I'm back :( D&C question (first child mentioned) please help, long intro/vent

srcr2011 · November 2013

So I'm back. This is my third m/c. My first pregnancy ended in MC I was about 5-6 weeks from LMP. One cycle later I had a successful pregnancy and my son will be 3 in January. Well I got pregnant again in July, BFP August 28, MC 9/4 about 5-6 weeks from LMP. No AF, waiting for it to come, instead got another BFP on 10/3. Totally unexpected. Since no AF, dating was off and I was not sure how far I was. I went to the OB on 10/21, she measured me at about 6 weeks or so, has an U/S done that day, empty sac that also measure about 5-6 weeks. I thought, ok, no biggie, my uterus is tilted and still no official date, so dating and size could be slightly off. I had blood draws twice a week every week and weekly U/S. My HCG levels rising lovely and with each U/S the sac was still empty. I hung on to hope. Well I went back Monday for my weekly appt and my labs showed a drop in my HCG, U/S measure 9 weeks. I was told ,up until Monday, I was in a "gray area", where they couldn't say it was a healthy pregnancy or not. Lab wise,it was, U/S it was not. I never got a for sure answer and every article I read said, "go by labs" or "go by U/S". NEVER AN ANSWER, good or bad.

*VENT* The tech on Monday was horrible! I wanted to punch her. My mom went with me and so did my son, my son was behaving, sitting on my moms lap talking to my mom and the tech said to him, "aren't you supposed to take a nap at this time?" Then she went on to say that I will start bleeding soon, she could see it in my uterus. Ok, I had already come to terms that this was not a viable pregnancy with all the negative U/S, but she had no compassion at all and was just rude.

Anyway, physically I feel great. I took a shower this morning and came to work, I put on makeup and combed my hair, (which I hadn't done since finding out I was pregnant) I usually showered, threw my hair in a bun and put some BB cream on. Today, after finding out the news that I would MC, I felt like me again. I think I was just glad I got some kind of answer, even though it wasn't what I wanted. I could move on- finally!

Today at 3:45, I have a consult with the doctor to discuss my options. My heart in leaning towards a D&C. With my other MC, I let nature do it's thing and each time I bled heavy for 7 days straight with 1-2 day of really heavy bleeding and clotting. I did cramp, from light to extreme. With this last pregnancy, I feel like everything had gone too long. Too long of not knowing, too long for worrying, too long of guessing, too long for hoping, just too long. I don't want to wait the cramping to start and bleeding just to drag this out for another 7 days of bleeding. I want this over and done with ASAP so I can move on and start to crawl out from dark funk I have been in. I was also told Monday the possibility of it being a molar pregnancy. After talking to doctor again on tuesday and getting the officially U/S report, it does not look like a molar but a blighted ovum. I am tossing the idea wanting "it" (I don't even know what to call it, tissue, my sac, my baby) sent to pathology for some kind of answers. I know M/C are common, 1 out of 5 pregnancies ends in a M/C, but I'm desperate for answers. Was the pregnancy with my son fluke?? It is me, or my husband, or both?? Anyway, D&C questions for those who have had one...will I still bleed and cramp for a week? Or just spot? Did it help you emotionally? What other questions did you ask your doctor regarding options? I'm afraid of scarring. I also want to get on a non-hormonal birth control (copper IUD??) to just let my body rest, and get back into the swing of things naturally. I want to wait a few months to TTC again. I dont want to give up. I also want to see an Ayurveda doctor and see maybe that will help.

I thank you in advance for reading this very long (maybe boring post) and answering some of my questions.

Tkparry16 · November 2013

I'm so sorry for your losses! I was kind of in re same boat. This was my first pregnancy, wasn't going great, hcg kind of doubled then didn't then did but was still low, 8 wks baby measures 6 wks but had a heartbeat but it was low then on Monday we found out at 10 weeks no heartbeat and still measures 6 weeks. I just wanted it all to be over, I was so over the ups and downs and not knowing, I was actually relieved on Monday when I finally knew I miscarried.

I'm not much help but I had a D&C yesterday, had some mild cramping but done today. Had a lite heavy bleeding yesterday but it's pretty light today and I actually feel pretty good, now the healin process starts but physically I'm good! I hope this helps although I'm only 1 day post, good luck to you and hope you can find peace!!

srcr2011 · November 2013

I'm sorry your first ended in a MC as well. I'm leaning towards the D&C. I just wasn't sure if the bleeding is the same as a natural MC. It sounds like it might be better. Thank you for answering! I hope you find peace as well and hope you continue to feel good physically!

lynseyadamson · November 2013

I've had two losses (both mmc) an both times I opted for the surgical option. The procedure is quick and physically pain free afterwards aside from mild period type pains. I bled like a light period for just over a week first time, and this time in 6 days post op and only bleeding lightly. I think it helped me come to terms with my losses quicker than if I'd let nature take its course because it was over and done with and I could start to mentally heal. Hope this helps. Thinking of you xxxx

srcr2011 · November 2013

Thank you! I hoping it helps me heal as well! It sounds like it was good choices for you.

Shelynla · November 2013

I'm sorry for your loss! had a D&E on Friday morning. The first day I had barely any spotting. The next day I had some spotting and it progressively turned into period-like bleeding. Last night (Tuesday), I thought the bleeding was slowing, but this morning the bleeding got MUCH heavier (like going through a pad an hour) and I had severe cramping. I finally passed one large clot and a few smaller ones later in the morning. I was very surprised because I thought after the D&E that I would hardly have any bleeding let alone clots, but I guess things can get missed. So my experience is that you may still have bleeding and cramping. That said, my understanding is that this is still far less than what most women experience when going through a miscarriage. I could not have handled waiting, and it sounds like you're feeling the same thing. Mentally, I was relieved once the D&E was over.

Good luck!

libby+nate · November 2013

So sorry for your losses. My first (only) pregnancy ended in a mm/c at 12 weeks, baby stopped growing at 10. I could not move on with the emotional healing until after the D&C. I hated still feeling pregnant. It was the best decision for me. Follow your heart and GL on your journey and huge (((hugs)))

alm288 · November 2013

I'm very sorry for your losses! :-( I was not asked, but told I should have a d&c (my first pregnancy). I have to say it was pretty much painless. I think I took ibuprofen for like 2 days afterwards. I had some mild cramps for maybe 2 days and spotting (light) for about 5 days. I hardly felt any side effects of the d&c (physically). I went hiking with DH 4 days after the d&c. I feel like it helped me to move forward and focus on my emotions. Best of luck whatever you decide! *hugs*

aschultz9 · November 2013

Im so sorry for your losses. I had a d&c almost 8 weeks ago. I had only spotting for a few days after. Physically it was quite simple.

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