, lets keep them coming and just let me join the crowd SOON, mkay?  Good, glad we understand each other.  
    Sincerely, 
    Having a shitty day...er, week...ok I'm having a bitter Betty year.  There I said it.  
    B/G twins born 3.22.11
    TTC #3
    M/C 10.26.13 @ 6w2d
     
    image


     



     

  • Dear Diary, 

    Have I mentioned how much I love 7am baselines? Love 'em. 



    8-|


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Dear Diary, 

    Have I mentioned how much I love 7am baselines? Love 'em. 



    8-|
    Ew. On a Sunday? Yuck.

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

  • Jen071407 said:
    Dear Diary, 

    Have I mentioned how much I love 7am baselines? Love 'em. 



    8-|
    Ew. On a Sunday? Yuck.
    No, it's tomorrow AM- I've been lucky *so far* to avoid those crazy early b/w appts on weekends. I'm not sure what this week will bring though- I know the monitoring is going to get really intense at some point.

    7am appts is just to effing early any day of the week! 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
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