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Rigidity

august06momaugust06mom member
in Special Needs
What are some ways that you deal with this? DS2 is HFA and this is a huge issue for us. His team is working on it with us, but he's much more flexible when he's out and about at school than when he's at home. I know that's a good thing, but it does make home life very difficult.

Right now he's freaking out because I changed my seat and he wants me to go back to sitting on the couch. He gets very stuck on te picture in his head about the way things should be.
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Re: Rigidity

  • august06momaugust06mom member
    Thanks Auntie. We generally just go about what we're doing and he eventually settles down. But man is it tiring to listen to tantrum after tantrum -- and his big brother relishes egging him on.
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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    This is just a little anecdote so probably not that helpful :)  DD1 used to have a thing about me wearing my hair in a ponytail.  She would freak out about it, so we started talking about how she wasn't in charge of other people's hair or clothing.  We made up a stupid song about it called "you're not the boss of my hair."  If she started to give me grief about my ponytail, I would sing the song, and she would let it go.  She was rigid about other things, too, and I found that once we started making progress in a couple of areas, it was easier to get her to be more flexible in others.  GL!  Two is a tough age.
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  • august06momaugust06mom member
    -auntie- said:


    august06mom said:

    We generally just go about what we're doing and he eventually settles down. But man is it tiring to listen to tantrum after tantrum -- and his big brother relishes egging him on.

    DS's psych has a theory that all kids on spectrum have a predetermined number of tantrums in them and that if you bend over backwards to avoid them early on, you'll end up with a kid who doesn't develop any resilience around being flexible and you'll have those tantrums when he's bigger and stronger.

    It's a shame his brother eggs him on. Have you shared the dx with him or gotten him any support around this? My local support group has sinshops where kids can share their frustrations and concerns in a safe and facilitated meeting with peers who have sibs on spectrum. 

    There's also the Eve Band book "Autism, Through a Sister's Eyes" which is excellent.



    Thanks for the support group idea. I think he might like that. He does know about the dx but I don't think he really understands. We had another talk today so I hope it helps.
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  • realisticdreamsrealisticdreams member
    I know dd2 doesn't have ASD (that we know) but the pony tail song cracked me up.  I am constantly saying, I am the boss, I make the rules not you M.  If P doesn't want to do this that's fine.  If P doesn't want to do that, that's fine too!  She flips her switch if something doesn't happen the way she wants it too.  Even something so stupid as leaving a piece of trash on the floor.  "Noooooo sissy, pick it up.  sob sob sob"  

    DD1(4):VSD & PFO (Closed!), Prenatal stroke, Mild CP, Delayed pyloric opening/reflux, Brachycephaly & Plagiocephaly, Sacral lipoma, Tethered spinal cord, Compound heterozygous MTHFR, Neurogenic bladder, Urinary retention & dyssynergia, incomplete emptying, enlarged Bladder with Poor Muscle Tone, EDS-Type 3. Mito-Disorder has been mentioned

    DD2(2.5): Late term premie due to PTL, low fluid & IUGR, Reflux, delayed visual maturation, compound heteroygous MTHFR, PFAPA, Bilateral kidney reflux, Transient hypogammaglobulinemia, EDS-Type 3


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