A doctor just told me I was really big. REALLY?

wilburbud · November 2013

You are an idiot. You are an internal medicine doctor. You are a medical professional. You just told a woman, after you asked when due, that she was REALLY BIG for being that far along. Wow. THANKS asshat. I just looked at him and said "actually, Im measuring right on target. I have a short torso so there's nowhere for baby to go but out. thanks for noticing."

Editing to add that I work in a hospital, and have regular interactions with doctors.. this was not a physician treating me

MrsGraham06 · November 2013

Wow. Just...wow. That's rude no matter what, but very unprofessional for a DOCTOR.

Eat some chocolate and smile.

pixieonboard · November 2013

I am a big girl to start and most people can't tell I'm preg. I would love to look more preg. The grass is greener I guess..

mrsjenni · November 2013

Those comments bother me just as much as the "wow, you have SO LONG to go!" I mean REALLY!?! I've been pregnant since May. It's November. I don't have THAT much longer to go... idiot.

peanutmuse · November 2013

People really suck. Like, really really bad.

I was actually just talking about this with my husband this morning. It's related to my overall treatment by my OB's office. I have been extremely disappointed over the past couple of weeks, but that's another whole topic. Anyway, I gained 4 lbs since my last appt 4 weeks ago, which is the biggest weight increase I've had so far. I've only gained 17 total. The nurse said, "uh oh, you've gained some weight." Who the hell says that in a derogatory way to a pregnant woman who has clearly not gained too much weight?! I overlooked it on Monday because I was so wrapped up in the kidney stone thing that I didn't think about it until I weighed myself this morning. But what a shitty thing to say! And she definitely was saying it in a bad way. I wish I had asked her if she thought I had gained too much, because I would have loved to see her answer. I don't care if she thinks she was being funny, that's not a professional (or funny) thing to say to someone.

litzo27 · November 2013

Good for you for thinking of an appropriate answer to him on the spot! Did he at least have the decency to look uncomfortable at your response?

mommabird77 · November 2013

What an asshole!

SunflowersBride · November 2013

I really don't know why people say anything about how big or small or whatever a pregnant woman looks. When I was at my OB's office to get my rhogam shot, the guy drawing my blood to check my antibodies asked when I was due. When I said January, he said that I looked "small". He then amended it to say that I looked "not small, just weird". Ummm, seriously WTF? Who the hell says that to a pregnant woman, particularly someone who works in the OB's office?? So I spent the last two weeks being paranoid about looking small and maybe something was restricting my baby's growth. Luckily at my u/s yesterday, baby boy is still measuring a bit a head of his due date.

But I just cannot understand people's thought process sometimes.

bluegreeneyes11 · November 2013

angiek1 · November 2013

People are just dumb and in my recent experiences I've learned that some doctors are just sadly jaded. I'm glad you had response for the doc!

angiek1 · November 2013

bluegreeneyes11 said:

I love the wedding photo in your signature!

lmills730 · November 2013

peanutmuse said:

People really suck. Like, really really bad.

I was actually just talking about this with my husband this morning. It's related to my overall treatment by my OB's office. I have been extremely disappointed over the past couple of weeks, but that's another whole topic. Anyway, I gained 4 lbs since my last appt 4 weeks ago, which is the biggest weight increase I've had so far. I've only gained 17 total. The nurse said, "uh oh, you've gained some weight." Who the hell says that in a derogatory way to a pregnant woman who has clearly not gained too much weight?! I overlooked it on Monday because I was so wrapped up in the kidney stone thing that I didn't think about it until I weighed myself this morning. But what a shitty thing to say! And she definitely was saying it in a bad way. I wish I had asked her if she thought I had gained too much, because I would have loved to see her answer. I don't care if she thinks she was being funny, that's not a professional (or funny) thing to say to someone.

That's unbelievable. Who says "uh-oh" like that when you are clearly not even close to having gained too much.

laurasue0513 · November 2013

peanutmuse said:

People really suck. Like, really really bad.

