pgal brain... learning how to cope as much as I can ! Ideas?

NBA0703 · November 2013

Hello everyone! Hope everyone is having a great day! Just wondering how you guys would cope during your pregnancy if you have had a previous loss? I am already spoiled by getting ultrasounds monthly but now I wish I could get them done every 2 weeks! I am usually good for 2 weeks after the ultrasound but now my mind starts wondering! I worry that maybe my cervix is thinning or opening and this scares me. Sounds silly but I am worried because I have come upon sad stories on here about that happening before the twins are viable and they lose them soo now I can't get that out of my head! : ( The internet is mostly helpful but sometimes can make things worse! : ( I have a heart doppler soo that helps to know they still have nice strong heartbeats! But sometimes my stomach feels like a hard ball but is not painful soo I wonder if this is little contractions that could do something... aghh see here is my mind and sorry you had to read all this but thanks for letting me get it off my chest! We are just soo excited about these babies and have had a long journey to get here soo fear it is too good to be true sometimes!

Stephanie2167 · November 2013

I'm sorry about your previous loss. I had one before DD and then one before these. It's hard in the beginning, especially when you now have two to worry about. You just have to trust in God that he is keeping those babies safe. Every doppler check and ultrasound relieves my anxiety and then a week later I worry about my cervix and the movement of the girls.

Stay positive. You're doing great!

NBA0703 · November 2013

Thanks soo much! I have had a few days where I have been really positive and have bought stuff... and we announced our boys name this weekend which is a HUGE step for us. And now I sit and worry! I will say extra prayers for God to comfort my mind! I am just ready to be to the viability stage soo maybe I will feel a little better! 6.5 more weeks!

zazu13 · November 2013

I have all the same irrational fears. I worry because I can't feel them, I can't tell if my belly has grown, I'm uncomfortable, then it goes away, maybe I should be more uncomfortable, discharge makes me worry I'm Leaking fluid... Etc, etc. I wish i could turn it off and just enjoy. My tummy gets really hard at night and after being on my feet. Then in the morning it feels sqishier and smaller so, yeah... You're not alone.

NBA0703 · November 2013

Zazu13 are you around the same amount of weeks as I am !? Looks like you did IVF in July, so did we! : )

hootie123 · November 2013

I never had a previous loss but it took me 5 IVFs to actually get pregnant - so in that time believe me I saw and read a ton of horror stories about people having late losses with twins. I can say that I pretty much had the same feelings as you have thoughout my pregnancy so far. And it's really hard to believe that everything is going OK and is going to actually stay that way. Honestly I don't think these feelings will completely subside (although I am feeling much better as I get closer to 28weeks) until I have these babies in my arms and know that they are ok.

ceechie · November 2013

Twin pregnancies are hard. Everyone wanted tell me a horror story. And I had previous losses also. You really have to just take it one day at a time. And know that it's not silly to be scared and worried. I think the key is that you understand your emotions but don't let your emotions overtake you. And talk to your OB about it. Mind let me have more in office ultrasounds because of my previous loss. She was willing to do a lot more for me just to relieve the stress. Big hugs and stay healthy!
PS what are the names?!? I love baby names!

bumpuser924057 · November 2013

I had two losses before having my son, so I was paranoid throughout that entire pregnancy. With the twins, though, I felt like I never even had a chance to get worried because I was monitored so heavily. I think once you've been through that, it never fully leaves you, so there's always going to be some concern in the back of your mind, but try not to obsess if you can.

NBA0703 · November 2013

Thanks everyone! We have only been pregnant 2 other times and both ended early......I feel like it could happen this time too but then I try to remind myself that we have made it to 17.3 weeks and everything has been good so far... theceshirekat- how often were you monitored? I feel like once a month isnt enought to catch if the cervix is changing or not..

Kershnic · November 2013

NBA0703 said:

Thanks everyone! We have only been pregnant 2 other times and both ended early......I feel like it could happen this time too but then I try to remind myself that we have made it to 17.3 weeks and everything has been good so far... theceshirekat- how often were you monitored? I feel like once a month isnt enought to catch if the cervix is changing or not..

My MFM told me she wanted me to get cervix checks every 2 weeks starting from 16w. The OB seemed to think this was a little nuts. If you're really worried maybe you can push for more frequent cervix checks?

Kissimi21 · November 2013

Try taking it one week at a time. 40 weeks is a long time, but counting every week as an individual goal makes it a lot easier.

After losing my first baby, I spent my entire second pregnancy completely paranoid. Every twinge was a miscarriage. Every time I felt sick I was convinced I lost him (I had severe dizziness and vomiting right before my loss), but if I didn't feel sick I was convinced the lack of m/s meant I lost him. I started using weeks and doctor appointments as mini goals. Example: Counting down days. Six days until 18 weeks, 5 days until 18 weeks, etc... Taking each day one by one until the next week made the weeks go by faster. You can do this for appointments too. I did the same thing with my twins. After losing Baby C, I was sure something bad was going to happen to the other two. Breaking down the months got me and them through 38 weeks without losing my mind.

It is so hard being Pgal because your innocence is gone. You can never have that naivety that a positive HPT guarantees having a baby again. Try to enjoy your pregnancy if/when you can because it goes by quicker than you know.

Good luck and I hope to see you on here in 20 weeks begging for a OWT for inducing labor.

zazu13 · November 2013

NBA0703 said:

Zazu13 are you around the same amount of weeks as I am !? Looks like you did IVF in July, so did we! : )

Yep! We're due date buddies:)!

bumpuser924057 · November 2013

NBA0703 said:

Thanks everyone! We have only been pregnant 2 other times and both ended early......I feel like it could happen this time too but then I try to remind myself that we have made it to 17.3 weeks and everything has been good so far... theceshirekat- how often were you monitored? I feel like once a month isnt enought to catch if the cervix is changing or not..

I think I was going in every three weeks by the time I was as far along as you are, but I honestly don't remember. I just felt like I was at the doctor a LOT. I mean, in addition to the standard OB visits, there was the NT scan, the anatomy scan, and follow-up visits with the perinatologist. I know I was seen more frequently with the twins than I was with my singleton.

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pgal brain... learning how to cope as much as I can ! Ideas?

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