Daddy missing out?

as1baby · October 2013

So, I have state insurance and they assign a ob in your area. If you do not want to go to him/her, good luck just start calling around to see who will accept you as a new patient with that insurance.

Here is my annoyance. If I go to the girl I was referred to (very good reviews online) she has NO night/late or weekend hours. Which means, I'm going to have to ask off of work more then I planned to go to appointments (not a good idea with just starting this job) and the boyfriend cant make it, he works out of the area and doesn't have any time available now to take days off.

I have called about a dozen ob's and if they accept my insurance, they are not accepting new patients or have the same hours as first ob. He wants to be involved and IDK how to work around this..

Just my frustration of the day waiting on hold a dozen times....

BettyBoop86 · October 2013

In my experience most OB's and doctors in general do not have night or weekend hours. GL

redjan · October 2013

That sounds frustrating! With DS, the only appointments DH came to were when we heard the heartbeat and the first ultrasound. I know some couples go to every appointment together but personally, my DH would just end up bored.

tourqeyes · October 2013

BettyBoop86 said:

In my experience most OB's and doctors in general do not have night or weekend hours. GL

I was going to say this also. I only found one and they do not deliver at the hospital I wanted to be at.

As a result, I don't think my husband will be coming to any of the ultrasounds because it is very hard for him to get off. It bums me out.

Will your SO have ANY time accrued in a few months to go to an ultrasound with you? His boss may understand and excuse it.

ksuRN09 · October 2013

redjan said:
That sounds frustrating! With DS, the only appointments DH came to were when we heard the heartbeat and the first ultrasound. I know some couples go to every appointment together but personally, my DH would just end up bored.

This is what we're planning to do. From what I understand, most of the appts are pretty unexciting so there's no point in my DHtaking off work to go to all of them.

Amy+Ryan · October 2013

I agree that most office don't have night and weekend hours. This time around DH is only going to the first apt, the 20wk ultrasound and possibly one at the end depending how everything goes. The appointments are very unexciting and unless you really want him there, not necessary.

2under3 · October 2013

I agree with the other posts, most of your appts will be waiting room, blood work and getting weighed. No big deal if dad isn't there. He can be involved in lots of other ways, bring him home u/s pics and any pamphlets they give you to look over, buy him a "dad to-be" book, talk to him about how your're feeling, etc. It's not just the appointments that make them involved.

karter64 · October 2013

Sorry you don't have much choice in OBs, but maybe you could try getting a doula to support you at labor time if you don't get along with her. Most OBs are great people, but sometimes personalities just don't work well together.

Like other posters have said, the prenatal appointments are quite boring. Just weigh, pee in a cup, sometimes get blood drawn, measuring the belly and checking the heart rate.

I only got two ultrasounds during my whole pregnancy but I was low risk, and the first one was just to date the pregnancy as I have really long cycles.

I think that going to birthing classes and breastfeeding classes and infant care classes were much better at getting DH involved in the process. Especially the birthing classes because there was a lot of supporting me and leading me through breathing exercises and practicing massage and counterpressure techniques. But they usually suggest you don't start till 28 weeks so you don't forget everything when the time comes.

Maybe you could start a photojournal of the pregnancy and he can be the photographer.

as1baby · October 2013

I mostly want him there for the first one, for the ultrasound and heartbeat.... I have a call into one last doctor to see if he will take me as a patient because he has Saturday and night appointments. crossing fingers!!

purpleXdandelion · October 2013

My OB just has regular clinic hours: 9-430. Then when I go into labor, I will just have whatever OB is on at that time, I'm not guaranteed mine (unless it's a scheduled c/s). DH isn't coming to any appts but he'll (hopefully) take off the day of the anatomy scan. Hard to say, cuz February is busy season for him. I hope you find an OB that works for you!

brittany&dain · October 2013

I think those hours are common for most ob's. I know he wants to feel involved but mine only came to one appointment and that was the gender reveal where we paid and went somewhere else to find out early

Pooka8 · October 2013

Last time H only went to the A/S and I think my first appointment, because I was too sick to drive.

nursecramer · October 2013

H commutes an hour to his job, so he probably won't be attending any appointments. Maybe one of the u/s. Does your H have a job where he can take a break and maybe skype or facetime? I plan to do a video call with H at least during the u/s, maybe the heartbeat checks. Those are the only really interesting parts, anyway. lol

as1baby · November 2013

I love the idea of a video call and never thought of that. Im so excited to say though, I found a doctor who will take me and schedule me on Saturdays (so grateful for my job aspects) and then boyfriend can come to the important visits!!!

Ecomom17 · November 2013

Wow, that's great! I hope you like the doctor. There are many more important aspects to choosing an OB than their office hours, but hopefully it all works for you. I agree with what others said: most doctors don't have evening/weekend hours and the appt.s are pretty boring except u/s and first time hearing the heartbeat. Otherwise, your bf will be bored out of his mind.

Glad everything worked out, though!

bzbear2 · November 2013

Maybe he could try to plan to take off from work for 1-2 appointments where you know you will be getting an U/S? Like especially the anatomy scan?

biglewzer · November 2013

Appointments, outside of the initial and maybe 3 others, are really fast, and really boring. My husband would strangle me if I made him take off of work for a 10 minute appointment once a month.

as1baby · November 2013

I just want the ability for him to come to the important ones (not finding out sex- so probably just 2 or 3) and so that I can hide the pregnancy longer by having my appointments not during work hours and to have worst case possibilities of someone to drive me if im too big/sick

natkay02 · November 2013

I've never heard of night or weekend hours, they don't do that here in podunk. I just tell work I have a doctor's appointment and stay later that day if necessary. My husband came to the ones that happened to fall on his days off since he doesn't have the flexibility I have.

Daddy missing out?

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