I need someone to talk me down. Do I need to chill, or does it sound like she's really trying to hurt my feelings?
My mom is planning my baby shower. I did not ask her to do it, but when she offered, I just couldn't say no. It would break her heart. I am her only daughter, and she never got to throw me a bridal shower or help plan my wedding because I went to the JOP, which could be why both of us are getting so worked up over things.
Anyway, she asked me what kind of filling I want in my cake, and I went on and on about how I'll never forget my brother's wedding cake because it had one layer with buttercream and sliced strawberries and one layer with strawberries blended into the buttercream. I seriously loved this cake. Actually, I'm generally crazy for strawberries when it comes to cake, which is well-known in the family. I think of it as a near-universally-loved flavor, so I was sure it would please the guests. Strawberries also work very well with the theme of the shower, which is basically a watercolor red heart (off of the invitations).
When I finished my spiel, my mom immediately said, "No, we can't do strawberry because I'm allergic." My internal reaction was, "Are you kidding me?" I no longer live near her, but when I did, I saw this woman eat strawberries all of the time. She does get a pimple when she eats them, but it doesn't ruin her life, and again, she eats them whenever she feels like it. What I said was, "Really? You wouldn't get it because of that? You eat strawberries all of the time." And really, I tried to sound as calm as possible because I wanted to get my way rather than start a fight. We discussed it for a moment, but because it was getting adversarial, I asked her to just think it over.
So is my mom just being selfish because she holds the power of the purse? Does it sound like she is being malicious? Or contrary? Or am I being a momzilla? TIA.