FFFC

+just+j+ · November 2013

NBFR mean girl observation: Walking to work every morning i see this alot - women who walk and look down at their feet while they walk. Why do they do that? Do they think their shoes are really cute? Are they incredibly insecure? What's behind that? I get the occassional glance or looking where you are walking but you don't need to look AT your feet to do that for lengthy periods of time.

I don't get this. Help me understand.

Lavender P · November 2013

Maybe they are scared they will trip....

Banana44 · November 2013

I have been on The Bump for 5 years and have never written a FFFC - but I have to today!

I HATE and I mean I HATE with every ounce of being in my body - BM.

She is the most selfish, inept,self-serving, entitled, moronic Mother and I hate that she makes poor choices for her son.

I will never let SS know how I feel - but I hope fate walks up to her one day, punches her in the face and walks away!

I feel better now - thanks

sweetwalks · November 2013

@+just+j+ I have really low self esteem issues and I find myself doing that a lot. I do it because if I'm looking down then I can't see people staring, comments, etc (and yes, I know, no one is staring at me or talking about me when I walk by). It's just a subconscious thing I've caught myself doing. I don't like looking at my face, so no one else needs to either. Just my .02

SimpleJane · November 2013

I let DD wear her sparkling red ballet flats today to purposely annoy X's sister, who was doing PU for X. DD loves them, but they are fug and didn't match her outfit at all. XSIL is a bitch and I know it will annoy her.

VedaFlash · November 2013

I've had self-esteem issues & shyness all my life and I found that when I make a conscious effort to look up and face the world, I feel better about myself. It makes me want to stand up straight and tall, rather than hunched a little, and it makes me want to smile more. "Fake it til you make it" hahaha!

My FFFC is directed at the One Direction ladies of The Bump. I have admitted only to myself (and now to you) that I have a crush on Harry Styles. I have not once even heard a song, seen a video, heard these people talk. This is from the god damn pictures you all are posting of these man-boys all over the bump. I don't know how old he is, but I'm 33 and I felt a little weird by my Zac Efron crush when he, um, became legal. This kinda makes me feel the same. Bitches.

+just+j+ · November 2013

sweetwalks said:
@+just+j+ I have really low self esteem issues and I find myself doing that a lot. I do it because if I'm looking down then I can't see people staring, comments, etc (and yes, I know, no one is staring at me or talking about me when I walk by). It's just a subconscious thing I've caught myself doing. I don't like looking at my face, so no one else needs to either. Just my .02

I have always wondered. I look down at the ground but its ahead of me and not my feet. What i am describing is to me looks like a "i really love my shoes" obsession.

Interesting.

Meanwhile....karma is giving it back to me. I just bought miss me jeans this last week and wore them for the first time today. the pockets are glittery. Every seat i have sat in today, I am leaving glitter. Not cool. Hopefully the second wash will get it under control.

Nineoceans · November 2013

I needed my Dh to just do something without bitching and whining and I told him "I really just need you to figure this out"

Of course he didn't and bitched and moaned and sent me 80 texts while I was at work dealing with an insanely stressful situation.

I'm insisting on counseling. I'm struggling to deal with him right now.

KTdidit · November 2013

Oh man I had a really good one last night and I forgot it!

J - I can't say anything for the women who literally stare at their shoes while walking - wouldn't you think they would walk right into people, buildings, etc?! I do tend to look at the sidewalk a lot, though. I'm a big people-watcher, but its super awkward when you catch someone's eye and they catch you looking at them.

Pamelacake · November 2013

BM is supposed to be coming tomorrow yeah... we'll see.

This visit will be in the kitchen/dining room. I am a picture freak and SD's are camera hams. There are pics of us everywhere, baking things together, silly pics from the web cam, pics taken uf us together at the school.. I thought about leaving them up. I'm taking a lot of them down today in case she comes but I did think about leaving them up. I will replace them with other random pics.

Another: 7yo SD hung up on BM the other night. I was shocked! SD was so proud of herself though.. She wanted to give me a high five and I know my jowl was on the floor but I put my hand up to give her a high five. She must have noticed my expression, she said "what.. she hangs up on me all of the time" I was like whoa.

ambrvan · November 2013

SD confessed to me the other day that she doesn't like to tell people about BM and would rather just tell them I am her mom. I asked why and she says it's just easier that way. She said that sometimes when she clarifies I am Stepmom, she just days get mom lives X and leaves it at that. I asked if anyone ever asks anymore questions about BM or if she ever says anymore and she said no to both. Then she said that I am more like her real mom anyway so it doesn't matter.

I told her how special that made me feel and that she ought to know I have always thought of her as my first child and my real daughter and left it at that.

She also asked me to keep all this just between us. So not even DH knows what we talked about.

Here is the flammable part. I feel like I should have told DH this, but I'm not going to. This was our moment, mine and SD's.

I also feel like I should be encouraging her not to feel that way about BM, and if BM was anyone but who she is, maybe I would. But given the circumstances, I'm not.

Besides, who am I to be telling SD how she should feel? One thing I have learned in counseling myself is that part of dealing with stress and overwhelming emotions is recognizing and accepting your feelings without telling yourself you are wrong. BM has made her bed. If my love gives SD a little bit of comfort and support, then so be it.

And another flammable part, maybe I feel this way because of selfish reasons as well. We all know being a step parent is even more thankless than a regular parent. Let me have this.

