- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Attachment Parenting
JoJo716
member
I am a FTM to an almost 6 month old son. I kind of fell into an AP style of parenting by following my instincts and doing some research. We do not follow everything to the letter but we do many things, such as co-sleeping (sometimes bed sharing), nursing, baby wearing, etc. I love the bond that AP practices help to foster!
Another Intro and Need Support (long)
JoJo716
member
Sorry this is so long!
However, we recently have had some issues regarding circumcision. My ds is not circumcised and I will admit, it is purely because he had an issue at birth that required a delay. When I was pregnant, I really did not do research and just went with the idea that if dh was for, then I would be as well. I feel terrible that I did not educate myself on the issue. Since then, I have done my research and I am just not comfortable with the idea of circumcision. DH is still very much in favor.
Today we had an appointment with a pediatric urologist to discuss his issue and to consult about a possible surgery. It was my understanding from the beginning that if he had to have corrective surgery, a circumcision would probably be necessary.However, the doctor said that his issue was very minor and would most likely not cause him any problems in the future. However, he then went into the circumcision issue. He said he would recommend surgery to have the circumcision. This would require anesthesia. I am really uncomfortable with him having surgery for the circumcision alone. DH pretty much threw me under the bus at the get go by telling the doctor I was against it because I had been "googling". (ugh, just ugh) So the doctor pretty much went into all of the reasons he should get circ'd (hygiene, risk of std's, psycho-social repercussions, etc). I have researched and am familiar with all of them and to me, they just do not make a strong case.
So basically it was decided that we would table the issue for a year. DH has agreed to look at the research. In a year, we will revisit his issue from birth and see if surgery is necessary (ie- the problem has worsened). If the issue is not causing trouble, then we will have to decide if we want to continue with the circumcision. I guess the problem is that I feel completely alone. Everyone I know makes me feel like the obvious choice is to have him circumcised. It could my own complex, but they make me feel like I am doing something wrong or being extremely difficult by questioning everything. I feel like I am on my own island .
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Another Intro and Need Support (long)
Did the doctor make his recommendation to circumcise based on DS' specific medical case, or was he just recommending it because he sees benefits to circumcision and is pro-circ in general? I really believe that on this issue, parents need to make the informed decision that is right for them, but if the doctor was concerned based on your son's diagnosis, I might give that recommendation (and the reasons behind it) more weight.
We did circumcise DS and I do not regret the decision. It was important to DH, and I decided to leave it up to him. We had it done properly with pain medication administered in advance of the procedure as well as just before.
::Hugs:: This is not an easy decision. I must admit that I do pray for girls, just because I don't want to have to make this decision again.
We had it done at 8 days, so it was also an easier decision to make. No anesthesia or major surgical process, and he will never have any memory of it. Plus he was barely aware it was happening (obviously the second it happened, he knew, but like a shot, he was over it moments later) While I respect your decision to table discussions for a year, do you think that's going to make it any easier? I personally feel like it will make it even harder for you if you decide to circumcise as he will be much more aware of the situation and scared.
I think this is a decision you and your husband should make now. Whether that means have him circumcised now or only have him circumcised if medically necessary in a year. And there's not really a wrong answer to this. Don't worry about what friends say - there isn't an obvious answer. Especially if you're uncomfortable about it.
@blu-eyedwife27 I agree. I am starting to rethink the year thing as well. As hard as it will be now, I think it would be even harder at 18 mo.
When my DS was born they couldn't perform the circumcision due to torsion and chordee. We didn't see the pediatric urologist until DS was almost 5 months. During that time DH and decided that as long as DS was fine we would just leave things be. When we finally saw the urologist he told us it wasn't medically necessary to fix it but it would be bent when DS wanted to use it in the future.
In the end we agreed to surgery to have it corrected. The urologist told us we could fix it while he was a baby or let him decide when he was older. He did say if we waited and my DS decided to due it later it would be a more painful recovery.
He was put under general anesthesia for the correction at 7 months. The worst part of it was not being able to nurse him before surgery. The recovery wasn't bad at all. He was playing the next day and didn't 't seem to be at all uncomfortable. We kept him home with a grandma the rest of the week but he would have been fine going to daycare the next day.
If you're going to circumcise I would definitely do it sooner rather than later. I did have a lot of conflicted feelings leading up to the surgery but 3 years later I'm glad it's been done and DS won't have to worry about it.