I was actually just talking about this with my husband this morning. It's related to my overall treatment by my OB's office. I have been extremely disappointed over the past couple of weeks, but that's another whole topic. Anyway, I gained 4 lbs since my last appt 4 weeks ago, which is the biggest weight increase I've had so far. I've only gained 17 total. The nurse said, "uh oh, you've gained some weight." Who the hell says that in a derogatory way to a pregnant woman who has clearly not gained too much weight?! I overlooked it on Monday because I was so wrapped up in the kidney stone thing that I didn't think about it until I weighed myself this morning. But what a shitty thing to say! And she definitely was saying it in a bad way. I wish I had asked her if she thought I had gained too much, because I would have loved to see her answer. I don't care if she thinks she was being funny, that's not a professional (or funny) thing to say to someone.

@peanutmuse - what. a. bitch. that's nothing!! You are right on track. WTF. In three weeks I gained 6 pounds **hangs head in shame** She probably would have really given it to me!! lol

bethughknee · November 2013

Mad props on your response.

I would have been like:

Sorry, I'm on a Happy Endings kick after my UO today.

laurasue0513 · November 2013

wilburbud said:

You are an idiot. You are an internal medicine doctor. You are a medical professional. You just told a woman, after you asked when due, that she was REALLY BIG for being that far along. Wow. THANKS asshat. I just looked at him and said "actually, Im measuring right on target. I have a short torso so there's nowhere for baby to go but out. thanks for noticing."

Editing to add that I work in a hospital, and have regular interactions with doctors.. this was not a physician treating me

LOL!! I get this all the time and I hate it. I am short with a super short torso so what you just wrote I feel like I say all. the. time. To the point now that I feel like I sounds defensive. But in all honestly I DO look full term. I look ready to drop kid any minute and I still have 2 months to do.

peanutmuse · November 2013

KaitiMac said:

@peanutmuse That nurse would have gotten slapped. Why on earth would she think it's okay to say that to a pregnant woman, I'm sure she wouldn't say something like that to a non-pregnant woman coming in for a yearly physical. [-X

@KaitiMac -- that's exactly what I was thinking too! Would she have said that to me under normal circumstances? If not, how the heck is it appropriate to say that to a pregnant woman who should be gaining weight?!

Summer889 · November 2013

MarBee1214 said:

Doctors think they know everything

ETA: I apologize if any doctors or family members of doctors are offended by that... its just my experience with MOST doctors...certainly not all

I have 3 doctors in my immediate family and I completely agree with this statement. It's why I'm seeing a midwife.

OSUWifey09 · November 2013

I was shaking my head while reading the original post. Seriously - people just think they can say anything to pregnant women, and we'll take it in stride. That's so annoying, and rude.

km_md · November 2013

Wow that is incredibly rude. I've gotten a bunch of those comments (and I actually am measuring a couple of weeks ahead) but they are usually from random asshat strangers who think that they know things.

last14real · November 2013

@wilburbud and @peanutmuse I would probably have just lost it and punched either of them in the throat. I am noticing that I have X amount of patience right now and I would much rather use it on my 2 yr old DS than on adult stupid people.

brideandbreve · November 2013

peanutmuse said:

The nurse said, "uh oh, you've gained some weight."

That attitude pisses me off.

IMHO, weight gain in pregnancy varies from woman to woman. If you're making healthy food choices, you're staying as active as possible, and you're taking a prenatal, the whole anxiety over weight gain is BS. If your body needs to put on 50 lbs. to sustain a pregnancy, it's probably gonna happen whether you exist on salads alone or splurge on cake and ice cream everyday. And if you're one of those lucky broads who only puts on about 15-20 lbs., even with the splurges, then you're genetically blessed and I hate you I pat you on the back for your good fortune.

I hate when OBs and their staff try to weight shame pregnant women.

At my check-up before last, I had gained 7 pounds, and the doctor (not my regular OB) tried to give me shit about it. Overall, including the 7 pound gain, I had gained 14 total. Blow me. She even did the whole, "Excessive weight gain leads to gestational diabetes, heavier babies, and c-sections when your labor fails to progress." Blah blah blah.

