Toddler BFing too much and losing weight??

krissymikey · November 2013

I am a FTM with a 16 month old baby girl who has been EBF since birth. At every pedi appt through about a year old, she was in the 40ish percentile for weight. At her checkup in September, she had dipped way down to the 5 percentile, and the doctor told me to add more healthy fats to her diet. We had been offering peanut butter, avocado, yogurt etc even before the suggestion, but ramped it up after the doctor visit without much success. The doctor wanted us to come back for a weight check in a month, so yesterday we went in and were discouraged to find she is now in the 3rd percentile. She looks healthy when you look at her, and I don't want to get hung up on a stupid chart, but I am kinda freaking out about the whole brain development thing. Here's the thing. Hannah looooves nursing. She nurses 3-4 times at night and fairly often throughout the day. I feel that it's part hunger and part comfort, but she gets pretty mad when she pulls on my shirt and I offer her "real food" instead. When I give her food I know she likes, like for example a strawberry on a fork (she much prefers a fork over picking up food with her fingers) or a strip of cheese quesadilla, she will usually take 3 or so small bites before just being *done*. So it's not really that she dislikes food, it's more the problem that I can't get decent quantity in her. Same goes for cups....I offer cows milk, drinkable yogurt or Pediasure, but she'll take only a sip or two before being flat out done with it. I know toddlers are easily distractible, but it's just getting so frustrating. I try super hard to not let her see my frustration and the last thing I want to do is push food harder than I already am, since I don't want to give food a negative spin. I'm happy to nurse as long as she wants to, but not at the expense of her losing weight. My mom and husband both think she's filling up too much on breastmilk which is lower in calories and nutrition now that she's getting older. So, they think I should actively wean her or possibly switch to pumping and putting the milk in a cup mixed with some yogurt or something. Are they right? Yesterday I experimented and didn't nurse her all day, but at lunchtime and dinnertime the story was the same....a few bites of buttery mashed potatoes and one green bean, and done. Any advice??

jamiah18 · November 2013

Wow! I haven't checked the bump In months and just happened to log in today. Your post could have been written by me. I'm sorry to say that I don't have any advice to give but I wanted to let you know I am going through the exact same thing! I get so frustrated! It doesn't help that my daughter is super busy so getting her to stop and eat is a huge project. My dr is sending us to a gi doctor as a precaution. I'm fairly certain it's the fact that she isn't eating or drinking enough bc she's so busy and still nursing but better safe than sorry I guess. Good luck, you're not alone!

khill86 · November 2013

I don't really have any advice, but regardless of age, there is no food as calorie dense or nutrionally rich as breastmilk. That's ounce for ounce, of course. I don't think weaning is the solution (unless you want to) nor is nursing the problem. But I'm sorry, I have no solution for you.

Hopefully something turns around for you soon!

jess9802 · November 2013

khill86 said:

I don't really have any advice, but regardless of age, there is no food as calorie dense or nutrionally rich as breastmilk. That's ounce for ounce, of course. I don't think weaning is the solution (unless you want to) nor is nursing the problem. But I'm sorry, I have no solution for you. Hopefully something turns around for you soon!

I'm sorry, but that's just not true. Breastmilk only has about 20 calories per ounce. (Avocado, for example, has about twice that much, and more fat, ounce for ounce.) My understanding is toddlers need something like 1200 calories a day. They can't get that from breastmilk. It's not that breastmilk loses calories over time or degrades in quality - it's that a toddler's caloric needs are now much greater than what can be provided by milk alone. A toddler who is filling up on milk - breastmilk or WCM - may be doing so at the expense of other sources of fat and calories that they really do need.

OP, I am not sure what to tell you. I work full time and so my son was used to not nursing during the day. When he turned one I stopped pumping at work and we transitioned him from BM to WCM. He gets WCM during the day and nurses twice a day, in the morning and just before bed. Except under exceptional circumstances, I refused to nurse in the middle of the night after his first birthday. He is a small baby (only about 14th percentile for weight at his one year check up), but I actually think he started eating better after his birthday and the night weaning.

I don't think at this point that I would totally wean your daughter - that would be traumatic if she's that attached. But I think you could start by weaning at night. Then I'd start dropping one nursing session during the day over the next few weeks until you're down to one or two. Does she nurse at regular times? Maybe offer her food before the time she'd normally ask to nurse so you know she's not feeling full from breastmilk. I think you're right not to show your frustration, but I'd about throw a damn ticker tape parade whenever she eats - lots of praise and smiles and "Mmmm, isn't that yummy?!" and "Good job!" I know my son is a lot more willing to try foods that I'm eating as opposed to something I serve him. Have you tried holding her on your lap and offering her bites of what you're eating? Letting her steal something from your plate?

You may want to get back in touch with your pediatrician and see if a consultation with a dietitian or someone who specializes in pediatric nutrition might be helpful. Does your daughter have any sensory issues or food aversions or anything like that? I'm sorry you're stressing about this - hopefully you get some good guidance and things turn around. You may want to post on the Toddlers 12-24 Months board as well.

acbfreire · November 2013

My DD nurses a lot - more than 6 x a day, but she does eat 4-5 regular solid meals per day too. I am not sure what to suggest, but try to give her praise for trying solids. Offer than more often, toddlers are grazers by nature.
Keep nursing her, though.

henrytviii · November 2013

This sounds like a tough one. If I were you I'd want to let her nurse until she decides she wants to cut back as well but she's hardly eating any solids I would see that as a serious issue at this age. I don't have an answer but just a quick comment on the transition with toddlers. You mentioned that when you tried cutting the nursing down your daughter still didn't eat much for lunch on dinner I've noticed that every time we have had to make a switch my son as had very minimal food or fluid intake initial until he gets used to the idea. First is was around 11 months when I stopped pumping at work, my supply instantly disappeared and my son was very very upset at each nursing session so we transitioned fully to formula and bottles. He didn't seem upset about the change (he was that frustrated with nursing) but at first he ate the same amount and ignored the bottles so his calorie intake was quite low for a several days until he caught on that this was the new system. Then he moved to eating much more food and having some milk/formula from bottles. When we cut bottles at 13 months he ate the same and had NO milk for a week or so. Then started eating much more and drinking a tiny bit of milk. Now at 17 months he finally drinks about a cup a day and still eats a lot. Each transition took 2-3 weeks, except the transition to milk from a sippy which has taken 4-5 months so far. I am not sure how low your DD's weight is and perhaps you don't feel like you can wait out these transitions.

violajack · November 2013

Breastfeeding friendly toddler nutrition advice: https://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/toddler-foods/

There are also some good links at the bottom for more ideas on getting plenty of calories into your toddler.

anonsouthernbell · November 2013

I would wonder if there is an undiagnosed food allergy or intolerance. I would definitely follow up w your doctor but weaning is not the solution as it is so beneficial especially since your child is not really eating. I would also make sure they are using the WHO chart? Finally, is your lo teething. My kids never eat a lot whn they were cutting teeth.

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