Talk to me about reward charts

That.Just.Happened · November 2013

EJ has become a bit of a PITA recently with regards to listening, eating dinner, going down for her nap, etc. (basically being a normal 3 year old). I was thinking about trying some sort of reward chart, but I don't know if she is too young for it. Any advice? Right now she does understand fairly immediate rewards (and loss of rewards). i.e. if she eats all her dinner, she gets dessert; if she is good about going down for her nap, she gets a treat when she gets up (and the threat of losing that treat is usually how I get her to behave).

But it is still a struggle and in general her listening/behaving/doing what we ask is not the best. I just don't know that she is old enough to get/care about the concept of earning a bunch of stickers throughout the week to work towards one big reward at the end. Or maybe she is and I am just not giving her enough credit.

Any suggestions? And can you point me in the direction of exactly what such a system would look like and work, logistically? i.e. what is on the chart? How is it laid out (are there free printables online somewhere?). What do you offer as a reward, how do they earn it, do you ever take anything away, etc?

Thanks ladies!

klynne924 · November 2013

We just started a rewards chart with DS (3 y) about a month ago for his lack of listening at school. I drew up a table in MS Word with 6 columns and 6 rows; one for each day M-F, **PRIZE** for the end of the week, and we're doing the chart for 6 weeks. I took him to the dollar store and let him pick out 10 prizes, whatever stickers he wanted for the chart, and a bucket to hold the prizes. We talked to him repeatedly to help him understand if he has a good day at school, that he gets a sticker and once he gets 5 stickers then he gets to choose a prize. When he gets 10 stickers, he gets to go somewhere fun, like putt-putt, Chuck E. Cheese's, bounce house, etc. He's only in preschool from 9-1, so I don't think it's unreasonable for him to be able to listen for this short amount of time. We talk it up on the way to school most mornings and he tells us every night that he's going to have a good day at school so he can get "x" stickers to get "x" prize. We discussed with his teachers what we had implemented and they are completely on board and let me know everyday if he listens and stays out of time-out. Makes us both happy to see his lead teacher give me a thumbs up at pick-up. He had 2 days after his fall break when he didn't get a sticker, he was upset, but he knew he should have listened. His listening problems at school are the same we have at home, pretty much trying to test our limits and thinking we're going to ask him multiple times to do/not do something. DH, his teachers, and me have all cut it down to asking him one time and if he continues doing whatever behavior, we tell him "one time" or his teachers tell him "5 minutes" and that's it. After that, time-out.

Another thing we've started doing at home is taking a large toy or group of small toys away for unacceptable behavior or not listening and putting it away in our closet. Once he has a good day, he can get it back. A few weeks ago, we had every single last toy in our closet and I wasn't happy about that for more reasons than one!

Sorry about the length, but this has greatly improved his listening since we started doing the reward chart. Hope this helps! I still have the document saved if you want me to email it to you.

bem168 · November 2013

Check out https://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/ At the very least, it will give you some ideas about what to create and what will work for your family.

I am a special ed teacher and am constantly creating visuals/behavior charts etc. Just make sure that whatever you implement is consistent and that it works for your family. If it is too hard to manage, you guys won't be consistent and then it will all be for nothing. Hope this helps.

slwprincess · November 2013

3 yrs is a good age. That's about when we started with Gavin. We need to start ours back up... Sophie has also got some issues listening the first time. It's driving us crazy. I found our chart on Pinterest (https://suttongrace.blogspot.com/2010/01/chore-charts.html?m=1) and customize it for each child. Some of the things we put on there is 1. Get dressed and put on shoes 2. Eat dinner/happy plate. 3. Listen the first time. 4. Buckle up self in car seat. 5. Brush teeth. 6. Help put away dishes (usually just silverware). 7. Pick up toys. Etc. usually it just takes a little reminder that they won't get a check mark/sticker and they become more cooperative. Also, as much of a PITA as that elf on the shelf is, I'm already using him as a behavior bribe!

That.Just.Happened · November 2013

Thanks so much, ladies! I stayed up late last night making a chart and am going to start trying to implement it today after a trip to the dollar store to get stickers and prizes. Right now I am thinking that we will put a small sticker on each square that she completes correctly (get dressed, eat breakfast, etc) and at the end of the day if she has X number of small stickers, she will get one big sticker. Then at the end of the week if she has X number of big stickers, she will get to pick a prize. Does that sound like it will work?

I'll check back in a week or so and let you know how it is going!

klynne924 · November 2013

That sounds like a great plan! If she's anything like my son, she will get excited about putting each sticker up and working towards getting her prize! Good luck!

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