s/o shoes - shoe tying

jerseygirl81 · September 2013

We've been trying all summer to get Charlie to learn how to tie his shoes and haven't had any success. He's getting frustrated because we're about to buy a new pair of shoes and they're going to be either velcro or elastic, again. He wants tie shoes, but he needs to be able to get them on/off himself at school (they wear slippers in the classroom). Any brilliant suggestions for teaching this particular skill? I honestly think it's worse than potty training

Littlejen22 · September 2013

Loop, loop, swoop? Have him hold the laces close to the shoe and not far out or when he pulls he will undo the tie. Also try the shoe not on his own foot and stuff something inside it to make it harder.

But he will not like this comment but I would not send him to school with laces when he first learns how to tie them because he will not perfect it yet.

How old is he?

jerseygirl81 · September 2013

He's newly 5. I wouldn't send him with laces right away, we can't wait long enough on the shoes so the new pair won't be tie shoes, either.

neverblushed · September 2013

My son did a stint in OT for fine motor weakness. His OT said age 6 is about average for boys to learn to tie shoes. Average. That means there are plenty of little boys not tying shoes until they're older.

You compared it to potty training. In fact, this OT said what I've heard many moms say about potty training: "you can either start teaching them to tie shoes at age 4 and spend 2 years teaching them, or start at age 6 and take 2 days."

With my son, I started with just the first step: make an X and cross one lace over the top and down through the "legs" of the X. Pull it TIGHT!! Then I would take over. When he became proficient with that step, I went on to the next step. He felt good because he was doing 1/3 of the whole process!

Next is making a "bunny ear" and pinching it tight at the bottom. Have him hold the "bunny ear" while you make the loop and push it through the circle to make the other "bunny ear." Have him pull his bunny ear while you pull yours. Let him practice keeping tension on the laces. Learning to pull those "bunny ears" tight is the hardest part.

Try taking it in steps, giving him about a week with each step.

Chapter79 · September 2013

Honestly, my daughter just learned this skill at 7 1/2. And that was after trying many times, since she was 5. Then we tried again before school started and we went sneaker shopping, and she finally just GOT it and it took 3 tries. Really! It was like potty training- she was ready when she was ready, and just couldn't grasp it before that.

I know how frustrating it is!

lilies&orchids · October 2013

There is a video on YouTube called how to teach a six-year-old to tie shoes and it's a different way than most of us tie, but it is very easy way to tie shoes.

sweetie0228 · October 2013

I second the book Auntie suggested. Thats what I used to teach my son, also ASD. But while he could tie the laces it wasn't until Boy Scouts and they learned other knots that he mastered shoe lace tying. Believe me it's super hard to find non tying adult shoe size sneakers appropriate for Gym class.