Asking Daycare for Medical Accomodations

cocoamommie2 · November 2013

So I EBF and my almost 3 month old is in daycare 10 hours a day during the week. Recently I have noticed my LO hasn't been having BM's as frequently in the past couple weeks which I was told is normal in breastfed babies. I had previously been monitoring his movements to keep track of food allergy reactions and possible sickness or tummy trouble but he hasn't had a "dirty" diaper with me (overnight and weekends) in about a week and a 1/2. I asked the nursery caregiver if she could save a dirty diaper for me to look at so that I could make sure there is not mucus in it and to make sure its overall normal and she seemed put off by it. She tried to assure me that the movements were normal and seemed reluctant to agree to save a diaper. I explained that I was not questioning whether or not he was having them I simply want to be able to have an informed conversation with his pediatrician about his movements and I can't do that if all I know is what I'm being told by them. Not to mention that I think it's odd that he doesn't have BM's at all at home (even on the weekends) but having them multiple times during the day there.

I feel like I should not have to justify needing her to save a dirty diaper so that I can make sure my child is responding well to my diet and isn't otherwise sick or unnecessarily uncomfortable. How else will I know if the stools are normal if he is not having movements when at home but having multiple stools at the daycare.

Am I asking too much of the daycare??

laurakaz13 · November 2013

I think you are asking too much. I know our daycare has extremely strict cleanliness guidelines and they would not hold onto a dirty diaper in a classroom full of babies just to calm my fears.

I'm sorry but it sounds like you're a nervous mom overreacting. My DD had changes in bowel movements quite often when she started at daycare. For one thing, she was being fed more by a bottle and it made her more gassy.

I think it's normal to be nervous when LO's first start daycare, but if your LO is happy, healthy, not losing weight, etc. why are you worried?

mittensonkittens · November 2013

I would trust the daycare to let you know if there is evidence of a problem. They have seen many dirty diapers and should be able to tell normal from abnormal.

jennyelf · November 2013

I go to a center with pretty strict rules, and I know that they can and will save a diaper for medical reasons. Especially if the diaper needs to be saved for blood testing and the like. I don't think this is an unreasonable request.

FemShep · November 2013

Yes, you may be asking too much. Depending on the state, the center may not be able to save a diaper. Also, gross. Instead, why not ask the teacher to snap a picture of the diaper? That should get you what you need.

cocoamommie2 · November 2013

He has a milk allergy. He was diagnosed just before I returned to work and I'm nervous that I could be eating other foods that might bother him and I'm not able to monitor his reactions. I just don't want him to suffer because he is not getting the attention that I would give him which is why I didn't ask them to examine his movements but to just let me do it. My daughter had a nanny the first 3 years of her life and there was nothing I couldn't ask her to do assuming she wasn't already doing it. This whole cookie cutter childcare environment is so new to me I struggle with the fact that the ration is 6:1 (how can one person adequately care for 6 infants all at one time?) but financially this is my only option. I know I sound nervous and irrational but how else can I stay on top of his health if the one person who is taking care of him can't speak to me one on one because she's busy caring for 5 other babies from the time I drop him off to the time I pick him up?

financialdiva · November 2013

I think you are asking too much. A stinky diaper sitting around smelling up the whole room? That sounds disgusting.

But I complete understand why you are concerned. Maybe they can take a picture of his diaper?

cocoamommie2 · November 2013

jennyelf you made my night. She didn't say that she could not or would not do it, she just seemed hesitant. I think having an allergy is enough of a medical reason. Maybe I could offer to provide a separate diaper pail for his diapers. That sounds a bit over the top but I'm lost with this one.

emberlee3 · November 2013

I had to submit numerous poop samples last year for DD, and I never even considered asking my nanny to be involved. I would never ask daycare to do it. I collected samples on weekends. It was not uncommon for her to only have BMs with the nanny during the week. DD had mucus in her stool for her whole first year. I did sometimes ask the nanny if it was getting worse, or she would tell me if it looked worse than usual, especially when we were trying to introduce foods.

emberlee3 · November 2013

OP, DD had multiple food protein intolerance during her first year. After failing to tolerate BFing with me on total elimination diet, I finally switched her Neocate and she did better. Her stool was never normal until she turned 1. It would be very unusual for a child with infrequent BMs to have mucus, so try not to worry too much. Does your LO seem happy and easy to feed? DD had horrible colic, persistent diaper rash, and feeding refusal. Now she is a toddler who is always ridiculously happy, a great eater, and never gets a rash

dizzycooks · November 2013

We use cloth diapers and I had the pleasure if taking home every single dirty diaper she made to deal with myself. It can be done with out being unsanitary or smelling up the room. Perhaps you can switch to cloth if it's really an issue?

cocoamommie2 · November 2013

now there's an idea... thanks

cocoamommie2 · November 2013

emberlee3 said:

OP, DD had multiple food protein intolerance during her first year. After failing to tolerate BFing with me on total elimination diet, I finally switched her Neocate and she did better. Her stool was never normal until she turned 1. It would be very unusual for a child with infrequent BMs to have mucus, so try not to worry too much. Does your LO seem happy and easy to feed? DD had horrible colic, persistent diaper rash, and feeding refusal. Now she is a toddler who is always ridiculously happy, a great eater, and never gets a rash

Neocate, I'll google that thanks. My LO also has a cows milk protein allergy and its next to impossible to determine if what I'm eating is causing when he attends daycare a frequently as he does. No rashes or feeding refusal from me but I will ask the daycare. I would hate to give up BFing but I am so worried for him I just want to do whats best for him. So happy your LO is doing well after such a trying 1st year. Thanks for the suggestions

welly01 · November 2013

I was also going to suggest cloth diapers!

We've used them for the 9 months he's been in daycare and I get to see every single poopy diaper he has, lol.

But I don't think having them save a diaper for you is that outrageous. Its not like its all of them all the time, you just want one or maybe two right? Good luck!

cedenton · November 2013

Well, I don't see why they couldn't put it in a ziploc bag in a plastic bag for you. NBD IMO. But, I use cloth, so...

LoCarb · November 2013

1st saving a shitty diaper is disgusting and I would side eye the request too.

I have been in your position before. I needed a stool sample and asked the DC to notify when LO poops and I would be there immediately. I worked a mile from the DC. The BM was in the a.m. and I couldn't imagine it would be sanitary to hold the entire day not to mention the smell. Actually, my DD had diarrhea for 6 wks and the brand diapers were too absorbing not allowing me to get a good sample. I had to take a bag cut holes in the legs and place it on DD1's like a diaper then place her actual diaper on top. This allowed me to get a good example.

Do you want ALL diapers saved or just one in the next day? I think you need to be clear on your request. Offer gracious alternatives; pick up the poop immediately, take a picture, bag the sample or just trust the DC to write down any changes in color, mucous or consistency.

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