Learning to sleep

viking15 · October 2013

Is there any information out there about children learning to go to sleep on their own without training by the parents? I'm very frustrated with my DD right now as she will be a year old on Nov 8 and I'm still rocking and nursing her to sleep. This wouldn't be that big of a deal of she only woke once a night or even 2 times but the last week and a half she is refusing to sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time even at night. Her naps are usually only 45 minutes, but her night time sleep used to be very good. Now it's very bad. There are some extenuating circumstances due to us not being at home due to termite tenting of our home, but last night was absolutely ridiculous. I'm wondering how the transition to going to sleep on their own happens and if I need to "train" her. Even if it has to be gently. Any ideas?

ncbelle · October 2013

I'd take a look at the no cry sleep solution.

opheliainwaders · October 2013

Theoretically, babies do eventually learn to sleep on their own, but it would be years. I second PP's suggestion of No Cry Sleep Solution. We're trying some of those techniques, and today DD fell asleep on her own for a nap for the first time ever.

erbear · October 2013

Read Ferber. Even if you don't want to use a CIO method, there is some good info in there on sleep issues at different ages. Good luck! No sleep is brutal.

Mrs.AmyDylan · October 2013

I'm reading the Dr Sears baby sleep book and the no cry sleep solution is next. Sears is a is advocate of night fathering. No CIO. Both books were suggested my my birth center FB mamas group. I'm dealing with too many night wake ups by my 10mo old.

cpmich · October 2013

I didn't read any books and we never did any sleep training, but just wanted to give you some hope. My son just turned 3. Sometime in the past 6-9 months, he did start putting himself to sleep on his own. Sorry I can't remember exactly when. He sleeps 12 hours a night, which gives me some quiet time. Hang in there!

TiffanyBerry · October 2013

You are also right on target for the massive sleep regression some people find right around the 1-yr mark. Major talking milestones and walking milestones tend to hit in this time frame. Not to mention teething. And fears.

blu-eyedwife · October 2013

I can't give you any resources, but from a common sense standpoint, biologically children have to be able to fall asleep on their own. It would have been disastrous for early man to do any form of sleep training which would involve alerting predators to their whereabouts.

We didn't do any sort of sleep training. No CIO, no Ferber, no Sleep Lady. I nursed and rocked to sleep, until he stopped falling asleep when nursing (on his own) and would just roll over and go to sleep (around 10 months). From 10 months - 21 months I still rocked him to sleep, but that was because I enjoyed the time with him - he didn't really need it. And it was only the length of a lullaby. At 14 months he started STTN on his own, so the rocking to sleep wasn't a big deal. At 21 months, DH took over bedtime. He doesn't rock to sleep. He does a story and then puts our guy in his crib, where he falls asleep.

opheliainwaders · October 2013

Oh, also, OP, if you're just generally interested in learning more about infant sleep, this site is excellent: https://www.isisonline.org.uk/

musicalmama5 · October 2013

blu-eyedwife said:

I can't give you any resources, but from a common sense standpoint, biologically children have to be able to fall asleep on their own. It would have been disastrous for early man to do any form of sleep training which would involve alerting predators to their whereabouts.

We didn't do any sort of sleep training. No CIO, no Ferber, no Sleep Lady. I nursed and rocked to sleep, until he stopped falling asleep when nursing (on his own) and would just roll over and go to sleep (around 10 months). From 10 months - 21 months I still rocked him to sleep, but that was because I enjoyed the time with him - he didn't really need it. And it was only the length of a lullaby. At 14 months he started STTN on his own, so the rocking to sleep wasn't a big deal. At 21 months, DH took over bedtime. He doesn't rock to sleep. He does a story and then puts our guy in his crib, where he falls asleep.

I am so glad to read this! This is exactly what I plan to do.

Hopefully DS will cooperate haha. Right now he unlatches and rolls over to fall asleep about half the time. He still wakes up a lot, but since we bedshare I don't mind too much.

opheliainwaders · October 2013

musicalmama5 said:

blu-eyedwife said:

I can't give you any resources, but from a common sense standpoint, biologically children have to be able to fall asleep on their own. It would have been disastrous for early man to do any form of sleep training which would involve alerting predators to their whereabouts.

We didn't do any sort of sleep training. No CIO, no Ferber, no Sleep Lady. I nursed and rocked to sleep, until he stopped falling asleep when nursing (on his own) and would just roll over and go to sleep (around 10 months). From 10 months - 21 months I still rocked him to sleep, but that was because I enjoyed the time with him - he didn't really need it. And it was only the length of a lullaby. At 14 months he started STTN on his own, so the rocking to sleep wasn't a big deal. At 21 months, DH took over bedtime. He doesn't rock to sleep. He does a story and then puts our guy in his crib, where he falls asleep.

I am so glad to read this! This is exactly what I plan to do.

Hopefully DS will cooperate haha. Right now he unlatches and rolls over to fall asleep about half the time. He still wakes up a lot, but since we bedshare I don't mind too much.

My mom did something similar, it turns out. She nursed to sleep until we were old enough to want stories, then eventually changed up the order from story-nurse-sleep to nurse-story-sleep, and then phased out the nursing when we weaned. Seemed to work out OK?

ReeceFamily · October 2013

gulickr said:

Oh, also, OP, if you're just generally interested in learning more about infant sleep, this site is excellent: https://www.isisonline.org.uk/

Thanks for this resource - seems like it will get better over time, too, as they collect more data.

=Lee=B · October 2013

There is nothing wrong with teaching a child some strategies to sleep better. Sleep training is often associated with CIO and ignoring a child's needs to make an adults life easier. But teaching a child some strategies that are appropriate for them and help them remain calm, happy and to have their needs met is perfectly fine.

TheEditor · November 2013

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: Marc Weissbluth M.D. ...

LindsayPDX · November 2013

I know how frustrating it can be at times. What worked for us was transitioning DS to a floor bed around 12 months. We childproofed his room and put a queen mattress on the floor. We would rock him and gradually started laying down with him while he was still awake. Eventually he didn't want to be rocked anymore and would just ask to lay down with us. We still cuddle him to sleep and then leave when he is asleep. We gently night-weaned him when I got pregnant. Now, for night wakings DH goes in and lays with him. He still wakes up once a night about 50% of the time, but the other 50% he sleeps right through and I NEVER thought it would happen. He will be 2 in December.

Anyway, the floor bed has been a life saver for us because we can cuddle him and still leave, and he loves it. He never slept for more than an hour or two when we tried to put him in his crib (before that we mostly bed-shared).

Good luck and {{{hugs}}}. I know it's rough. It really does get better and better.

opheliainwaders · November 2013

ReeceFamily said:

gulickr said:

Oh, also, OP, if you're just generally interested in learning more about infant sleep, this site is excellent: https://www.isisonline.org.uk/

Thanks for this resource - seems like it will get better over time, too, as they collect more data.

I hope so! The research nerd in me liked it a lot, but is wishing for more! I found it originally from a link on Evolutionary Parenting.

Learning to sleep

Re: Learning to sleep

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: Marc Weissbluth M.D. ...

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