CIO

I Love my Dave · November 2013

I felt so bad to let my baby cry it out but I spend literally hours a day nursing her to nap and sleep. I can't go anywhere because she will not nap without me and now she won't even do that. I work from home so I need time to work when she naps. Anyway after fighting with her to sleep for 30 min. I gave up and let her CIO. She was crying but it wasn't a screaming bad cry and I started crying too because I felt awful and I hate not being there for her. After 5 min. (if that) I go upstairs and she is passed out. Sometimes CIO is not bad because some babies are overstimulated and just need a break from you.

tiffletons518 · November 2013

Eh. I wouldn't really call 5 minutes crying it out. But, that's just my opinion.

WasNotWas · November 2013

Ty always cries before he naps. He gets really frustrated that he's not sleeping (as do I...) so he almost has to cry to fall asleep. You are correct about the overstimulation thing.

So to echo @tiffletons518 I don't consider what you did CIO

ASmallWonder · November 2013

I agree with the others. CIO generally means that you have to go in at intervals because they're STILL crying. One five minute session of non hysterical crying doesn't really qualify so don't feel bad

With my oldest we lived in an apartment and I was SO nervous about pissing off our neighbors that I ran to him every time he fussed and that meant he woke up overnight until he was almost one. I finally said fuck it and decided to "CIO." He cried a little for three minutes and never woke up overnight again (until many months later, kwim?)

PinkPuffyHeart2 · November 2013

Sometimes my LO starts fussing at night while BFing or holding/rocking and she won't *stop* until I put her down... Then she passes out... Smother much? Why yes, I do.

riansmommie · November 2013

@stephmill I can totally relate to that lol. My lil guy use to sleep on my all.the.time. Now I have to nurse him then lay him down otherwise he just squirms and fusses while I hold him. Makes me sad, but maybe he is telling me "ummm Mommie why don't you take some time for yourself finally, I'll be ok sleeping alone right now"

HeartLikeMine3 · November 2013

I have done this before, a couple weeks ago I was exhausted and so frustrated. But my LO just got more and more upset and wasnt falling asleep. It didn't feel right to me and I won't do it again. But your LO only lasted 5 min, you can tell from their tone how upset they are and make the best judgement you can. Don't beat yourself up your doing your best. Although I don't plan on trying CIO again, I would let my LO fuss for 5 min if he fell asleep I think there's a big difference. I know how hard it is HUGS.

PinkPuffyHeart2 · November 2013

riansmommie said:

@stephmill I can totally relate to that lol. My lil guy use to sleep on my all.the.time. Now I have to nurse him then lay him down otherwise he just squirms and fusses while I hold him. Makes me sad, but maybe he is telling me "ummm Mommie why don't you take some time for yourself finally, I'll be ok sleeping alone right now"

My LO has started pushing me away for kisses. She makes me hold her all day (or else she fusses/cries) but if I try to kiss her face she turns away and puts her arms up to her face like "NO Mommy!".... I told her, "if I have to hold you then I get to kiss you!"... It's like she *doesn't* still want to be attached at the umbilical chord...

fabumama · November 2013

We did cry it out. It took about a week but she is back to sleeping through the night. As long as I know she is fed, clean diaper and not sick it worked.for us. It was really hard but she is happy, healthy, I EBF and am a well rested and a better SAHM because of it.

sheacox · November 2013

each mama makes the best decision for her baby... i hate how some mamas get so judgy on others. CIO works for some babies and not for others.

I agree with PPs that 5 minutes of a non hysterial cry isn't my def of CIO but either way... Kenzie self soothes herself, she always has. So yes i will let her fuss and cry for a bit. She almost always puts herself back to sleep. i feel no shame in that... but I also know for other babies that might not work.

fabumama · November 2013

lavonnallama said:

christaman said:

We did cry it out. It took about a week but she is back to sleeping through the night. As long as I know she is fed, clean diaper and not sick it worked.for us. It was really hard but she is happy, healthy, I EBF and am a well rested and a better SAHM because of it.

How old is your baby? You're talking about your June baby?

Yes, I'm talking about my June baby. She will be 5 months next week. She had been STTN for a long time and then I got up with her every night when she started the wakeful period around 4 months old. After a while we chose to CIO. After about 3 nights she was basically back to STTN. After a week no more waking up. And each night she cried shorter times. I know this is an unpopular opinion and it's not for everyone. Like I said, it wasn't easy.

fabumama · November 2013

lavonnallama said:

christaman said:

We did cry it out. It took about a week but she is back to sleeping through the night. As long as I know she is fed, clean diaper and not sick it worked.for us. It was really hard but she is happy, healthy, I EBF and am a well rested and a better SAHM because of it.

How old is your baby? You're talking about your June baby?

Yes, I'm talking about my June baby. She will be 5 months next week. She had been STTN for a long time and then I got up with her every night when she started the wakeful period around 4 months old. After a while we chose to CIO. After about 3 nights she was basically back to STTN. After a week no more waking up. And each night she cried shorter times. I know this is an unpopular opinion and it's not for everyone. Like I said, it wasn't easy.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

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nikel13 · November 2013

Don't feel bad. Sometimes, I have to let Lily cry (like crying so hard she isn't making sound) to get to the point of sleep. Don't flame me. I'm sitting right there with her the entire time trying to comfort her. She just fights naps so hard that it is almost like a pre-nap tantrum.

ilovemarfa · November 2013

My 4 month old has cried himself to sleep a few times. Not by choice but because I was tending to his toddler brother. I don't consider a few minutes of fussing crying it out either.

BunnyLove416 · November 2013

nikel13 said:

Don't feel bad. Sometimes, I have to let Lily cry (like crying so hard she isn't making sound) to get to the point of sleep. Don't flame me. I'm sitting right there with her the entire time trying to comfort her. She just fights naps so hard that it is almost like a pre-nap tantrum.

