Thoughts on a second shower/sprinkle

legaleagles · November 2013

The twins are my 2nd pregnancy and 2nd/3rd kids. I had 2 amazing showers for DD, plus one at work. It is a fact that we need a lot more stuff now that there are 2 on the way: carseats, a new stroller, cribs, clothes if one of them is a boy, more bottles, a swing (ours broke so we don't even have 1), etc. One friend said I needed a shower, but I'm feeling weird about it. I don't know if she'd offer to host or if she was just mentioning it. Nobody else has suggested it yet, I'm 13 weeks. We haven't announced to many people yet - will probably do that in the next month or so. Is it tacky to have another shower (if someone offers to host) for a 2nd pregnancy? Should I start a registry (even if just for the completion coupon for DH and I)?

sasky · November 2013

Wow, I was just going to start a similar thread! We have a 3.5 year old and we had a shower for him. I would generally not want a shower for my subsequent pregnancies (although I think that mentality might be unpopular in some crowds). But the age gap between kids is more than we were expecting, and just thinking about all the stuff we need for TWO is making my head spin.

The idea of a shower hasn't come up since we're so early and so few people know. But I have a feeling it will and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with it. I'm wondering what others have done too.

zazu13 · November 2013

Don't ask this on the baby shower board cuz you will get a zillion rude comments. I personally think if someone offers and you invite close friends and family (who would likely give you a gift anyway) it's fine. I've been invited to many showers that weren't for 1st babies and was never put off. Whether you have one or not, the registry for a completion coupon is a no brainier.

pillowass · November 2013

I agree with zazu13. We had a shower for our twins, but it was more of a party (co-ed, with lots of good food and alcohol for the non-pregnant.) We did register but the invite said something to the effect of "No gifts necessary, but if you want to contribute they are registered at xx." We also put the word out that we welcomed hand-me downs and/or borrowed swings, bouncers, etc. Chances are people will want to help you out!

24karat · November 2013

It's generally viewed as bad etiquette to have a shower other than for your first. That said, 2nd showers are becoming more accepted in some circles. If someone offers, it's up to you. My friends and my mom's probably wouldn't have batted an eye if she threw one for me (she offered) but I felt really uncomfortable about it so I declined. I didn't want to offend anyone or appear gift-grabby, especially after so many of them had volunteered to help me with our then-20 month old DD during the 3+ months I was on bed rest. It just didn't sit right with me. I did let my mom to host a simple open house to meet the babies when we went to visit (they're in Washington, I'm in New England) and we specified no gifts. A few people still brought them anyway.

Even after all that, a bunch of my friends organized a surprise "diaper drive" and stopped by my house after the babies were born with over 1000 diapers, bulk boxes of wipes, and a few weeks' worth of freezer meals. Others gave us gently used items like clothes, a crib, and bouncers. We recently moved so a neighbor threw us a "welcome to our neighborhood" party and mentioned my pregnancy to our other new neighbors so they also have kept an eye out for free/cheap used baby goods for us. My sisters bought infant seats and a DSNG for our Christmas present when we found out about the twins so we pretty much have the big things we need.

Definitely do a registry for the completion coupon if nothing else. I did one on amazon, BRU, and Target for that reason alone.

Felicity86 · November 2013

I wouldn't. There's really not that much extra you need for twins. I got along fine with one swing and bouncer (which is what most of my singleton mom friends have as well). Other than two rock n plays, my registry looked pretty similar to a singleton's. The other necessary twin stuff (double stroller, extra crib, car seat) are the pricier things that I wouldn't feel comfortable putting on a registry anyway. But I certainly wouldn't judge someone who did have a second shower.

kez1515 · November 2013

My mil is throwing us one but I have the same discomfort. I asked it be more of a baby party where it was more like the last big gathering before the kids came. We are also writing that gifts aren't necessary and basically what everyone said above. I find that if you are conscious of trying not to be gift hungry, that it comes across that way and people will see you just want to see them :-)

marcobonny · November 2013

I had never heard of having a shower for you 2nd or 3rd child was rude/tacky until I started reading blogs. I guess in my community people get really excited for a new baby and love buying gifts. I'm pregnant with my 3rd and 4th and my shower is this weekend and it's the biggest shower I've had compared with my first and second baby. I think everyone is just really excited about our girls' arrival and really eager to help out with whatever they can (even if that means buying a package of diapers). If I new a friend or family member were having twins I would love to help them out in any way I could! So I def don't think it's tacky to have a celebration for your babies at all! Whether it's your 1st or 4th baby.

Mrs.Guz · November 2013

It depends on your circle. In my circle, it's perfectly acceptable to have 2nd shower. I had one for my twins. DD1 is 5 and I had one for her as well.

kimberm0511 · November 2013

I think the idea of it being tacky to have showers for second or more pregnancies is kind of an old school way of thinking. Most everyone I know has subsequent showers. However, the nature of the shower may be different from the first child. I have friends with 4+ kids that had diaper parties for each pregnancy. If you have a child that is a different sex than your first, then you obviously need new items. I love that the term "sprinkle" has become so popular. I think that shows that it has become socially acceptable to have subsequent showers. If anyone offers to host one, let them. Just be sure to let them know exactly what you want. I think every baby should be celebrated!

legaleagles · November 2013

Thanks, ladies. I do think someone will offer to host, likely my friend that mentioned it since she's a party thrower, but it was a bit hard to wrap my head around...I"ll certainly register for the completion coupons, if nothing else.

Kissimi21 · November 2013

It all depends on your social circle. Some people think it's tacky, while more and more people are having multiple showers or sprinkles. IMO it isn't bad if you keep it to close friends and family. If you invite the girl at work you never talk to and your H's best friend's ex-girlfriend you met once 5 years ago, then that would be tacky.

I had a second shower for my twins. I wasn't comfortable with it at first, but I don't like being singled out at my own b-day nevermind in a room full of baby-crazed relatives and friends. There would have been hell to pay if I declined, so I made sure to let everyone know that gift were not necessary.

HattieDornbush · November 2013

I felt weird about having one for my twins, because they were my second and third. However, my aunt threw one and it was an amazing help. We are just now buying diapers and the twins are 6 months old. Plus I have been getting invites to second, third, and even forth baby showers for people who are having one baby. So I say go for it.

Momof8inSC · November 2013

I have 6 kids w twins on the way. The ONLY time I wasn't thrown a shower was second baby bc they were only 18 mos apart and I requested that. I've had a shower or two w every other baby. Not my idea, but friends and family insisted that EVERY baby should be celebrated. I never registered and people brought what we they wanted.

I'm not expecting one this time, although we probably need it the worst bc I had my tubes tied and got rid of everything baby. Everything. My youngest will be 3 when babies are born, but again, I literally gave away everything baby related. If we don't have a shower, that's absolutely no problem AT ALL. I won't be upset at all. I'll just ask for GC at xmas from family (we don't exchange w friends) or hubby and I will call it our xmas and my bday (jan).

I do not think ANYTHING is wrong w subsequent baby showers. I wouldn't expect one, but if it's offered, that's THEIR offer and choice. Just enjoy!!

kellibelle0417 · November 2013

My friend just has a second shower with close friends and family that her friend and sister hosted for her. It was simple and perfect. A few snacks, drinks, a simple game. I loved it. I personally think it is fine.

I agree it is becoming more popular these days.

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