School-Aged Children

Birthday parties?

How do you like to handle birthday parties when you aren't inviting all the kids in the class...?

Another mom from DS's class and I were talking about this because her son's birthday is coming up. She doesn't want to invite all 25 kids but she worries about hurt feelings when the kids inevitably talk about the party. She thought about doing just the boys, but there are one or two that she really DOESN'T want to include.

I suggested doing a small party and just letting her son pick 5-6 friends. I have a long time before DS's bday in March, but this is likely what I'll do.


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Re: Birthday parties?

  • Spin313Spin313 member
    edited October 2013
    Yep, 25 kids! All three kindy classes at our school are FULL. (Technically 26, but one is only there for an hour or two in the morning...maybe special ed? Not sure, but he's not there regularly)
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  • I have b/g twins so they usually pick 3 friends each to invite to their bday party.  The rule is that the invitations have to be sent to the home since you are not inviting the entire class.
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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  • mrs_sexy said:
    I have b/g twins so they usually pick 3 friends each to invite to their bday party.  The rule is that the invitations have to be sent to the home since you are not inviting the entire class.
    We have the same rule at our school.  Invites can only be sent to school if everyone is invited.
  • Yes, our school has a "don't send invites unless they are for everyone" policy, too.
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  • It's common for kids to stop having "whole class" parties once they reach elementary school.  Sometimes kindergarten kids still invite the whole group, and rarely first grade.  So don't worry about kids' feelings being hurt.  It's normal to begin to have parties with just the friends at this age.

    Most schools/PTAs publish an address list for just this purpose.  Mail invites to the chosen guests.  Do not pass invites out at school.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • I was in the same situation last year with DS. Our school has a policy that you invite everyone or all the boys/girls. There were 2 boys in DS's class that I did NOT want to invite and neither did DS because these kids were mean to him. I just mailed invitations to 4 kids he chose. Most teachers send a class roster with addresses on it at the beginning of the year(with permission of the parents). 
    Also, 25 kids in a K class is too much IMO. We max out at 21 here. Is it one teacher or do they have full times assistants?
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  • the policy at my school is if you are going to hand out invites on school grounds- you need to invite the whole class.  If you are going to hand out invites/ email/text/ call, etc off school grounds you can invite as many or as few people you want.

     

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  • I hate all class parties as I find them (as do my kids) to be just too overwhelming.  I just mail the invites to the kids that my girls are friends with or send an evite.  We have explained to our kids and it was brought in their PreK class as well that not everyone will get invited to all parties and they have asked they not discuss the parties at school.  My girls are now in Kindy and 1st and it really works out well and I have never felt overwhelmed with the # of parties and my kids have never felt bad about not getting invited or even realize when they are not.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • My kids invite 5 school friends each, and the invites are passed out at school. That's how it's done around here and my kids never complain when they're not invited to so and so's party anymore, nor have I ever heard of/witnessed any drama over a child not being invited.
     

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