I just don't get the whole "Let's freak out over weight gain!" during pregnancy attitude. $:\$

@peanutmuse, I'm so sorry this nurse acted like she did. What a wench.

PreDempsey · November 2013

What shitty comments, I can't even believe some one actually said "Utoh.." about an acceptable weight gain.

The next person that asks if I'm sure it isn't twins is going to get "Oh shit, maybe.. I never asked."

casholmes · November 2013

This is why I love the nurse at my OB's. She doesn't comment if I've gained, but makes "Woo, you lost two pounds, way to go girl!" comments if I've lost. Feels nice.

nikkijd17 · November 2013

MarBee1214 said:

I feel like my doctor is the odd ball when it comes to you ladies' doctors! I KNOW I've gained quite a bit because I hit the 25 lb mark like 6 weeks ago and I'm definitely way bigger now than I was then. I stopped stepping on the scale at home because I was getting too worked up about how I will lose the weight later. My doctor said at my last appointment that he "loves" how much weight I've gained....and I was not underweight at all before getting pg so I was quite shocked to hear that. I came into that appointment fully expecting a lecture on my weight gain.

I've been really fortunate as well. My doc hasn't judged or criticized and keeps telling me the weight gain is fine, keep eating well, stay hydrated, and not to beat myself up about it. I'm enormously grateful for that attitude and it's helped me tolerate the people this week that seem to have come out of the walls to make weird comments.

Whenever I see all these absolutely ridiculous comments people make to pregnant women, I have to wonder if people feel like they HAVE to say something and this insulting verbal diarrhea just hurls out of their mouths.

jamiecal · November 2013

MarBee1214 said:

Most of the time I've been getting the "You look like you're due really soon!" comments... but today I got my first "Oh your little bump is so cute I barely noticed you were pregnant!" on the elevator this morning. That woman is my new friend.

Doctors think they know everything

ETA: I apologize if any doctors or family members of doctors are offended by that... its just my experience with MOST doctors...certainly not all

A woman in the elevator this morning said, "Oh my gosh, you look like you're ready to pop any second! Don't give birth in the elevator! When are you due?!" My answer of "in two months" combined with the awesomely obnoxious smile I gave her made her turn bright red. She couldn't even respond, just fumbled over an explanation before I got off the elevator. People are idiots, and sometimes the more intelligent a person is the more idiotic they sound when they say something without thinking - doctors especially.

Belly bumps to all for healthy weight gain and brushing off stupid comments!

bellamatson · November 2013

I hope you high fives their face!!

I hate it when I go get weighed and the little MA screams out the weight on the scale even though i can clearly read it.

mj0413 · November 2013

UGH!! Why the heck does EVERYONE feel like it's their duty to comment on a pregnant woman's weight?! HOW IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?! As long as me and baby are healthy and my doctor is fine with our health, WHO THE HELL CARES!?

My husband's grandmother came up to me when I was like 20 weeks along (and showing a bit, but not much), how much I've gained. Umm... OUCH?

And it's so weird... Some people say "you're so small, you're barely showing, you're all belly" and other people want to comment on how big you are and no matter what, it seems like they're judging and condescending. If I am not as big as you think I should be, it's like you think I'm starving my baby and trying not to gain weight. If I'm bigger than you think I should be, I'm a gluttonous pig that is trying to get diabetes or some nonsense.

F that!

Eat well. Be active as you feel comfortable being. Listen to your body. Screw anyone that has anything but nice things to say.

MarkandAbbi · November 2013

Although I haven't had any comments like you lovely ladies. I did pick up this shirt and it has helped with the whole "when are you due" question.

Good luck and good job with all the witty comebacks that make them feel uncomfortable for even striking up a conversation in the first place!!

sugarland726 · November 2013

KaitiMac said:

LOL - I was at a thing for work just now and a guy asked me if I pregnant (seriously?!). I said, "No way, bro, I just ate a huuuuge lunch" and he looked at me like a deer in the headlights. I waddled away laughing my pregnant ass off. That'll teach him!

Haha, I did that too. "Nope, just pre-gaming for Thanksgiving." That got a good laugh. Then I'll flip it and say I just ate too much at Thanksgiving.

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