We are on the fence about having another baby, and for a variety of reasons if we do it won't be until our first (twins) are 5ish. (They are still younger but figured this board might have people with older and younger kids).
Just looking for experiences from people who have similar age gaps, I have lots of friends who have them 2 years apart and a handful 3 but don't know people with 5+ years.
was it hard to go back to the baby/toddler stage? What do you wish you had known before you did it?
Thanks!
Re: Larger age gap between kids?
Something else, too; they understood that the baby needed a lot of attention and I was exhausted, so there was no jealousy or behaviour regression. Some of my friends with younger children had a difficult time adjusting because the kids didn't understand.
That said, it limits your family size if you're of a certain age (I'm 38) and you like having a large age difference between kids. And it does restart the clock as far as how long you have until you're through with diapers and other phases of early childhood. I find myself breathing more a sigh of relief once we hit those milestones with DS, so while I don't mind doing everything over again once so long after we got through those stages with DD, I'm less likely to want to start over yet again in another year or two.
No matter what the gap, you manage moment to moment just as you did with your first, but it's crazy no matter the amount of time between kids...
There is an 8 year gap between myself and my youngest older brother. In some ways it was nice because I sort of was no question "the baby" of the family, OTOH, it was rough on my brother who had previously been the baby of the family at the time.. I kid you not, we fought like cats & dogs!!! It wasn't until he moved out after getting married to his now ex that it was like a light switch and now we get along great!!!
DD & DS have quite a gap as well. It's been a tougher adjustment than I'd have liked it to be for DD. She got used to being an only child so now sharing Mom & Dad time really is difficult for her. There are times when she's absolutely wonderful, but for each of those times there's probably five to ten that we go to bed and are just exhausted from her antics. It's also tough because DS was colicy and you can imagine how wonderful that was trying to get a girl ready for school when her brother has kept the house up all night... It also really felt at times like we were starting over. Just when we finally were able to start going and doing things like amusement parks, museums, county fair, NOPE! Can't really do that with a baby/toddler!! Having a shorter gap in age is nice for this aspect. Being a parent is tough, but IMO, if we could have gotten pregnant when we first started "trying" it'd been nice to not have as great of a gap, but either way, love both kiddos completely no matter the gap!!!
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And thanks @jerseygirl81 for your open answer. I'm less worried about them being close playmates, but the loss of independence scares me a bit
I guess we will have to see how things are then but it's helpful to hear the perspective of others!!
DD2 is 18 days old
I had DD1 when I was a teenager, and I wanted to do a lot of things before having a second child.
I met and married my husband, bought a house, completed 4 degrees, settled in a career, built a health savings account and emergency fund.
I have a better idea of what to expect when raising a child, and I'm far more confident this time around.
you have to come back and let us know how it goes
I was worried about the age gap but DS adores baby brother. Plus, he has his own activities to keep him engaged and entertained. I know they won't be super close playmates but I still think they will be super close. DS us already discussing all the things he wants to teach baby brother.
My daughters are 3 years 4.5 months apart. Now that dd#2 is becoming older, they are definitely beginning to play and interact together. If we have #3 (fingers crossed), I would like them to be a little closer (2 3/4-3 years apart).
I was 4 years 2 months older then sister #1...
5 years 4 months older then sister two...
and almost 8 years (3 weeks shy of) then my little bro. I love them all, but they were definitely closer as children since I was so much older.
***I should mention, that as adults, our bond is inseparable. Our parents are no longer with us, so regardless of the age difference, siblings are definitely the best gift you could give =-)***
J+E ~ 08/25/2007 DD#1 ~ 05/11/2010 DD#2 ~ 09/25/2013 DD#3 ~ 06/09/2016 Baby #4 Due ~ 01/16/2023
i am 4 years older than my brother. We don't have much in common and the age difference made it difficult as kids. I wonder how it would've been if he were a girl.
I have three siblings, and we're all really close in age. The oldest is just five years apart from the youngest. Currently, my brother is 22, I'm 21, my middle sister is 19, and my youngest sister is 17. We're all summer birthdays, so the differences are pretty much exact in terms of years. (My brother and I are 13 months apart.)
I feel like we were all able to grow up together. I loved being a big sister to a new baby when I was 4, and I was very aware of how little she was then. Now, though, the difference between 17 and 21 isn't much for us. When we're older, we'll essentially feel like we're the same age.
We can relate well because we have the same cultural background. Now, we're all college-age (and actually, my sisters and I all attend the same college at the moment). I think we grew up at similar speeds, like one unit. It's not as if one of us was ten years older and moved out when the youngest was just 8, you know? We've pretty much always been present in each other's lives. There's no chance my brother remembers being an only child. I have few if any memories before my middle sister was born. I was old enough to be ecstatic when my parents told me I was going to have another younger sibling. It's been a nice balance.
If I'm able to have an age gap like this when I have kids someday, I'd do it in a heartbeat, although I have *no* idea how my parents managed a posse of four small kids with such grace. My mom claims we were always really well-behaved when she took us out, so I'll go with that!