Pamelacake · November 2013

@ambvran ♥

I had kind of the same thing happen about 2 weeks ago. SD says things to me but not like that really. The counselor that goes to the school twice a week called me and told me about it. She never talks about BM and I guess all of her classmates think I am her mom.

twister22 · November 2013

I told DH that I went for a run today and now my feet kill so he would give me a massage. I didn't go for a run and my feet don't kill, but the massage felt awesome.

Lavender P · November 2013

twister22 said:
I told DH that I went for a run today and now my feet kill so he would give me a massage. I didn't go for a run and my feet don't kill, but the massage felt awesome.

I think I just fell a little in love with you....

Lavender P · November 2013

My FFFC... I applied for a new job at work and found out last week that I got it. It is a big promotion and I will get so many amazing opportunities from it, including traveling internationally and getting a huge pay raise. It is literally my dream job.

The FF part, all I want to do is tell BM that while she has spent the last 10 years blaming all her problems on DH, other people are creating amazing lives for themselves, including me. I worked my ass off and I don't wait around for others to take care of me. I can't ever respect anyone that thinks the world owes them something and that they don't have to work hard. I am so blessed and have so much but a petty part of me just wants to rub it in.
Flame away...:

hopanka · November 2013

+just+j+ said:

NBFR mean girl observation: Walking to work every morning i see this alot - women who walk and look down at their feet while they walk. Why do they do that? Do they think their shoes are really cute? Are they incredibly insecure? What's behind that? I get the occassional glance or looking where you are walking but you don't need to look AT your feet to do that for lengthy periods of time. I don't get this. Help me understand.

I totally know what you mean...and no, it's not low self-esteem or avoiding eye-contact that PPs described. I know this because my mom does this. It is at its best, especially when she had just bought new shoes AND she's wearing an outfit that she thinks particularly matches great with her shoes and accessories. You can tell she's so happy in her skin, wearing her shoes, joyfully clacking in her heels on tiles. The noisier the better....lol, she's so vain. Shopping with her is a trip! She's 66, but nobody would predict her to be much over 50. She really likes looking and feeling good.

ambrvan · November 2013

I used to look down a lot. In fact, DH said that was one of the first things he noticed about me. He said I was so busy always looking down that I never noticed him looking at me or trying to get my attention. I was desperately afraid of crowds and still am just not so much. I didn't want anyone to start a conversation with me so I just kept my eyes down. And I always had that weird paranoia anytime looked up that someone was talking about me or making fun of me.

I much happier person now and don't really have this problem anymore.

Ilumine · November 2013

I like shoes. I am in the need for two different pairs of shoes, but am not sure exactly what I want. I look down as I walk to look at the shoes.

OR, during my need new purse phases, I am looking at people's torsos so I can check out purses.

Oh, and yes I HAVE and probably continue to walk up to strangers and ask where they got said accessories.

CurlyQ284 · November 2013

I don't think my marriage is OK right now. We are so so so tight on money, DH is working and in school so he usually only sees DS right before bed and for a minute before we leave to daycare so there is a lot of stress right now. When I finally sit down he wants to talk my ear off about bullshit like his jeep, some stupid singing show hes watching, or make me watch YouTube videos. I don't give a rats ass about anything he wants to talk about and I'm tired and I just want to RELAX. I have to struggle so so hard not to scream "shut the fuck up!". Sometimes I crack and get bitchy and he just seems to get further away from me. I have stuff that happens through the day and I think "you should probably tell DH....nope. Vegging out is better." I get about 2 hours to relax and when he's blabbering on about his stupid jeep I just think about how its cutting into Sleepy Hollow. I don't feel close to him at all and I don't know if I have the energy to fix it.

Pamelacake · November 2013

I know it's not Friday anymore but ..

I'm glad BM didn't show up today. I already knew she wouldn't because of the voicemails and texts last night and she started the same crap today like she forgot about last night. She tried to play it off like she was on her way today.. BS. BM finally called at 12:30 and said her car broke down and she wasn't coming. BM wasn't even on her way.

I had cupcake batter ready for the girls and BM to put them in the pan together and stuff for them to decorate when they were finished because she had previously called and said she was on her way.

There was a fight between BM and DH over the phone about her continuously lying to the girls. (he took the day off of work so I wouldn't have to deal with it alone or at all, I feel bad for asking him to now bc it was for nothing) DH hasn't engaged in a while and I have been extremely proud of him... but he blew up on her today and it was ugly.. I was pleading with him to stop but now have to document the crap.

SD's are okay... for now. 7yo sees her counselor Monday. Thank goodness.

SueBear · November 2013

You should not feel bad that DH took the day off and BM didn't show. That's on BM, NOT you. Now your DH will get to experience firsthand the level of frustration with dealing with BM. Maybe now that HE is inconvenienced, he will put more effort into changing things, or at least putting boundries in place so that neither you, he, nor the girls are inconvenienced.

CFjo2010 · November 2013

It's not Friday anymore but I never got to chime in...

I'm glad DH is working today while K is here. I know he needs to spend time with her, and he will later today. But I really want some time with just her and DD. We're going to get our nails done and I'm hoping she'll open up a bit. She is usually really open with me about things, but she doesn't talk to DH about stuff and according to BM she doesn't talk to her anymore either. Something is going in with that little girl and I want to try and sort it out.

KTdidit · November 2013

Good luck Jo! Maybe a relaxed girls day is just what she needs

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