Late Term and Child Loss

Memorial Service 2 years later

We just had a memorial service for our son on Saturday, which would've been his 2nd birthday. We never had one at the time of his death, and as more and more time passed it just didn't sit right with us. He deserved better.

Despite the time that had passed, many people came and the service went very well. I was able to get up and speak, something I never could have done at the time. I talked about our loss, how he has changed us and our love for him. I talked about our lives before and after his loss, and the perspective 2 years of grief has lent us.

I just wanted to share in case others feel similarly. If you never had a service for your baby and feel badly about it now, it's not too late. No one thought it was weird at all. We felt very loved. We feel good about it now. I feel like a weight has been lifted...just a little bit.
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Re: Memorial Service 2 years later

  • ***LO ticker*** I'm so glad you were able to have a service for your son. What a blessing.
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
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    I'm so glad you had a service.  I've been meaning to post, we just had ours (5 months out) and I'm glad we waited.  It allowed me to plan it and not just be in shock.  Thanks for sharing - Hugs!
    ~ Leah, Rachel and Gabriel were born on May 27, 2013 (23 weeks) ~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thank you for sharing this. I never had a service for my daughter, in my shock and confusion I thought I shouldn't have one and just move on. No one told me a service would be healing and normal thing to do.

    I regret this so much at times. I am so glad you were able to have the kind of service you wanted and were able to honor your little one in such a loving way.
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    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
  • How wonderful to have everyone come together to love and support your family and you precious baby.  We chose not to have a ceremony at all, and I think we might do something for Jesse's 1 year birthday.  Thanks for sharing this!
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    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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  • I'm so glad you were able to honor him. I am sure he is smiling down on you and his daddy and sisters.
    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
  • How wonderful!  I love that this happened and it gives me hope that maybe one day we can do something similar, so thank you for sharing.

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • It's wonderful that you got to honor Nathaniel and be supported and loved. This gives me hope for when we're ready to do that.
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
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    Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers



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  • I'm glad to hear you had a lovely memorial for you son.
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    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

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