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Lactose intolerant guest at baby shower

maid of honourmaid of honour member
in Baby Showers
I am hosting a small (less than 10 guests) baby shower for my sister-in-law next weekend.  I have just found out that one guest is lactose intolerant.  The cake has already been ordered (caramel-fudge) and contains dairy.  Etiquette wise, should I change the cake to a lactose free one to include this guest, or perhaps have the cake store make a separate small cake/cupcake for her?
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Re: Lactose intolerant guest at baby shower

  • jennylryanjennylryan member
    Is it possible to find out if this person does not eat anything with lactose in it at all or if they take lactase (Lactaid or Digestive Advantage) pills so they can eat foods with lactose in them??
    I do the latter, so it's never an issue when I'm out eating somewhere other than home.
    Jenny-34, DH-39, Furdog-Nissa
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  • Ceridwen21Ceridwen21 member
    Don't change the cake, but do have som dessert she could eat (ex. Fruit salad).

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  • maid of honourmaid of honour member
    Thank you for your replies ladies.  Jenny, I spoke to the MTB and she said the guest doesn't eat much cake anyways and not to worry about it. I was stressing and wanted to be as inclusive as possible (as well as following correct etiquette).  All the other menu items are lactose free and i have some vegan options as well. Hopefully my bases are covered! 


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  • NicolewinsbingoNicolewinsbingo member
    I think a single cupcake was a sweet idea, but sounds like you've got it covered. And godairyfree.com has recipes for those thinking there is no good dairy free cake. :)
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  • tatianaazulaytatianaazulay member
    I am lactose intolerant and I am more than used to going to places and having limited options to eat... I never expect to have something special just for me...but I think the cupcake idea is great to make this guest feel special... And it's also good that are going to be other options that are lactose free
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    I'm lactose and don't expect others to plan around my dietary needs.  Either I have some or don't.  You can't expect to accommodate everyone's wants/needs.  But as others have mentioned, I'd include some fruit.  Maybe not everyone wants cake anyway.
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    I am also lactose intolerant and unless I'm the guest of honor, I don't expect anyone to make adjustments to the menu for me.  (and even when I AM the guest of honor, I typically have icecream with my cake - just in extreme moderation).
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  • redhead610redhead610 member
    I agree with other posters. I am also lactose intolerant and would never expect someone to accommodate it. It's not like an airborne nut allergy that is life threatening. Either she can not eat cake or take a Lactaid pill. Perhaps have cookies or something else available as well, but many people can tolerate some dairy (as opposed to a dairy allergy).
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  • RebeccaY1RebeccaY1 member
    I wouldn't worry too much about it.  If the guest had a life-threatening allergy I could understand changing the menu.  Since it's an allergy where she just needs to avoid the items with dairy, I would just make sure to let the guest know which items to avoid.
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  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    You've already gotten some great responses, so it looks like you're covered. I just wanted to take a moment to commend you for being so sweet and considerate of your guests. As much asshattery that we see from hostesses or MTBs of showers, it's nice to see someone with grace and manners.
     
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  • highlightshighlights member
    I'm also lactose intolerant, I just want to say, while I appreciate the gesture, please don't order something special for the guest. It puts them on the spot, and makes them feel obligated to enjoy something that they may not enjoy. 

    I once went to a bridal shower that served lasagna and had a fantastic salad. The mother of the bride knew I was lactose intolerant, so she brought chicken patties from home and made them especially for me. While I appreciated the gesture, I felt obligated to eat a freezer burned chicken patty instead of this awesome salad that I would have enjoyed. For the most part, people with food issues are used to finding something they can eat, or eating before or after an event. So while the gesture is wonderful, it really isn't needed. 
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