I don't think if you're sitting right there with her trying to comfort her you're letting her cry it out, and I think it would be crazy pants for someone to flame you for that.

I think sometimes people get confused with the meaning of CIO, it's not letting your baby fuss for a few minutes and it's not not being able to stop your baby from crying or having a tantrum. It's choosing to let your baby full out cry for a pre-determined amount of time in hopes that they will be forced to self comfort or to break an attention seeking habit (from what I understand).

CamillaPT · November 2013

Don't feel bad @christaman. You did what you felt best and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone else.

JANCANDANCE · November 2013

Good grief.

CIO= parents downstairs playing Taboo while the baby screams her head off for 10 plus minutes and the parents ignore her needs. Because the parents feel she needs to "self soothe"

Self soothing= baby is fed, changed, and burped. All of her needs are met. She is tired and fusses to settle herself into sleep for under 5 minutes. Don't beat yourself up.

It isn't hard. I'm sick of this debate and when to start solids.

My .02

numbersgirl08 · November 2013

How many times have we been over this same ground? It's a sensitive subject, everyone has differing opinions, what works for one family won't work for another, and "crying it out" means different things to different people. It's pointless to bring it up over and over because the same people will continue to say we should never let babies CIO, and the same people will continue to differ, and lots of people on the sidelines will feel guilty or justified in their decisions.

ariaforte8 · November 2013

FYI, 8 weeks to 7 months is the critical period for developing healthy attachments that will create the blueprint for your child's relationships for the rest of their life.

No pressure.

fabumama · November 2013

lavonnallama said:

CamillaPT said:

Don't feel bad @christaman. You did what you felt best and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone else.

Did she say she feels bad? Or are you implying we're trying to make her feel bad? Because if I was trying to make her feel bad about letting her four month old cry it out, it would look a lot different than me telling her that her opinion is unpopular.

I do not feel bad nor do I feel I need to justify how or why we chose to do it for a few nights. I posted because I didn't want the original poster to feel alone or bad since it is obvious that most people that comment on here are against it. Never will we all agree and that is okay with me. Thank you @CamillaPT for your support.

fabumama · November 2013

lavonnallama said:

christaman said:

lavonnallama said:

CamillaPT said:

Don't feel bad @christaman. You did what you felt best and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone else.

Did she say she feels bad? Or are you implying we're trying to make her feel bad? Because if I was trying to make her feel bad about letting her four month old cry it out, it would look a lot different than me telling her that her opinion is unpopular.

I do not feel bad nor do I feel I need to justify how or why we chose to do it for a few nights. I posted because I didn't want the original poster to feel alone or bad since it is obvious that most people that comment on here are against it. Never will we all agree and that is okay with me. Thank you @CamillaPT for your support.

Uh, lest you forget, you're the one who chose to explain yourself. I didn't sit here and demand answers, I just asked whether it was your four month old you let CIO. And then I agreed with you that your opinion is unpopular. So maybe stop being so defensive?

Totally get it, not defensive, was just agreeing with your response to the other poster that I didn't take it that you were trying to make me feel bad. I didn't take it that way. Like I said, I understand that we all have differences of opinion.

sheacox · November 2013

Why are we jumping all over each other for different opinions? Last time i checked we were all moms going through the same struggles trying to do the best for our babies. None of us here need someone else telling us they think what the person is doing is wrong just because it's not what we are doing. Trust me, her baby will be just fine, and is loved.

No longer the best · November 2013

I find I can be judgy and need to take a step back from time to time. I couldn't do CIO (as in @jancandance definition) but I will sit with him as he cries to sleep. And whatever you feel you need to do to get your baby to sleep aside from a shot of tequila and nyquil do it!

No longer the best · November 2013

lavonnallama said:

No longer the best said:

I find I can be judgy and need to take a step back from time to time. I couldn't do CIO (as in @jancandance definition) but I will sit with him as he cries to sleep. And whatever you feel you need to do to get your baby to sleep aside from a shot of tequila and nyquil do it!

When I was flying to Peru, a couple next to me totally dosed their baby with Nyquill to get him to sleep on the flight. I was like

WHAAAAT??

sheacox · November 2013

zigspective said:

Why are we jumping all over each other for different opinions?
There has been like the least amount of jumping ever in this thread.

You are right... I'm super sensitive today. Don't worry, once I got home I put my big girl panties back on!

CindyRelluh · November 2013

CamillaPT said:
Don't feel bad @christaman. You did what you felt best and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone else.

@camillapt and you are? Do you even go here, because I don't know you and I know EVERYONE.

@lavonnallama YGPM bish

sheacox · November 2013

lavonnallama said:

sheacox said:

zigspective said:

Why are we jumping all over each other for different opinions?
There has been like the least amount of jumping ever in this thread.

You are right... I'm super sensitive today. Don't worry, once I got home I put my big girl panties back on!

The ones with the black lace? You know how I love those.

I PPH your.

oooooooh yes

kacelle · November 2013

Good grief. CIO= parents downstairs playing Taboo while the baby screams her head off for 10 plus minutes and the parents ignore her needs. Because the parents feel she needs to "self soothe" Self soothing= baby is fed, changed, and burped. All of her needs are met. She is tired and fusses to settle herself into sleep for under 5 minutes. Don't beat yourself up. It isn't hard. I'm sick of this debate and when to start solids. My .02

This is the child development major coming out in me, but that isn't what CIO means. I don't have a problem with babies being allowed to fuss before falling asleep if their needs are met, but CIO doesn't usually involve ignoring babies while they scream unless the parents suck. Ferber's method is CIO and he advocates check-ins at 3/5/7 minutes and so on starting at several months old (not the age our June babies are now).

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