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N2IF: Am I being unreasonable?

tuscanbride2007tuscanbride2007 member
in Secondary IF
So my brother-in-law got engaged a little less than a month ago. I mentioned in another post that my MIL basically is acting like he is marrying royalty. Anyway, I went out to dinner with some friends last night and got a text from DH asking if I care if they got married on April 12, our wedding anniversary. Out of the 365 days in the year they choose my wedding anniversary? DH thinks I am being unreasonable and that it will only affect us on one anniversary. But it is our anniversary. I don't know I just don't understand why they can't pick another day. It's not like being engaged for a little longer hurts. /end rant

BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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TTC #3 since May 2012

BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

No longer trying to conceive.

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Re: N2IF: Am I being unreasonable?

  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    That does seem kind of stupid. Why would they want to get married on a day they know is special to you and your H, why not pick their own special day? I'm not sure why they seem to be in some weird competition with you two, but you have to just let them do their thing and do not let it bother you. It kind of seems like they're trying to irritate you and your H, you know? So don't give them any satisfaction. In the long run, that day will always be special to you and your H- it's not like in 10 years you're going to say "Oh let's celebrate BILs' anniversary today, instead" lol 

    Just don't even pay them any mind. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



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  • Jen071407Jen071407 member
    That'd piss me off, too. In fact, MH's BFF from high school married his wife on our 5th anniversary and it did bug me then, but in retrospect, meh, not that big of a deal. So, no, I don't think you're being unreasonable.

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

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  • SnowflakeBride06SnowflakeBride06 member
    I would be peaved. Maybe they wouldn't go through with it. So I'd keep quiet till they book everything. FWIW, my sister eloped 6 weeks before my wedding, it felt like she stole me thunder but in the end it was fine. 


     6/09 right tube loss (fallopian torsion) 12/09 BFP #1 (DD born 9/10)
    8/12 dx Lupus (ANA+/APA-), 12/12 BFP #2  natural m/c 6w 2d 
    TTC#2  since 9/12  50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #1 Beta 10/4=BFN
                                 50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #2 Beta 11/1= BFN
                                      100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #3 Beta 12/26=BFFN
    100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #4 Beta 2/14= BFFN
    Took a LONG Break
    Lots of Luck and Love BFPB for life KOFMKG
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  • CeCe8579CeCe8579 member
    Why that day? Does it have special meaning to them? If not, I would be annoyed. If you feel comfortable saying something, I would. If not, just ignore them and think of it as an honor. You'll get to attend a celebration for your anniversary. Hugs!
    Carly
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          


    Potato Launcher


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  • GraceyandTroyGraceyandTroy member
    I would think that was lame and roll my eyes at them.  But I don't think I would let it get to me too much.  I might do something passive aggressive like say we can't make it to some of the festivities because we will be taking time out to celebrate our anniversary.  But I don't know.  
    Happily Mrs. C 
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    start ttc #1 in Jan 2009
    dx PCOS in May 2010, begin metformin
    Two failed clomid cycles (made lining too thin)
    Started acupuncture while saving for IVF in Sept 2011
    Add herbal infusions to the mix in Dec 2011
    Hoping holistic approach works!!!

    BFP on April 2012 at 11dpo
    Meepy Man born on Jan 2013 - Hip Hip Hurray!

    Ready to start ttc #2 April 2013, but plan to be an extended BF'er
    Back on metformin Aug 2013
    Restart herbal infusions Sept 2013 - currently drinking nettle, oatstraw, and red raspberry leaf
    DS weaned in April 2014
    Taking a break from herbs and just riding the healthy train.  
    Planning medicated cycle end of summer.  FX I get KU before then!!!
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  • CheesyPeasCheesyPeas member
    Personally I wouldn't care too much because honestly our anniversary date could come and go without me realizing it.  I'm just weird like that.  i certainly don't think you're being unreasonable for wanting it to be another day though.  I can totally see where you're coming from.
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

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  • tuscanbride2007tuscanbride2007 member
    Thanks ladies!! I was afraid that the hormones were getting to me and I was starting to lose my mind! I guess in the long run it doesn't really matter. I just was taken aback by the fact that she wouldn't want her own wedding date.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

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  • chusumchusum member
    I'd be bothered. If it's April, there are 3 other Saturdays in April. There must be a reason they are being difficult. I'd let them do whatever they want and just don't allow them to get under your skin. In 2015 you won't even have to notice it's their wedding date too.

    image
    Married August 9, 2008
    TTC Since September 2009

    1st   BFP | EDD 10/23/10 | Natural M/C 03/27/10 | 10w 0d
    2nd BFP 06/26/10 | EDD 02/25/11 | Natural  M/C 07/17/10 | 8w 1d
    3rd  BFP 12/17/10 | EDD 08/24/11 | Natural M/C 12/31/10 | 7w 4d
    4th  BFP 06/22/11 | EDD 02/25/12 | M/C D&C on 07/27/11 | 9w4d
    5th  BFP 09/17/11 | DD Paige Lily born 05/16/12
    6th  BFP 08/11/12 | EDD 04/11/13 | CP
    7th  BFP 09/29/13 | EDD 06/04/14 | Natural M/C 10/27/13 | 8w1d
    8th  BFP 12/16/13 | EDD 09/01/14

    DX: Pericentric Inversion of Chromosome 8 & compound heterozygous for MTHFR mutations
    RX: Lovenox/Heparin & Folgard

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  • Amores0121Amores0121 member
    that's boug. Yeah, I just used that word. Not sure if that's how you spell it either. But that's so shitty. ((hugs))


    BFP #1 ended in MMC. Discovered Oct 2005 @10w5d, baby stopped growing around 6w. D&C.
    BFP#2 Nov 2005. Baby's heart stopped @ 8w3d. D&C Jan 2006. Trisomy 18
    BFP#3 Nov 2006. My "miracle baby" DD born 7/25/07
    BFP #4 11/6/12. EDD 7/16/13~my birthday! No sac found @ 5w1d, betas not increasing. Natural m/c started 11/20/12.

    BFP#5 11/9/13.  EDD 7/21/14  Our beautiful rainbow born on his due date!!

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  • MommaInNCMommaInNC member
    That would definitely bother me unless that day was special to them or some reason.  That's your anniversary!  How frustrating. 
    B/G twins born 3.22.11
    TTC #3
    M/C 10.26.13 @ 6w2d
     
    image


     



     

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  • freakyfastfreakyfast member
    I would be bothered to. I mean why your day? Unless they look up to you or something and they want what you have. Otherwise I would think they want their own special day.



      


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  • KC1212KC1212 member
    I don't know if the day would bother me or not.

    Now, if flowers, decor, dress, venue etc. started to look the same then I would have a problem.

    Sorry they are being so crappy. I wouldn't let it get to you. Don't let their day ruin YOUR day - ya know? :)
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


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