Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

Just starting our process....very excited and scared

megan&jaymegan&jay member
in Adoption
Hi ladies!! I have just discovered this board after many years on the knot and the bump. We are in the very early stages of adoption and really just starting to research all of our options to hopefully begin in 2014. I have 2 kids of my own and adoption has always been something I have wanted to do in my life. We have a lot to figure out before our home study and a lot to get in order. Reading about the home study makes me so nervous because I am worried we would get turned down. Financially we are good but not a lot in savings, we live for the moment and are trying to enjoy life as much as possible after losing parents very young. We are raising our 2 kids in Manhattan right now and do not plan on leaving and worried the small space living could hinder our chances. Anyone else have experience adopting in NYC? We have a very nice size 2 bedroom apt and not sure if a 3 bedroom is in the picture (our kids currently share). It is over 1600sq ft so plenty of room but cant change much in the layout since we rent. I am very excited and very scared but ready for this journey. 
Image and video hosting by TinyPic


Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Just starting our process....very excited and scared

  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    @megan&jay My partner and I are in Staten Island- so technically in NYC--- we worked with an agency that assured us that apartment space isn't an issue---Our apartment is roughly half of what yours is an only a one bedroom and it wasn't an issue in our homestudy. Are you working with a lawyer or an agency?
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • megan&jaymegan&jay member
    maryoosa---we haven't figured out the lawyer/agency information yet. We are in the research part right now and just trying to figure everything out that we need to do. We are hoping to start making contacts after the 1st of the year. Glad to hear the apartment size was not an issue, that was a major worry for me. We have friends that did both domestic and international that live in NYC so going to reach out to them to see if they have any help on the process and any contacts that would be helpful in the area. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    PM me, I can give you the skinny on our agency and lawyers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • bumpuser794640bumpuser794640 member
    Welcome! Check out our FAQs at the top of the page. I want to particularly mention the section on adoption-friendly language, sincethe preferred terms will help you avoid rankling other posters with phrases like "kids of my own" instead if biological or bio kids. :)
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • megan&jaymegan&jay member
    Thank You @gnomesweetgnome--I have everything printed and started to read. Sorry for the bad wording, will be sure to review because I do not want to offend anyone. More here for support in this journey and any advice that I can get from others. 


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • bumpuser794640bumpuser794640 member
    megan&jay said:

    Thank You @gnomesweetgnome--I have everything printed and started to read. Sorry for the bad wording, will be sure to review because I do not want to offend anyone. More here for support in this journey and any advice that I can get from others. 


    No problem! Everyone has to learn at some point. Not every person will be offended by every phrase, but it's best to act as if they will just in case. I hope you will stick around the board, everyone is very friendly and supportive.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    edited October 2013
    Hello, and welcome.  Your children are adorable!

    You've gotten some great advice already.  I'm not sure if only having a two bedroom will be an issue, only because I know that some agencies like to see no more than two children share a room.  Are you thinking of adopting an infant?  If so, and the baby shares your room, it may not be a problem, although I believe many agencies want to know what your plan is for when the child grows older.  The best thing you could do is call some agencies and ask what they look for in terms of number of bedrooms to number of people/children.  They should be able to give you an idea of if this would be something that you'll need to address or not.

    Now, may I bring up a more sensitive topic?  Can I ask why you'd like to adopt?  I ask this, because I, too, adopted without infertility being a cause.  My husband and I have a lot of blessings, and we wanted to share them with children who might not otherwise have such opportunities.  If your motivation is anything similar to ours was, may I suggest that your consider adopting an "older" child or one with special needs?  I don't know if you were planning on pursuing domestic infant adoption, but if you were, and your motivation for adopting is to help a child who might not otherwise have a chance, it might be helpful to know that there are typically more couple/prospective adoptive parents waiting to adopt infants (especially healthy, white infants) than there are infants who need families.

    When we discovered this, we decided to adopt internationally, and to adopt slightly older children, but that's definitely not the only possible route to meeting those goals.  Domestic adoption from foster care, special needs adoption, older child adoption, and most international adoption are typically situations in which their are far more children needing homes than there are waiting parents.  I know that this might not be what you are looking for at all, and I respect most all reasons for adoption, but I just wanted to throw this out there in case your reasons were similar to ours and it's something you haven't considered.
    Report Reply
  • JoshKrisAdoptJoshKrisAdopt member
    Welcome! You'll like it here :). Not sure about NY but here in CA, savings and home size aren't an issue.
    Follow our adoption journey on our blog!
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    Report Reply
  • megan&jaymegan&jay member
    @ captainserious---sorry to the delay in response. I have been crazy at work and haven't gotten to the board in some time. Adoption has always been a dream of mine since I 1st met DH. I have been blessed with 2 beautiful babies but want to share the love we have with a child that wouldn't otherwise get it. We are not looking to adopt an infant and not sure if special needs is a path we are prepared for with 2 small children at home. I know it will already be a large change for them bringing another baby into the family. We both have very busy work schedules and not sure if I have the time commitment as well. We would hope to be in a larger apartment but the time everything went through but 3 bedrooms in our area are few. I know it is a long process and we are just at the beginning. I have been reading a lot and talking to friends. I have friends who did domestic 2 infants and friend that did international (1 17M and 1 4 years old). 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    Thanks for answering @megan&jay . It seems you have given a lot of thought to your process and path. If you ever have any questions or wish to pick my brain along he way, feel free to ask away!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"